Wednesday, May 27, 2009

A row, may be two...............

Funny how it may seem as far as marriage life is concerned, how little things, little arguments, little dissentments can sometimes be bad. Dont know what i am ranting about ? Let me share a little of what happened to me yesterday.

I was having lunch with my lovely wife yesterday, it is kind of ritual for me if i happen to be somewhere near where she works, it was nice meeting up with her for lunch but in the spate of less than 3 hours, thing turned a bit ugly for the both of us all due to a little row or may be two resulting from my refusal to send my eldest to tution class.

I e-mailed her telling her that i would not want to send Jo for the class with attached reasons for my refusal, and shortly after that, a not so inviting emailed came back from her that she would do the job instead, i thought it was ok if she wanted to.

She called to ask me to take Jo's tuition bag for her,at that particular time i was busy talking to a customer over the phone,meaning i had to miss her call, i believe this got her mad. Before i could do anything esle, she stormed into my office with a not at all friendly expression and demanded that i gave her my car key so that she could take Jo's bag, and she stormed out like a wind. I was real mad at this juncture, i was telling myself, the least she could do was to show some respect to me in the presence of my staff and my business partner, i was incensed to the max at this point and forcing myself to calm down.(thank God, i have good patience now, blogging helps to train me to a better person)

I thought it was just another brief "cold war" but she sent me another SMS which again was not kind, again ignored it and telling myself it would be stupid for me to engage in SMS war.Feeling kind of frustrated,i went for a round of drink alone and missed my dinner at home. Feeling kind of tired, took a short nap, and and i wanted to make it up, her room door was locked, i guess as sign of protest so my hope of making up with her was dashed, and guess what i too went out and came back only this morning.

Seriously i dont blame her for her outburst, i guess it is absolutely all right for outburst but the saddest part is, when one is outbursting we must always maintain certain kind of respect for each other. I once read the interview of Rafidah Aziz our former Minister of International Trade, she said something which i found to be very profound and a wonder for a woman. What she said was simple, no matter how powerful or how high up you are outside, when at home she is not the boss.

P/S : It takes a life time to learn to be a man, a husband and a father.

15 comments:

  1. this is part of the journey of marriage... the roads are not always smooth, there tend to be some bumps and dents along the way...
    last time when i had a hot squabble with my husband, we didnt talk for 3 days... imagine that.. how did we manage to make up? well, tell u a secret.. he bought home my favourite fried meehoon from that stall and that settled our "silent" treatment....hehee... so easy hor? now thinking back, why want to stress up for so long hor.. so torturing hor? just a bit of humility from one party will settle everything..
    one bit of humility...only...

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  2. that's life, hope both of you will cool down soon.

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  3. Rafidah could say a lot of things. Bow wow, and that coming from her was really suprising, knowing how she was in MITI.

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  4. Kids, if you're reading this- do something :-D

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  5. Sad to hear that ... but sometimes have some argument is good for a couples i guess ? of coures must take time to settle that... after u have settle it ... both of you will be more treassure each other =) so hope that you guys will get better soon =)

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  6. I pray for things to be alright for you two love birds :)

    People who are meant for each other always find their way in the end.

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  7. Can't say much of here, cause I'm not married. I will be later, tough. When couple don't squabble, there's something "wrong". Buy her some flowers or cook her fav dish.. I hope these will ease the tension.

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  8. Your post just remind me something I have to do. TQ for sharing this. ;) BTW, Eugene, you shouldn't this "impasse" go too long. You can try ReanaClaire's tips but you know your beloved more. ;) Thanks to RC too here. :)

    Have a nice day.

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  9. Hi Eugene,

    Thank heavens for sms, at least you can still send messages to each other and not lose touch completely. :))

    I have a cousin who slept in the same bed but did not talk to his wife for 3 years. They send messages to each other through their children. The kids are all married now and they are still together. Kekeke!

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  10. hope things are better by now :)

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  11. Ah part and parcel of marriage. But Eugene, I wouldn't suggest you leaving the house and coming back late - I think that makes the situation worse. Always good to settle the argument asap or talk it over. Anyway hope things are back to normal one which in any case, a boquet of roses will not hurt, hehe :)

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  12. I think an sms or a call to break the ice will be good. Anyway, you know her well. I suppose you know the best way to make up with her. Hope things are alright with both of u.

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  13. marriage isn't easy, what your going through also happen to all of us I guess... and for my part it's good to know that I'm not alone lol... hope you two made up and everything's back to normal again.

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  14. LOL... quarrel again, eh? Well, me and my hubby do this stuff all the time, cuz I have absolutely nasty temper and pretty emotional to boot. I may sound a bit old fashion, but usually food can settle silent treatment pretty well. Reanaclaire's right, humility is the word. Just a little would do.


    ps: My husband is always boss outside. I would always give him face even if we are quarreling outside. Comes to worst, if I'm too pissed, I'll just walk away and leave him on the spot. If not, I grin and I can pretend to smile, but at home, no fucking way he's boss! *growl* Outside oredi boss liao, come home, I'm da boss!

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  15. Getting married is a destination for many... but what happens after that is definitely a lifelong journey.

    It is a rough journey with tribulations and joy.

    It takes a lifetime to know not only a man, but a woman, too. As we learn, we become smarter and closer to each other, and not repeat the mistakes.

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