I am not sure if you could identify with me, that at times age itself can beget you to start to long for something, it is very inexplainable at times, may be you'll begin to think of long lost friends, good old bonding that you once enjoyed with friends or even siblings,you try to recollect and recapture but then again.............so the story goes..........
I was sending my two boys to catch a movie in a mall yesterday, as i was whiling away my times. suddenly i bumped into one of my sisters, i said hi to her,( It was like exchanging etiquettely required niceties )such as how are you..bla blah and bla, I was like thinking i could be the most sociable person to others, how come i was dumb if front of my lil sister.
Our relationship is no way hostile,(it has neve been) and she happened to be my most likeable sister when we were growing up, but somehow we just lost that " Loving Feeling", as far as i want to fathom the reasons behind that loss "loving feeling", reasons are no way to be found.
I might have my flaws as a brother or may be we are alienated by our different characters, liking or even may be choices of who we should get a little closer with, or who we should stop at arm's length.
May be, I should just forget about being emo about it, simply because everyone has choices best to one's own or may be just may be, I might have hurt someone without me knowing it,leaving behind scars that cannot not be erased...may be
Sometimes I hate getting a little advance in age, it just hits you hard,spinning you around and leaving you with far fecthed memories and regrets that seemingly look like nothing but sometimes it hurts............
I remember once asking a dear friend who was like very hostile with his only brother this question,"Would you shed a tear for him,when he dies ?" His answer is the incredulous "don't know" then i asked him again why he said "don't know" since his brother would be the last person he would want to see him alive,that's what he once he told me.........life is funny, ain't it?
P/S : I can't turn back time, so i choose to let it slipped through with it