I really did not know why was i really felt like crying, tears were forming and trying to rush out from the rims of my eyes, trying hard to curtail them, how could i ? a big man crying in a coffee shop, dinner time, so many patrons there,in front of a 72 years old man, my lovely wife and my Marvell, really how could I?
But sometimes when we are too overwhelmed by something that we really feel strongly about or may be someone that really pinches that very soft spot of yours, you just ...........
May be my emo was compounded with a little of beer that i had earlier with my lovely wife and the face, the eagerness and the show of longing for company from this 72 years old uncle that really and nearly trickled the inconspicuous tears of mine. so the story goes....................
I was there ordering some foods as my lovely wife was looking for a table, it was hard to come by for the coffee shop was simply packed, when i came back, i saw my lovely wife managed to get one, sharing with an uncle, who happened to be the father of my good friend.
He ordered Bah Kut Teh fit for one but somehow or rather, he was so keen in inviting us to share the food with him, he was so quick in wanting to pay for our drinks and foods and he was so eager to ask us if we had enough to eat or if we wanted to order some more.
As i chatted along with this uncle, there i was feeling for him, he was simply looking for some company to sit along side with him, talking with him. I asked him,how come he was alone having dinner, where was my friend?
He said his son was picking up his grandson from tuition (on a Sunday) and they would eat elsewhere. When i asked him,if it was kind of boring for him, he nodded and he said before the demise of his wife( a year ago) it was better for him as he could be there with his wife in the old folk home,sitting down with her, still sharing moments with her, now that she is gone.
"At this juncture, i was pretending to rub my eyes, as not to let others see that this crazy man was subtly crying, i could not help it, there i was looking at this uncle's face, i could see his loneliness, i could sense that he had got so much that he wanted to share and may be he just wanted to be heard."
Now that she (uncle's wife) is gone and his children were busy with their own lives, sending their own children to tuition classes, waiting to pick them up, usually it would be way past his meal times but what else can he do..................just waiting and longing perhaps, until his sons are not that busy with their lives, their children, their business and their works.
I was there looking at him and talking with him, i could not help but to really feel for him, it is not about the money anymore, he has got sufficient but all he really wanted was to spend some time with his family on a Sunday,together makan-ing away.
When we were about to leave, i touched the palm of his hand and told him this," uncle when i am free, i will go and see you or may be we can come out and eat together" with a grin, he responded happily "Ok Ok"
On the way driving back, Marvell asked me about the tears, i shared with him my feeling and telling him son when he grew up, " Please don't do this to me".
I guessed Marvell knew what exactly i was saying, he held on to me and assuring me that he would always be there for me......................
Life is like that, isn't it? just when we thought we'd slogged so hard, raising the children the best possible way we could and just when we taught that we could rest on our laurels, enjoying the fruits of our toils, we some how start to begin to missing something, to crave and to long for that something................the bonding.
So let us start to strengthen that BOND now, before it goes out of bound.
Sometimes when i begin to look upon God, i look upon myself as an earthly father to my sons,,, always longing for that bonding. Just like God says, please come to me and one day i will be exactly saying that to my boys,"please come to me and spend sometime with me"
P/S : Sometimes facts of life are cruel, so don't make it even harder for yourself