Remembering the time

The above picture was tagged by my lovely wife onto my FB page, it was a small note written by Jovial when he was 10 years old, somehow it just brought back some old good feelings reminiscing those little things that our children did for us,when they were little.

Now that Jovial is 16 years old already,I love teasing him by singing this song,"You've lost that loving feelings,oh oh that loving feelings,you've lost that loving feelings now,it's gone,gone,gone,oh oh oh"

I mean I do respect him now that he is 16,he might not be as "sweet" as he once used to but I know he still has got that "sweetness" in him.

How I wish I could turn back time,reliving those moments but then again that would remain a wishful thinking but I guess for the time to come,I will continue to love him as much as I used to..

Can you still remember the good old memories your children left for you? Have a great weekend and God Bless

时光一逝，永不回，往事只能回味

P/S : Don't let it slip away............

with my pants down

I thought I had the room door tightly closed,so we were "making out" and suddenly Jovial opened the door,there I was caught with my pants down.......He exclaimed,"wa lau eh", thank God for a dark room,he might sense my skin color (hahahah) but it might not have seen the "action" and he moved away.

It just happened like that too fast, crash boom and bang.

So, the blunder was,I thought the door was closed and I was "doing" it and the boy saw it non conspicuously, even though I told him it was a "massage" session but I don't think he bought it and I shall find a time to talk about this with him and I know I will..

I am okay of explaining IT to him, he must understand and he should know, boy his age I rather grab the bull by the horns,instead of let it run wild,you know boys his age,so full of imagination.....

P/S : Time to call the locksmith already......

I like it when age catches up on me...................

You might be cursing me as a hypocrite when I say this," Now I like it when age catches up on me" simply because no one wants to be old,everyone seems to be saying,"How nice if I were to be in my twenties,thirties " So bear with me and let me share this with you....................

Just a fortnight ago, my lovely wife was under tremendous pressure as far as her work was concerned,she sent me a SMS telling me that she was on the verge of crying out loud and her pressure lasted about two days straight,the pressure was intense, could see it on her face.

I suddenly felt so hopeless on how to help her to alleviate her stress and malaise as far as her work was concerned,I could not do anything but then again, I knew I just had to do something about it,so as soon as I got back home, I did up the house nicely,the floor was spanking clean,clothes ironed and others chores almost done up.

I could not sleep well that night cos I knew she could not too and when it was about 2.30 am, I saw a shimmering light coming out from the master, I took a peek and saw her still on her "notebook" corresponding with her overseas colleagues. I waited till she was done and I said to her "girl,let me give you a massage just to get you a nice sleep" and glad that I did and it was already 3.30 am.

You see,if I was younger, I would not have known how to love more,care more and sacrifice more, so as age catches up on me, I've learned to love more, give more, care more and forgive more.........and as I do that(give more, care more and love more) I would learn to become a better husband and a nicer father.

So now, I begin to love my receding hairline more cos along with it for every strand of hair that drops, there is a certain amount of love building up in me.............

Thanks for listening

P/S : Age gives me more reasons to love more

When she is down and out..............

You know what makes a good wife and a good mother,I will need to look no where else,she is right there to describe a perfect picture of a good wife and a doting mother.

She was already coming down with sore throat and fever when she came back from Singapore Saturday night,the next day,the Sunday,she knew that the children wanted to go out for some "jalan,jalan",despite the physical malaise, she still wanted to let the children have some fun..

As we were doing some shopping and what not and as we were in MPH,(that's my Marvell favorite hangout while shopping), I saw her rounded her arms and sitting down in between the book shelves islands,looking tired and frail,trying to get some rest there and then in MPH but she still did not want to get the children home,as she knew that the boys were happily reading in MPH.

This morning,she was on a medical off day,I quickly cleaned up the house and just to make sure that when she woke up,she did not need to tire herself doing the house chores and I really think it is my responsibility to share the household duty and the onus on me to take care of her when she is down and out......

P/S : She is a woman, a special one indeed

A weekend without her..................

I shall miss the Saturday run in the Botanical Garden with her, my Saturday breakfast will not be so much fun without her,there will be no holding hand,walking down the food arcade and strolling with her into the wet market this weekend with her next to me............

I know one thing for sure,she is not doing it this for herself,flying into Singapore ,out tomorrow night which will earn her a few hundred ringgit for a trip like that,she wants to do it,may be she wants to have that little extra to lavish on her family,not that we are poor but to her why not for a few hundred ringgit to make the children happy.

A woman like her,will always have her family's welfare,happiness and joy on top of her lists and I really thank god for a woman like her and making her my lovely wife.

You guys have a great weekend and God bless.

P/S :Lonely is the night

In her remaining years.........

Took my mother out for breakfast the other day,it was raining heavily that day and the floor of the market was rather wet and slippery,i held her hand,just to make sure that she felt secured to walking on the slippery road, then suddenly this feeling came raging to me.........

As i held her hand,her wrinkled and the hand that as if was covered with ragged cloth, I really felt that she was indeed "old already". She was once a strong woman that she would never "kow tow" to sicknesses,what more a mild flu and fever but now the same physical malaise could just worry her sick.

When she was in her mid 40s,she took the gut to get her motor license and learn to ride a motorbike from scratch for she thought it would be faster for her to get home to cook for the family and indeed she did it


Looking back through the recent years, the spate of arguments that we had,my stand against her biased comments,those times of "cold wars" with her and by that moments of holding her hand,suddenly I felt i was rather "stupid" to put an 70 ++ woman going through those nonsense,just because i thought I was upright,just because I held on to my belief that impartiatiality must prevail, the moment I held her hand that Saturday morning,I really felt I was stupid.


Suddenly,the smell of curry mutton stuffed my noise and the memory of this curry mutton,i remember the time when i was 11 years old,my mother used to slog for some extra few hours of "OTs" just to buy the mutton and cook for me my favorite and it was really a "luxury" back then.

Well,she doesn't cook for me anymore and I guess in her "remaining years" this is the time that i will tend to her now,make everything and anything else frivolous and just to make her my"mother" in her remaining years.

May the good Lord continue to bless her with good health and joy in her remaining years.

P/S :Don't lose sight of someone you love in their remaining years,

Thomas 29. Apple 27...................

I have been asked this question far too many times already,"Eugene, would you accept it,if one day your son come running to you and telling you that he is a gay?".............

There was this headline,gracing the front page in almost all of the Chinese press last Saturday, featuring a wedding of Thomas 29 and Apple 27 of which happened to be the same sex marriage said to be the first in this country.

Some of us may curse our tongues out, lashing at them for decaying the society, for eroding the moral values and sadly some of us may even reprimand the parents for allowing this wedding to take place.

On the other hand, some of us may put our hands up, heralding them as heroes for their courage to come out in the open and no longer need to love each other in the dark, unnerving the fear of social stigma.

As for me, I am neither against nor approve of such kind of union, i don't need to, for Thomas 29 and Apple 27 know what it best for them, simply because both of them are an ADULT who has the right to choose their own live and if I were to know them personally, I would also extend my sincere blessing to them.

In retrospect, after all that has been said about Thomas and Apple, I must say that I really respect the parents of this couple, accepting them unconditionally, going through those hard times with them,(you know the scorns, the unkind words and the finger pointing and the gossips from friends and particularly relatives), to this I must take my hat off for to parents of Thomas and Apple.

Back to my question at the beginning of this post,I would be happy at least my son could RUN to me telling me he is a gay, instead of telling others,secondly I would, as a father to teach them to guide them the best that I can and to submit them to the Good Lord and when they are ADULT, they are to choose their own lives..............................

P/S : Sometimes happiness does not entail who is wrong, who is right

90/140......Chill babe

My lovely wife sent me this SMS," went to see doc just now,blood pressure 90/140 ,quite high,,worry....................."

When i received that SMS, i was kind of disturbed, how can it be for my lovely wife leads a kind of a healthy lifesytle,then as i zero in,there could only be two areas of her life that would stress her,that's her job and the family...........

I was still thinking then,how as a husband i could help her to destress further, I mean besides doing the house chores and assist with the children's stuff, what else can I do ? I was really digging deep and suddenly i realized this.......

Yes, sometimes my male ego stuff and the part of being chavonistic could really get to her, i reckon,you see my lovely wife has a mild demeanour and i guess sometimes she has to bite the nonsense of mine,probably that generates the unseen pressure and stress to her too...

So now as being a husband, I am determined to be a better one now. She enjoys her work, so there is not much problem but the children stuff and my stuff, i will not give her the headaches, thus let us chill


P/S : I want to be a husband of love, of concern, of more love and of more concern

I am a different kind of Christian.......

I loathe it to the bone, whenever this statement is made directly or indirectly pointing at me as being a Christian."How come you Christians behave like that one, what for going to Church still acting in uncivilized ways"

My mom was so mad at a particular incident that involved her 20 + old grandson and another member of the family, there was some scuffle in term of some body contact and it was over some business issues, so she called me and over the phone she had already started swearing away with profanity,( i knew the situation was bad enough for a 70+ old woman swearing and cursing away), and that particular member that got the bombardment from her happens to be sharing the same faith like i do.

So over the phone i could litterally hearing her calling names, cursing away and it was just bad and she was hoping that i could warn that family member (who happens to be Christian) to not touch her grandson again and she was eager for me to do that for her.

I said to her that i could not do that for her as I did not even know what excatly happened and it would be very unfair to proclaim someone gulity without being found guilty, that's just not me /
lah.

Sensing my unwillingness to stand on her side, then she began to insinuate that I was protecting that particular member who happened to be a Christian like i was so she started her salvos in making general statement such like,"you same geng one lah, lousy Christian, my friends Christians are so good unlike that bastard blah blah blah blah"

On a hindsight, the whole problem was just some business disputes involving two right thinking or wrong thinking adults,that's all but the real problem was someone jumping the gun without checking or finding out the truth,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Just digress a bit,the other day a friend was commenting this about me," You what kind of Christian, can wear earing one kah ?"

P/S : Yes I am a Christian and I am a humanly Christian currently under construction to be a better one..............and I am willing to be reconstructed

This used to be my playground.......

Don't know why suddenly I had this urge of sharing this post with you guys,may be it has been too much of BERSIH'ing of late.

I was growing up in this place,they used to call a Chinese ghetto but the name for it is,"Rifle Range Flats" you may wonder why did they call it Rifle Range, it is simply because that plot of land where 9 blocks of flats stand used to be a rifle range,(shooting ground lah)The unit that i was growing up in was a one room flat and we (my siblings) really had good time growing up there.
This is the uncle Salim that i used to buy my "Top of the Pops" magazine from, anyone of you still remember this Magazine that featured the British chart toppers" remember Kajagogo, Johnny Hates Jazz, Rick Astlely, Spandau Ballet, Queen, Alison Moyet,Paul Young and many more? Remember?
Me and Uncle Salim, he still recognizes me after all these years, it has been at least 30 years..

And this is the kind of bread seller (not this one though) that i used to wait for every evening,when i heard the clanging of the bell, i would rush down to get my Bengkali Roti, remember Bengakali Roti?

This is the eatery that i use go right until now to savor my favourite childhood's breakfast. Used to come here playing badminton with my friends when the arcade was clear in the afternoon.

I grew up with simplicity and on the hindsight i love simplicity and thank God we were poor then,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

P/S : It might be meandering but it is always nice to walk down memory lane

Sweet Child of Mine..........

Was in the car with my lil Marvell as i was sending him home from his after school care, the following conversation ensued between a father and a son...................

Marvell, " Papa, can you come to my school this Saturday to take my report book?"
Papa, " Son, I don't think i want to because i know that you are a good boy and you have done well in school and i have faith in you son"

Marvell," Thank you Papa, you know I am in the 2nd position in the class and in the whole form as well and Papa next time i will do my best to be No 1, ok?
Papa," I am so proud of you son, you have done well, just enjoy your study and the No 1 will come automatically ya"

As he leaned his head towards me, he said," Papa, I love you and you are the greatest "
As i gave a gentle stroke on his head,i said," I love you too son, you make me happy all the time"

Note : The reason i don't like attending the "taking report card" session in the school is because his teachers will always tell me this,"翁唯" Marvell" studies well but very talkative and mischievous lah" and my standard answer to the teacher shall always be," He is just like the father"......有其父，必有其子。。

P/S : All they need is love and love is all they need

Kissed and said goodbye................

Jovial came into my room early this morning about 6 am, softly he said,"Papa, good morning, i am leaving for my Boys Bridage camp now" I was still like half awake, half sleeping and i went "ha, ok".

Then he bent down a little, stretching his head towards my cheek and gave me a kiss on my cheek and gave it a gentle pat and saying i love you papa, then i said to him" go and enjoy yourself and see you back on Thursday,ya"

Jovial can sometimes be so cocky and nonchalant towards us(well, i guess this is what a normal 14 year old boy would behave) but every time when he shows his affection, tender loving care and warmth towards us, it really makes us feel so proud.

Just like this morning, the kiss, the saying of "I love you, papa" and even the good morning ,those were nice feelings that would linger a little longer as far as i am concerned.

I really have a small family, just the four of us and it is really the duty and the onus of me and my lovely wife to cultivate the sense of "familyness", the bonding and the love to one another,

Sometimes i do get very upset with Jovial when he subtly bullying his little bro and calling him non pleasant names but every time when i ask him, does he really love his brother, he will always says,he does.

When we take turn to pray at night, either Marvell or Jovial will always ask the Good Lord to bless, to protect all of us in the family and they do really make me proud.

P/S : I love this family of mine..............

This feels so good.

If you could recall, i was sharing how Jovial did not fare too well in his previous exam, he even flung his Malay a month or so ago.

There was no scolding from us, there was no comparison made, there was no punishment meted out, there was no silent treatment rendered to him, all that we (my lovely wife and I ) did was sharing our thoughts with him, telling him the results back then was only commensurating with his effort.

We encouraged him to prove his worth, we assured him that he could do better than he did last, the competition was and still is tough for him being in the second class, we let him take his breather, we allow him some space to readjust himself.

When we stepped back during his most recent exam, we were so surprised that he took all the initialtive, to do what he thought was imperative to prepare for his exam....... and the result was simply amazing.

He is the third highest in his history (which he did quite badly in his last exam), forth highest in mathematics (his self confessed weakest subject), passed his BM with marks of 67 (may be no big deal to you but to me this son of my deserves the pat pat on the shoulder, remember he failed his Malay the last exam?)

When we make them feel about even the little improvement, big surprises will come out of it.

P/S : With loads of Love, we shall see the difference

Two stories.........equally funny

I enjoy spending my lunch with Jovial, it is the time we both could talk, he could ask, i could joke and he could joke as well, so today's lunch was no exception, he was sharing this with me.............

Out of nowhere, he suddenly said this to me," You know papa, it is very hard to be a girl" I was litterally taken aback by what he said, without hesitation I asked him why did he say what he said, I thought probably he now understood how hard it was for his mother to be a mother to him and as a wife to his father but nothing close to that came out from him.

I asked," Why did you say it was hard to be a girl" he responded," Of course, it is hard, if a girl likes a boy, she cannot simply go up to him and say,"i like you, right? Now I know what he meant and jokingly asked him, was there any girl intereted in him, he said no lah.

He was telling me how this Brands Essence of Chicken had done good to his friend as far as his friend's exam was concerned, he was telling me that this Brands Essence of Chicken was so good until his friend improved on his exam from 60 to 74 but in the end he was telling me the otherwise about Brands Essence of Chicken.

He said it was actually not the power of Brands Essence of Chicken that helped his friend, all he did was he simply cheated and i thought it was funny coming from my 14 year old son and on the hindsight, i truly enjoyed doing lunch with him.

P/S : Cheekilly he is my son, funnily i am his father

Happy Moment...............

My lil Marvell is really such a darling, he is always filled with kind loving words and when he speaks, he will put you on cloud nine........so the story goes.

I appeared in his classroom, waved at him, asking permission from his teacher to speak to Marvell for a while, then i told this," Marvell, please wait for me after school, papa will pick you up later and take you for lunch ya" i could see him beaming with joy.(Usually, i don't pick Marvell up, he got this nanny sending him to the after school care)

As soon as he saw me waiting at the gate, he charged at me, giving me tight tight hug and say thank you profusely, while in the car, he leaned his head against my arm and saying this to me," Papa, thank you for giving me surprise,thank you for picking me up, thank you for taking me for lunch, i really appreciate and you are the greatest papa," enough said.

You see, even a majestic, gigantic and robust building can be demolished in just a few seconds but to build another building of such scales will take months, if not even years and just like the hurtful and rude words we say could demean, destroy and crush just another person,especially the little ones. My 10 year old Marvell Ung Wew, so proud of him.

Have you ever heard this before," You stupid boy" "You useless gump" or " Nothing you do could be of any good" said by a parent to a child?

Have a great weekend guys and god bless.

P/S : Kind words go a long way

Fooled by randomness............

How many times have we said this before,"never mind lah, once in a while.let us enjoy" that phrase of "once in a while" is like being fooled by randomness. We thought we would just do it randomly,not habitually not compulsory and not regulary but sometimes the end result could send shiver down to your spine.........so the story goes.

Last night, my lovely wife was sharing this with me,she said" after paying off all the credit card bills,(she has the habit of paying off all her credit card bills, even before it appears in her next statement,not leaving one cent in the outstanding column), I am left with this meagre amount"

I was like kind of shock with her revelation, to me this could not be the case,(don't worry we still have some cash to shoulder on until the end of the month,,hahahahah)We have always been very careful of our spending, when I recollected the spending habits of us this month, i truly realized that we had indeed been fooled by randomness.

One weekend, we truly enjoyed ourselves with expensive dinner and I was telling my family, "never mind lah, eat good good, once in a while, must enjoy" then the next day without realizing it, i was saying the same thing to my family and another expensive dinner and the following weekend, it was the same statement I made.....................

After counting the amount of money we have spent on food alone, it was truly "out of norm" for me in particular, we did it as if the world was going to end or as if we still managed to have those,"once in a while" enjoyments.

Note : Good habits are hard to keep, sometimes.

P/S : Randomly, we can be fooled

Regret.....I have a few

When you were young, when you had money to splash, when you thought your wealth would bring you the clout the do what you would like.........fast forward may be after 15 or 20 years now the road.......you sigh and you were telling yourself, i should not have done all that....the story goes............

I was at a coffee shop with my lovely wife and we stumbled upon our old neigbour,"Albert", he was alone, we chatted for a while and he was the reason i wrote this here and may be to even serve as an reminder to myself.......regret,sometimes you can't even afford to have one.

Albert was once a rich "taukeh" (boss) running a car repair workshop mainly catering to those damaged cars from accidents and helping them to claim insurance and what not, back then this business was like "get rich quick" so money was not a problem for Albert.

He would leave his wife and his two younger children at home, he would go out every night, song , wine and women were to be in appetizer, main course and dessert on top of his dinner.....and with so much money to dispense, he got into gambling.......horse racing and that really caused his downfall.

The word "downfall" is suffice to describe the present 60 years old "Albert" the whole family has forsaken him many years ago, he was not even invited to his only son's wedding, can't even see his only grandson, living alone in a flat,left behind by his brother (thank god he still got a roof over his head)

At 60 years old, he still has to work in a car repair shop with inconsistent income, and may be the regrets were too overwhelming to him,he eventually quit drinking, smoking and gambling but he still cannot redeem himself from the faults he had done to his family..ditto

In life, we can be tempted by many many thing, girls,unethical business deals that will garner us ill gotten wealth and even the so called enjoyment that will entrap us into addiction that will eventually get us more regrets in later part of our lives........

Sometimes i really think i am poor but then again i know i am always and forever will be rich in HIM.

P/S : Regret should not be a word in itself,if we know how to begin with the end in mind

Dangerous 13............................

When my Jovial asked me if i wanted to watch "YouTube" depicting a 13 year old girl being bullied by her school mates, I declined his offer,reason being to me it was nothing new and it shall not be the last either.

You must also agree with me that time has changed with the advent of technology and our children being inundated with barrage of so called "information super highway", why are then things not turning out to be better, especially to our teens but otherwise is prevalent.?

I had talked to Jovial school headmaster and disciplinary masters, they told me there was so much they could do in so called disciplining the recalcitrant students and as they put it" anything beyond the perimeter wall of the school" is none of their concern.

If what the HM and the disciplinary expounded to me can be established as something making sense, lest their cars not being sabotaged even their safety at stake, then I guess the sole responsibility in helping these teens must be upon the parents, could it be true then?

I have a 14 year old boy and all of my friends would always cautious me that this is time representing a watershed in my boy's life, one side he can turn out to be good, the other side the otherwise and I rather do what that I can and spend the time i possibly can with prayers to take him on the good side.

I'd talked to many of the students, (13 years old or so) the so called "Kuai Lan" mischievous ones, as I wait to while away my times to pick my Jovial up, I can only make one conclusion, seriously speaking................ they are just being themselves.

Being themselves as a teen, being themselves as being a little rebellious( we were there before,weren't we?) being themselves to be heard, respected but sadly most of this time of being themselves, they are not properly guided to be good.

Parents giving themselves excuses such like," where got time, we are busy making ends meet" "There is so much we can do, to be bad or good, fate lah"

I am not the perfect parent but I do know one thing.........actually these dangerous 13 years old really need our times, attention and guidance, simply because most of the times, they are confused too......and mollycoddling them with material stuff won't help them at all.

P/S : Give me a little bit, give me a little bit of your time to me..............

Thank you for making me feel Super.......

I posted something about my wonderful Jovial's new blog this morning in my earlier post and I was asking you guys to hop over to his blog and comment something about it and the end result was something that has really brought so much joy to me........why? the story continues.

I was enjoying dinner with my two boys,(my lovely wife is down in Singapore for two days for business) just now, on the way home, Jovial was hugging me as we were walking back home, then suddenly he said this to me," Papa, you are so good, you are so super lah, your friends came to my blog, 10 of them are my followers lo, you are good lah papa" enough said.

I was enveloping myself with so much joy and syiokness from what Jovial told me, it's has really made me feel so nice, at an instant i really felt like a Super dad and i really don't mind wearing my undie outside and flying high, seriously speaking.

Life is like that, isn't it ?we never realize how the effortless effort that we bestow upon others could bring so much joy to the recipient and I am the one that was made so happy by all of your kind gestures in hoping over to Jovial's blog......

Once again, thank you guys, you made me feel brand new lah.

P/S : A little kindness is what it takes to make a someone so happy

New Kid on The Blog....(NKOTB)

I would reserve this post and introduce you guys to a New Kid on The Blog, actually he is not new but as he put it, he had a childish blog that he dumped as he felt that the time had come for him to embark on something Manly..................

His blog looks kind of cute to me, even as he tried to cut himself out to be a man blogger just like me, he still has some flavor of childishness in the blog, what to do lah, when you are a boy, you can't wait to be a man, kan?

I had a good laugh when i read his first blog post entry on Saturday, it was kind of fun to do it as a way for me to get to know this New Kid on The Blog better....I guess we shall have more things to chat about in times to come,like a man to a man ? a boy to a man? a boy wanitng to be a man to a real man? hahhahahah.

So, guys please hop over to this wonderful newbie's blog and leave some comments there to get him a bit of syiok up ya.......................I kind of like his blog name too,,,click the link here to check him out and lend him your support, ok.............

P/S : Step by Step, you will get there as a man one day