My neigbour Jo was on a long phone conversation with my lovely wife last Saturday evening, one side complaining, the other side complementing.
The complaining side was about her son,(same age with Jovial 14, same school as well) she was lamenting that, no matter how much she tried to control him, scolding him and curtailing his activities and even refusing to hook up internet line for him at home, he was still not bucking up, worst still, he began to play truant........
The complementing side was how good our sons were,blah blah and blah, then she began to imply that may be it was a good idea for her son to join us to the church............
After my lovely wife told me about the content of the phone conversation, I began to realize, why in my neigbour Jo's impression my son was better than hers, no no no, my son ain't no better than her son in some ways, I have my share of problem with my Jovial too, right up untill now,albeit all the good bonding we have.
I'd learned to regard Jovial as a 14 years old boy, no more small child, I began to listen and to respect his opinions and his arguments, even sometimes I have to shout at myself," Shut up Eugene, shut up, your son is talking and you save your opinions first and listen to his"
Just the other day, when Jovial told me about his friend sneaked out from school and went to the girl friend's house, I was then sharing my concern with him about such situation, the sex, the pregnancy and the problems from of the aftermath and we had a good chat about this,, he agreed and felt for my concern.
I am not discounting the fact that attending church is good for the teens but then again, what do we do as parent when we are at home?
When Jovial told me that he disliked my drinking habit, I must then thank him for he was only concern about the health part and i respect that.
I am still learning as being a better papa but one thing that to me is crucial is learning to respect our son and daugther as another individual with unique charecteristic
P/S : Repect is mutual but most often than not, we make it a one way traffic....