Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Is this the right way ?

While I was waiting to pick Jovial up from school the other day, parked myself at my usual coffee shop to while away the time. That day I met my old neighbor who happened to be having his lunch there as well, so we chatted.

The following conversation ensues.

Me," So how are you keeping Lee ?"
Lee," Okay, now I am driving school bus,quit my old job"

Me," So, how is Michelle (his daughter) and how is she now?"
Lee," She is 16 now ?"

Me,jokingly I asked," So Michelle got boyfriend already or not ?" The girl was pretty when she was young
Lee," No, I control her "ketat ketat " (very strict)

Me," So,how does she go to school then?"
Lee," Morning I send,after school wife will pick"

Me," So you allow her to use computer at home"
Lee," Only one hour everyday, I don't care if she uses after 1 hour,I will just turn the PC off"

Me," So do you allow to let her go to Gurney Plaza or Quennsbay with friends"
Lee," Nope?"

Me," Does she handphone ?"
Lee," No, even my house phone is locked, she can only take calls"

Me," What if emergency ?"
Lee," Then she has to go down to the public phone and call "

Lee was adamant that his ways of "controlling" her daughter of 16 years old is to make sure that she does not end up bad bad bad in life.......................

Personally, I do not see the logic of being a control freak as a parent, a partner or even a boyfriend or girlfriend.

P/S : We were all young once.


  1. LOL... This reminds me of my only sister I have. My mother was so strict to her as she had too many admirers like stray cats and dogs. My sister was so rebellious and freaked out so often but today she thanked my mum for being so strict...only on her!

    My sister was WILD and TOO HOT! SP's nose will bleed.

    1. LOL! Your mother was only strict to your sister and not you, TM??

      That's unfair! I demand for gender equality!!

    2. why le my name is over here...
      annay tm you miss me too much is it?

  2. My parents are quite lenient towards us girls. I have 2 younger sisters :)

    They weren't the control freak type, but they always give us advices and guidelines. Of course, sometimes restrict us from doing something silly and immature.

  3. I have an elder sister..
    but I am not sure whether my parents are strict to her..
    our age gap is big....

  4. Reminds me of my younger days, very strict upbringing too!... hahahaa...

  5. The dad is too strict. I'm afraid her rebellious spirit will arise when she turns 18.

  6. Your friend will end up losing her in the long run. We can be strict to some extent, but not until that extent as your friend is doing. There must be a mutual trust. Once they know we trust them, they will value that trust in return they will do their part. What your friend doing is a dangerous thing, she might rebel one day.

  7. I don't even want to start to imagine my troubles and headaches when Chenya grows up....Will leave that to later when the need arises....hahahaha

  8. I do understand his concern for his young daughter. Hopefully she will turn out fine. I knew someone whose parents are watched 24-7 by her parents like a hawk, except for school related activities, she is not allowed to stay back after school, no visiting friend's houses even on school holidays or weekends; she is not allowed to take or make calls, not allowed to go anywhere without an elder female relative to company her, not even to the church if no chaperon. time came when she finally get to continue her study in a local college in the city - where she is allowed only because her married sister lives there. a year later, she ran away from home to get married with the security guard.

  9. There is nothing wrong to assure our children always in the right path and doing the right things.However i was so perturbed the side effect of over control our kids daily routine due to our adamant thinking. When our kids reach different stage of age, i was thinking should we also play as a different role towards our kids.I also hope that my kids able to stand firm and know their life journey down the road in case one of the day their parent is no longer there!!"Like my beloved dad did to me:-(" Prayer is the key and the bond towards the foundation of the unity for a family. :-)

  10. the poor girl... hmm i guess every parent can get overprotective sometimes

  11. I guess we shouldn't control much, instead we should communicate more, love more and respect more. I hope I do have wisdom on how to do it best when my girls are at teen.

  12. Lee pull the rubber band really tight, all the rubber band has it elastic limit. I hope his girl won't jump up high after she graduate.

  13. Hmm, I dont think it is a right way. When you are controlling someone too tight, it is like choking them. I think a little bit of leniency is good.

  14. I don't really agreed to use the word CONTROL. He should educate his daughter telling the consequences awareness of doing this and doing that.. I knew sometimes parents (typical mentality kolot type) are quite hard and shy in opening mouth to talk. It's wrong to control, that will make the daughter feel annoyed and angry

  15. actually control his own daughter in this way is consider good.

    just have to talk nicely all the time, what I think was, lock the phone is too much.

    yah sometimes 16-17years old can cause very very big trouble . . . (if u read newspaper frequent)

  16. Every parenting ways are different. I can't imagine how I will handle my kids when they are in their teens. I do hope I will be their friends instead and hope they can talk to me like a friend too.