As a son,I felt so shameful..

My mother has always been a thrifty person, I remember when I was in form 4,how she kept every penny that she could just to save enough money to buy me a new Honda motorbike.

I never knew how she did it,we were poor then,she was working as a domestic helper with meager salary and yet she had always tried her best to supply our needs even if it meant to deprive her own.

So her children all grown up now,having family of their own and somehow or rather, I felt terribly shameful of myself just last night.

I took her out for dinner last night,as we were chatting along,I told her that I just went to have my eyes checked and I was told to prescribe a pair of glasses,then my mother just interjected that she too was feeling uncomfortable watching TV lately and going out in the sun but she felt short in asking me if I could take her for a check up.

So I told her that I would take her to my optician to have her eyes checked too after the dinner but she insisted that there was no need for it,curious I asked her why cos she was already feeling discomfort with her sight, she didn't want to disclose the reason for her refusal,instead she just gave me another reason.

She said she had just prescribed a pair and there was no need for another but then again I asked if that was the case,why was still still feeling discomfort about her eye sight, I knew she might have a better reason than that.

I guess I knew what held her back.

I adamantly walked her to my optician but somehow right up to the threshold of the optical shop,she was still feeling kind of "heavy" of having her eyes checked but I just told the optician to do the needful, about 15 minutes,both my mom and the optician came out.

Then the optician explained to me what was needed by my mom, I told her to go ahead to give my mom the best,she then took out some frames for her to try on, I chose one for her but my mom kept asking me how much and how much and she said just a "normal" one would do.

Now suddenly I realized,it was that my mother never wanted to burden me so called financially from her "eyes discomfort" and that's also the reason why she never told me about her eyes malaise.

I assured her it was all right for her to have it done,so instead of asking me how much,she turned to the optician for answer, then the optician told her the frame plus the lens,all came out to about RM950, that really gave her shock,again I assured that was no problem with me at all................Ditto

All her life,she has been giving and yet only up until last night, she still felt bad how she would burden her children and I felt so ashamed of myself somehow or rather.

I am not here to trumpet how good I am a son or how great it was for me to spend RM 950 for her but instead I felt bad cos I never knew that she needed it badly,I mean I should have done it for her earlier than I should have last night.

Note : Seriously our parents never intended to "burden" us,even they needed help badly,they would keep it to the minimum,therefore please "look out" for their needs.................

P/S : There is one thing a woman always does it the best..........To Sacrifice for her family

女人的一生就是付出。。。。。。。

I would like to remember this, seriously.

Please forgive me,yet again,this post is still about my mother,why? Simply because I want to pen this down and to remind me of something...........

Took her for breakfast,because "it was a long holiday " She told me that she was still not feeling too well and she wanted to buy some fish to cook herself some porridge for lunch.

I said to her,there was no need to for her to cook,I could take her for lunch or just "ta pau" back for her,she insisted that she wanted to cook,at one point,I just could not understand,why she insisted in cooking,since she was not feeling too well.

Then I just realized that,to her,"cooking" was some kind of a solace to her,a comforting "task" to her.... Now, I understand sometimes,children must always look at things from the old folks' perspective, isn't it so?

Then as i held on her hand,slowly walked her to the wet market,suddenly she fumbled hard of my hand,her body tilted as if was going to fall and telling me that she had to sit down and she could not walk further, I quickly grabbed a stool,sat her down,then..........

I asked my lovely wife to go to the wet market alone and buy her the fish that she wanted and as I sat down with her,she told me that,it was not that she could not walk but she was not comfortable in walking....you see a few years ago,she had some kind of metal thing implanted in her hip.

As I looked at her, I was thinking to myself,what if one day she really could not walk at all,how would she feel,for my mom is kind of a restless person,what kind of a mental and emotion torture or torment that could inflict upon her.

Now I am thinking before the dawn is nigh,I will have to do what is just right and this post will always remind me of that "DUTY"

P/S : One day,we shall all be old,we shall long for a ear to hear and a hand to hold