Monday, May 02, 2011

Something to do with Age,,an emo post......

I am not sure if you could identify with me, that at times age itself can beget you to start to long for something, it is very inexplainable at times, may be you'll begin to think of long lost friends, good old bonding that you once enjoyed with friends or even siblings,you try to recollect and recapture but then the story goes..........

I was sending my two boys to catch a movie in a mall yesterday, as i was whiling away my times. suddenly i bumped into one of my sisters, i said hi to her,( It was like exchanging etiquettely required niceties )such as how are you..bla blah and bla, I was like thinking i could be the most sociable person to others, how come i was dumb if front of my lil sister.

Our relationship is no way hostile,(it has neve been) and she happened to be my most likeable sister when we were growing up, but somehow we just lost that " Loving Feeling", as far as i want to fathom the reasons behind that loss "loving feeling", reasons are no way to be found.

I might have my flaws as a brother or may be we are alienated by our different characters, liking or even may be choices of who we should get a little closer with, or who we should stop at arm's length.

May be, I should just forget about being emo about it, simply because everyone has choices best to one's own or may be just may be, I might have hurt someone without me knowing it,leaving behind scars that cannot not be erased...may be

Sometimes I hate getting a little advance in age, it just hits you hard,spinning you around and leaving you with far fecthed memories and regrets that seemingly look like nothing but sometimes it hurts............

I remember once asking a dear friend who was like very hostile with his only brother this question,"Would you shed a tear for him,when he dies ?" His answer is the incredulous "don't know" then i asked him again why he said "don't know" since his brother would be the last person he would want to see him alive,that's what he once he told is funny, ain't it?

P/S : I can't turn back time, so i choose to let it slipped through with it


  1. ahhh internal affair. I understand how you feel Eugene, its not the age problem but it happens to all of us at some point of time.

    Past is a his-story. Stories that we told everyone and like every stories, it comes with a lesson behind.

    The part where people mistaken, is that they dwell in their past and it causes them to unable to move on. No matter what they try to do, they still compare it to their past.

    I believe in the power of now. Whatever we do right now will determine the outcome of our future.

    So what do you want for your future? A good relationship with you lil sister or enough just by knowing that she is still around?

    I might not have the right to tell you what to do, but if you want something, you need to start doing something now.

    All the best in that Eugene. Like the Malay saying goes, "air yang dicincang tak akan putus".

    In the end you still be a family, whatever happened in between can never changed that.

    Happy Monday!

  2. That's why must always keep in touch e.g. via Facebook or blogs - strengthen ties, stay close. I had a very very best friend in the 70s & 80s, met him in Kuching during my December trip...but somehow, things were completely different - more like a hello, goodbye thing. I felt very sad...after all the good, happy times we shared together once a long time ago. Same also with family members.

  3. Eugene, it is not surprising that we are closer to our own friends than our siblings... like for instance, my friends know me better than my siblings.. there are certain subjects that i can relate to my friends than to my siblings.. funny hor? i guess it is normal that we say hi and bye to them at certain situations...

  4. I do still keep in touch with my brother, even though we have an 11 years gap in between.

    Hopefully this bond shall last as we age further.

  5. I can understand..I have that same feeling of wanting so much to catch up with all my childhood school friends, longing to meet up and touch base with them ...not sure why..maybe, it's a aging thing, especially when you start reading of some former acquaintance's orbituary in the newspaper.....

  6. it definitely is, at different stage of life you are looking forward for different things, and i can say as you grow older things that you pursue tends to be more spiritual rather than those materials you dream for while you were young, maybe that help to explain a little?? :)

  7. I believe keeping in touch regularly keeps the relationship/friendship alive. It shows - long time no see or no keep in touch, nothing to say to each other when we do meet.

    I always believe in "out of sight, out of mind" because absence doesn't make the heart fonder. It makes people estranged. No?

  8. When I read this, I can understand you more than anyone else. As I am also having this kind of weird relationship with my elder brohter, who is 10 years elder than me. Eversince he got married, we never been hostile, just like you described here. When I met him outside, I said Hi and Bye to him only, but he never seems appreciated my greetings. I have tried my best, he still acted "cold", I can't do anything. Enough is enough, I have decided not being a fool anymore.