Monday, April 25, 2011

Please Don't Do That To Me, Son

I really did not know why was i really felt like crying, tears were forming and trying to rush out from the rims of my eyes, trying hard to curtail them, how could i ? a big man crying in a coffee shop, dinner time, so many patrons there,in front of a 72 years old man, my lovely wife and my Marvell, really how could I?

But sometimes when we are too overwhelmed by something that we really feel strongly about or may be someone that really pinches that very soft spot of yours, you just ...........

May be my emo was compounded with a little of beer that i had earlier with my lovely wife and the face, the eagerness and the show of longing for company from this 72 years old uncle that really and nearly trickled the inconspicuous tears of mine. so the story goes....................

I was there ordering some foods as my lovely wife was looking for a table, it was hard to come by for the coffee shop was simply packed, when i came back, i saw my lovely wife managed to get one, sharing with an uncle, who happened to be the father of my good friend.

He ordered Bah Kut Teh fit for one but somehow or rather, he was so keen in inviting us to share the food with him, he was so quick in wanting to pay for our drinks and foods and he was so eager to ask us if we had enough to eat or if we wanted to order some more.

As i chatted along with this uncle, there i was feeling for him, he was simply looking for some company to sit along side with him, talking with him. I asked him,how come he was alone having dinner, where was my friend?

He said his son was picking up his grandson from tuition (on a Sunday) and they would eat elsewhere. When i asked him,if it was kind of boring for him, he nodded and he said before the demise of his wife( a year ago) it was better for him as he could be there with his wife in the old folk home,sitting down with her, still sharing moments with her, now that she is gone.

"At this juncture, i was pretending to rub my eyes, as not to let others see that this crazy man was subtly crying, i could not help it, there i was looking at this uncle's face, i could see his loneliness, i could sense that he had got so much that he wanted to share and may be he just wanted to be heard."

Now that she (uncle's wife) is gone and his children were busy with their own lives, sending their own children to tuition classes, waiting to pick them up, usually it would be way past his meal times but what else can he do..................just waiting and longing perhaps, until his sons are not that busy with their lives, their children, their business and their works.

I was there looking at him and talking with him, i could not help but to really feel for him, it is not about the money anymore, he has got sufficient but all he really wanted was to spend some time with his family on a Sunday,together makan-ing away.

When we were about to leave, i touched the palm of his hand and told him this," uncle when i am free, i will go and see you or may be we can come out and eat together" with a grin, he responded happily "Ok Ok"

On the way driving back, Marvell asked me about the tears, i shared with him my feeling and telling him son when he grew up, " Please don't do this to me".

I guessed Marvell knew what exactly i was saying, he held on to me and assuring me that he would always be there for me......................

Life is like that, isn't it? just when we thought we'd slogged so hard, raising the children the best possible way we could and just when we taught that we could rest on our laurels, enjoying the fruits of our toils, we some how start to begin to missing something, to crave and to long for that something................the bonding.

So let us start to strengthen that BOND now, before it goes out of bound.

Sometimes when i begin to look upon God, i look upon myself as an earthly father to my sons,,, always longing for that bonding. Just like God says, please come to me and one day i will be exactly saying that to my boys,"please come to me and spend sometime with me"

P/S : Sometimes facts of life are cruel, so don't make it even harder for yourself

24 comments:

  1. I just told my colleague whom sits next to me. Yesteday, my PIL were very happy when we dropped by their house to pick them up for supper. I guess I just have to do that more often on weekends. Thanks for sharint the story, Eugune.

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  2. very nice blog! thanx for sharing!
    God love oways~

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  3. thanks for sharing this, very good reminder to all of us :)
    have a nice day, God bless..

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  4. it always breaks my heart to know that there are elderly people, children abandoned...and how they longed for someone to sit down and spend just a little time with them.

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  5. I do hope that your boys will grow up remembering both of u, never forsaking u. It will be their time taking care both of u.

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  6. With a whole lot of loving and caring, a lot of bonding and spending time together, it is notlikely that they will leave you like that...but we can never tell - sometimes, when they find a girl/wife, they may think differently and change. Much will depend on the kind of partner they find. All we can do is to pray...and hope for the best.

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  7. u're a nice dude eugene. I think yr kids will not do this to you. I always make it a point to go back and eat with my parents, cos now that everyone is married (except my bro and he's always not ard) i can see that they are so lonely. I bring my kids, gusti with them, make them scream like mad. But i believe they are so happy when we're back. I also hope that jayden and justin won't leave me but then i can only wish and oray that it wont happen :)

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  8. Your boy is so sweet! Thanks for sharing, really brought tears to my eyes...

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  9. So sad for the uncle, sometimes I think I am like that too, but what to do... parents outstation not that far, but still far enough coz we have so much in our lives and can only be back once in a blue moon... funny thing is, even when we are back, sometimes I don't feel they miss us or the grandkids at all...

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  10. Papa, we ''seperti isi dengan kuku'', i won't '' seperti kacang melupakan kulit'' .Altough you sometimes get angry and scold us(me and keke), but i know that u care about us.
    OK, i stop at here.
    Ilove u
    From your son,
    Marvell:)

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  11. Gosh.. what a touching post today and esp seeing your son penning down those beautiful words!! what more can a parent wants...
    as we grow old, yes, we fear being alone..but then, we cannot really expect our kids to take care of us.. times have changed... so dont expect so much from them... if they take care of us, we are blessed.. if they dont, we must also learn how to let go..

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  12. So bad of you brought tears to my eyes, especially when you uttered "Please don't do that to me!" to Marvel... yeah, I always believe what Chinese said, " When drinking water, remember the spring!" ( 飲水思源)!

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  13. Thanks for the story, bro. You indeed gave me a wake up call! Time to strengthen out bonding with our kids as well as with our parents!

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  14. we often take our parents for granted, until its too late. Thanks for sharing bro.

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  15. Thanks for the gentle reminder. I need to keep this in mind constantly for not neglecting the elders.

    p/s: you are such a sentimentalist :)

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  16. i love what u wrote this : strengthen that BOND now, before it goes out of bound ... is very true .... i dun wan my sons to leave us like that when we r old too ...O.o , i feel for the old uncle too .

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  17. "So let us start to strengthen that BOND now, before it goes out of bound." I love this Eugene.

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  18. Thank you guys, i guess we are all parents,,,,, sometimes we forget to do something now, then when we remember ,,,kind of late already

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  19. This is a good reminder for us all. Thanks for sharing, Eugene. :)

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  20. Keep that bond and thanks for commenting

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  21. You got me all choked up too. You are a good person, Eugene. The world needs more of you.

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  22. Thanks for sharing the story. It is really touching and so true of the situation nowadays.

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  23. Let us sing...'that's all...' by Michael Buble.
    It's sad to live a lonely life.

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  24. I cried after reading this post.. Thanks for sharing, mr eugene.

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