A little poem for my wife

Loving you is my greatest joy
Being with you seems so nigh
For 12 great years, you have been my wife
I am proud to say, i have you as mine.

Our love is not made of fairy tales

It's from understanding, true love, we live to tell

We have ups and downs, that are sure to prevail

With your love, even life's greatest challenge shall be quelled

Thank you for the joy you have been giving me
Forgive me, for the time i made you angry
Through the space of time, i only pray for this
Let fate destines you will always be for me

This little poem, i dedicate to you
In gratitude of your love and boon
My love for you, shall always bloom
Through the ecplise of the sun and the moon

Kiss the rain, Smell the roses

Depression is real. Depression is ubiquitous.Depression is unkind.Depression transcends gender, race and colour.

According to WHO's (world health organisation) report, Depression shall ascend itself to be world's No 2 killer by 2010, it is so scary, isnt it? Among 10 walking down the street, 6 to 7 person are likely to be inflicted by depression.

Depression is not a psychorpathic or psychorneurotic problems, it is a sickness, a health issue and a social issue, if not tackled, the effect is unimaginable.

Just look at us, day in and day out , we are faced with all kinds of stress, coming from all areas of our lives, money, job, relationship and etc. We cant slow down, or we are not allowed to slow down, we've got bills to foot, got so many and many things to settle, untill we fail to realize that our mental and pyhsical walls are gradually crumbling down.

Our human touch is decaying, we find it hard to have good friends to pour out our feelings, and seems that nobody is listening to us anymore. Husband and wife are not intimate anymore, because both are so tired when they get back, children feel that parents are exerting too much pressure on them, study, study and study.

We all have to be careful, slow it down, find them to exercise, be intimate with your spouse, be close to our children, smell the flowers, find a religion, do some charity

P/S , love yourself a liitle more, you are important

Do we care?

So they say they have the irreconcilible differences, they want to call it quit, that's fine.
So they say they dont want to suffer anymore, they want divorce, that's fine too.
So they say, going the separate way is the best option, that's also fine.

What is not fine, is who are going to be responsibe about what the children's say, what about their feelings, their emotion, their pressure, their emotion needs, their sorrow, their confusion, their doubts, their anger, their questions and their ego.

Most of the times, when a marriage goes ugly, the warring couples start to get bitter at each other, that's when the children suffer the most, if it is the amicable ending, then the damage is minimun. In my opinion, for any divorce,there bound to be impact on the children, it is only the degree that makes the difference.

I have 1 niece and 2 nephews who are now embroiled in the mess from their parents divorce, it really angers me when the parent think that things can still be status quo, that their lives will still be the same for the children. I told my sister these can only be wishful thinking.

Superficially, the parent believe that the children understood their predicament, who else should understand them instead?

Their children could be suffering in silence do they care ? Do they foresee the stigma that would stay with them through thier growing years.Do they care ?

When children cannot find happiness in their own homes, then they will find it elsewhere. It is the Elsewhere that spells danger, it is the Elsewhere that the children get lost, it is the Elsewhere that they find their so called "solace or santuary".

Whenever i look at a problematic or a dissolute child, i know deep inside me it is not his fault to be like this. Once he longed to be loved, he couldnt find any, once he longed to be hugged he couldnt find any either, once he longed to be told that someone loved him but that seemed so far fetched.


P/S, Children need our hugs and kisses more than PS2 3 or 4

So you were told..and it's all right

Lately i could notice some switch of attitude in my eldest(11 years), he would give me cold shoulder or act nonchalantly when you reprimand him or trying to correct him.

This bugs me for quite awhile now, finally i decided to have a candid talk about this with him. I told him that soon he would be entering another phase of boyhood, that's for sure i said to him, i told him that he would become rebellious in one way or the other, he drew a blank look at him, and said that he did not understand what rebellion was all about. I experienced to him what being rebellious was .

I assured him, i would understand that even if he truly manifests the rebellious side of him, but i wanted him to have an avenue of vending whatever he feels inside in the correct way.

P/S, i need to look the inside of me, to see the outside of him

I am sorry Jovial... My son

I did something terribly wrong last night, i didnt know it was wrong untill i heard it my from my wife what my eldest said about me...

My eldest was kind of dissappointed with me last night, when i told him that i would be back shortly from buying water, instead i ended up in a kopitiam(coffee shop) with friend buying me drinks chatting and marrying till late night.He told my wife that i did not keep my word, i guess i have let him down.

This incident got me thinking again, why our children could behave so nonchalantly, even disdainly when we talk to them sometimes, now i realize it could be the little fault of the parents, what we see so little can be soBig in our children's eyes. I reckon if were to talk to him last night, he could have given me a cold shoulder, then may be i would get mad at him, with no wrong of his.

When i see him later today, i shall give him a big hug, telling him i am sorry that i did not keep my words.

P/S, see i am a human, born to make mistakes and learning from them as well

Compouding ourselves

My O2 phone went kaput the other day (which was given to me by my wife, which she bought for RM2100, 4 years ago, of which i hardly used the high tech figures except some basic functions), my wife coaxed me into buying another so called sophisicated phone, of which i refused, i finally ended up buying a RM150 Nokia (brand new, mind you, colour screen some more, mind you, got reminder function some more, mind you)

I was concious with myself, i knew part of me wanted the high tech phone (can show off ma), part of me struggled to stay realistic. I managed to see the light of wanting it and needing it, i chose the latter. I needed the phone but did not want to have a high end phone.

Sometimes we really need to see in details and do some mathematics about things we really want to own but on the flip side, these same things we can really live without. I scanned through most of the items that i bought, i suddenly realized, i dont want them now, and i didnt need them in the first place either.

I believe all of us have in one way or the other having this experience, buying something that we never use, we are all guilty of it , right?

Things that i bought that i dont need now, and i didnt need then, just value at RM5000, 5 years ago. The same RM5,000 put in FD earning 3.5 % per annum, it would have given me RM1000 in interest. I have 7 watches , in fact i only need 2, one for work, one for sport. One serious drain of your money, is the changing of cars, tens of thousands we would lose.

After reading the book "The Monk who Sold his Ferrari", it is true that, sometimes we really need to look deep in ourselves to know what we really want and need.

God says to waste is a sin

P/S, I need 1 wife but i dont want 2

She aint heavy

She says she is calling it quit after 15 years of marriage. She says she has had enough.She says she is now 46, and she is looking out for her true happiness.

I care for her and i love her dearly but at first i just could not comprehend why is she doing all this, how could she walk out on a marriage after all these years, many have even percieved her negatively when she decided on this. Now i understand, i said to her i truly understand her, and i will support her with her decision like i said i care and i love her dearly.

For a good 15 years, she has suffered silently, just could'nt tell anybody, but despite her sorrow, she has always portrayed a strong and cheerful character, but no one knew it was tormenting for her.

I gave her a big hug the other day, when she was crying whilst sharing her thoughts with me. I wanted to make her know that she is not alone, she has got me, and i will assist her in anyway possible, as for me she is one wonderful woman.

I pray that her liberation shall come with joy and true happiness that she longs for after all these years.

P/S She aint heavy, she's my sister

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Get well soon, mom

The dawn of another working week is breaking, but this week seems to be different from the others, it will see how my poor mom struggles to walk steadily again, it shall witness how united her children will be in taking care of her, it will challenge her children's priorities over theirs for her, it shall put to the test her children's love for her, it will also see how her children's will put all their differences aside in order to give her peace of mind to recover swiftly.

I want to thank god indeed for my sisters, my sister in law, and my wife, in time of need, no matter how small their assistance is, it seems so very big. My mom is already 70 years, if she were to leave for another 10, what kind of life shall her children give her, when she has given them the big chunk of her life to them, i promise to take care of her not to the best of my ability but also to make every effort to make her happy through her remaining years, this i promise.

Even through her medical ordeal, my mom still worries about her children, about each and every of her child's being and their family. I have great respect for her, and i love her dearly.


P/S, please do the needful for our parents before the needfuls become needless

My youngest sister

Went visiting my mom again in the hospital, but this time i am not talking about my mom, but about my youngest sister instead.( i am 42, she is 40)

I used to be closed to her when we were in our teen, sending and picking her from school on my bike, then i was like a Big Brother looking after her (though she never knew that), i guess it was easier for us to click when were younger not much of stress, or may be misunderstanding.

She sent me home last night with my children in her car, the journey to my house from the hospital was short, but it seemed long enough, suddenly i felt me and my sister were not that close anymore, our subjects of communication was rather superficial, seriously i dont know why, how could this be so, we are flesh and blood, man. we are supposed to be close, damn it, but the fact is, we are not.

I can tell my two older sisters that i love them, but i just have problem of telling my youngest sister just that. I love my siblings very much, and i dont expect them to be likewise, but i really wish i could just tell her that her brother cares.

Anyway, i just hope that Money is not the separation of our brother/sister relationsihp, and money should not be the hindrance to our brother/sister relationship.

I might not be as rich as she is, or i might not be the brother that she expects me to be, but that doestn mean that i am not good and caring brother for her, i have my flaws but my flaws doesnt discount me from being the brother who cares and loves all my siblings.

P/S, i am glad i have this penned down, in case i am gone tomorrow, at least she would know that i love her.

Make health an issue

Seriously, whatever we do, do not ignore our health. We can stack our money high up, we can dream of having millions, we can wish we go travel the world, but all this will come to a naught, when we dont have the health to live out our dreams.

When i looked at my mom after the operation for a bone implant, i just got the sense that this probably can be avoided when she knew what she knows now, that she has to for example take more calsium and exercise a little bit more. Back then, i believe my mom didnt have the luxury for doing this becasue she was busy toiling for the children's survival, you see now she is suffering because of us, we the children can never repay her the health.

A lot of us fail to make health one of retiring factors, if we were to think hard enough, we should start doing justice for ourselves by investing in our health in tandem with investing in our wealth. When we hit our golden years, it is when our whole mind, body and soul will be put to the test.

P/S, Dont say, you dont have even 10-15 minutes a day to exercise, think about it!!!!!

She's the greatest

My mom who is 70 years old, had a fall yersterday which fractured her left hip bone litterally leaving her immobile. When i saw her in the hospital, she was groaning in pain, that really pained me as well.,

my mom is one tough woman, i mean real tough. I remember when my dad passed on 27 years ago, she had to struggle to keep her family safe and warmth, when she was 45 years, going against anybody's advice, she learnt to ride motorbike, so it made it easier for her to commute to work and home, her reason for her to learn to ride a bike was that she could rush back to prepare meals for us.

She would skimp and save every dime from her meagre income working as domestic helper, the amount that she saved virtually had helped her children trough difficult times in one way or the other.

I stayed with her last night in the hospital, for the first time i realized how feeble, how weak and how vulnerable she is now, i assured her that she would be all right from the operation, i knew it scared the hell of her, when she knew that she would go under the knife.

As i was leaving, i gave a kiss on her forehead, she held my hand, and wooed me to go home and rest despite the fact that how much she wanted me to stay.


P/S : I love you (My dearest mom)

words,,, dont come easy

I was reading a book by Dalai Lama entitled "the road to self contentment" just the other day, one verse in particular struck me in awe, " Man must be ready to be first to help others, if you cant do that, then do them no harm"

The "harm" here is not described as being phsyically abusing others, but it could be harm in verbal sense. How many of us have uttered words that are hurting to others, how many times again we have hurled words that are damaging to our loved ones, i am guilty of that too.

You see me being the Man of the Household, sometimes i let this supremacy overrules me, if my family sometimes dont do thing my ways, i start to get agiatated, and begin to use unloving words at them, i fail to understand theiraction, suddenly the whole situation became like a cold war zone, nobody moves.

Minding one's use of words is not easy, but as the Man of the Household, i need to make that change.

P/S, I am only human, born to make mistakes, and not born to make the same mistakes too many times.

Switch......

Let us not groan and moan over our predicatements, in life there are things that we can change, if we are faced with troubled water, then we must be the Bridge over Troubled Water, if the road we travel is all rough and tough then we must be a Smooth Operator.



If money's too tight to mention, then we must learn to open more avenues, If you think you always have a Bad Day, then you must learn to Beat It, and be The Man in The Mirror and make that change.





Life is always A Little bit Country and A Little bit Rock and Roll, that's why We dont need no Education to teach us about life.





P/S , let us say goog bye to our moan and groan and let be Gone with the Wind

Son, let me learn

Where do our children go from here, i mean besides what they are being thought in school, to excel academically and what not. Are they being thought about life lessons.



Just had some thoughts last night about how to teach my children about the money matters, You see parents now do really feel the pinch about money, it is worse when compounded with never ending increase of all the prices, but the wants of our children are like incessant, they are exposed to so many things PSP, MP3, and what not , how do we say no them when most of their friends have what he doesnt have?



I believe parents should really set good examples, if we tell our children dont waste electricity, but we do otherwise, how we expect them to learn. If we tell them to save, but we spend like as if there is no tomorrow, how you expect their piggy bank to increase.



If we can shower without hot water,please do without. if we can sleep without air con,please do without. I reckon life is tough for us now, it will be even tougher for them in the future.



P/S. Please tell our children the beauty of thriftyness.

Manic kinda of life ....

Everything seems so crazy now, doesnt it ? It looks like there is no stopping of surge of oil price, the government wants to change this and abolish that, last time they had subsidies here and there, now they say it is all free float, suddenly, you feel that your pocket is shrinking, and your boss's business is no good. Left, right and centre, we are inundated with news of price increases, from roti benggali to nasi briyani, from chee cheong fun to hoo wan(fish ball).



Most of us do not have enough to brace against all these uncertainties, which will surely throw us into difficulty, may be from today on, we must learn to practise simplicity, and cut down luxury. Our utility bills must come down, we must now learn not to waste, things like electricity, water, food and etc.

My all time financial advice is always, one cent saved is one cent earned

One true life story : A friend of mine, who 4 years ago MAXed his 5 credit cards for a total of RM60,000 +, now he has to pay monthly about RM1349 for the next fifteen years after consulting with Bank Negara (national bank AKPK) for strcutured repayments schemne(and he cant use credit cards utill he settles all the debts), i believe if he could turn back the hand of time , he would had chosen a more frugal lifestyle. Mind you he is 51 years old now.



P/S, do not worry about things that we do not have control over, relax , just do it

Condoms, No thanks

Oops, now our beloved Deputy Health Minister suggests that women should carry condoms, as to share some so called mutual sexual responsibilty.


I guess one day i will be most cheekily flabbergasted to find few condoms in my wife's bag, i must thinking to myself "i thought we do it behind closed door, why should you be carrying Con in your bag ?"


According to the MOH's stast, there were 746 cases of women contracting AIDS last year, the question here is, they did not tell us, did all these girls get AIDS because of thier unfaithful sex partners or thier own unfaithful fling.


We must understand how many women fell victims to AIDS from their unfaithful spouses rather from their own doing, they simply cannot demand their spouses to go for HIV screening should they feel not safe.


I guess man should be more responsible rather the woman, when it comes to sexual responsiblity, be a faithful partner. I like sex but i rather do it with my wife.



P/S, let start by teaching our sons the respect they must have for girls

It's so funny, why we dont talk.....

Remember the good old Sir Cliff Richard's song " it's so funny why we dont talk anymore", does it ring a bell, that this could be so true in our lives, we dont really talk anymore, and it is so funny, isnt it?., Remember the same one that you could talk to 100 of times everyday, when courting time, how come now it is so different?

Just this morning, when my wife and i woke up, this first thing that came out of her mouth was "where is the remote control" i knew that she wanted to catch up with the show that she missed the night before, but i was thinking to myself, hey before i could say good morning, or giving her a hug, i lost my mood already, this led me to headed straight out for work without talking to her.isnt it funny?( mind me, i am only human, sometimes bad mood just got the hold of me, Ok?)

How many of us realize that this little insensetivities, in a long run can make us really dont talk anymore.

P/S, pls dont get me wrong, i love my wife dearly. I guess the longer we are together, the more we have to talk, and listen.

C'est la vie

There's a famous French saying " Plus ca change,plus c'est la meme chose", it simply means, the more you try to change, the more you stay the same.

Remember the last time how you pushed so hard for your child to improve on his study, before you knew it, he was faring the same or may be worst. But when you try to push him a little by a little, the result can be amazing.

If our son's exam result was 46 points, now he managed to garner 49 , do we congratulate him, most often than not, we dont because he is still in the red, we tend to belittle his effort of achieving the 3 points, the little progress that he has made.

May be from today on, i need to progress a little bit a day, learn to love a little bit a day, try to forgive my adversaries a little bit a day, save a little bit a day and love myself a little bit a day.

I know I cant change all my flaws, my bad temper all at once, but if i try to change it bit by bit, i know i will get there.

P/S, achieving smallest of goals, is better than setting big goals and not achieving them