Monday, March 18, 2013

Giving too much ?

I have this old classmate of mine, been married twice and now is divorced again, two grown up boys, one 4 years old boy and he has been blacklisted by 7 banks for the total debts of over RM100 thousands  he doesn't have a steady job.

Sometimes when I think of this old classmate of mine, I just wonder what had actually happened to him, is it the fault of his own that he is what he is now?

Of late when I had some coffee with this friend of mine,he confided in me that he was hooked on some kind of designer drug,they call it "K", when I asked him how could he afford this detrimental habit of his,he just smiled.

I remember him as someone as "tall,fair and very handsome" but now he totally looks the opposite of all that,he came from a well to do family,the eldest in the family, he always got what he asked for,I was so envious of him back then.

Even right up until now, his old parents still have to pay for his water bills and electricity bills and even up until now,his parents still have to help him to look after his sons..............why?

There is a verse in the Bible that says,"spare the rod thus kills the son" .........

I met his father the other day and he asked me to do him a favor and he said,if I could help him to talk to his son and I was like how to? we are both 47 now,consider very adult already, how could I tell him to "turn over the new leaf" probably what he wants is to waste his life away and no worries cos helps are easily available at the end of the rope.

His father told me that his regret is "giving him too much"

Would I be spoiling my sons if I am rich? I just wonder

P/S :I have always liked this Chinese proverb  先苦后甜


  1. That's parents love to their children. Hope your friend does feel grateful for having such a wonderful parents.

    1. I agree that parents' love sometimes "destroy" the children.

      I use softer approach towards my kids and when that doesn't work, I'll resort to cane (which I really dislike to).

      It's up to your friend's self-determination to turn over the new leaf. You've been a good friend though.

  2. I have been spoiling my kids too much also but now gradually holding back. Making him spending more time at the tuition Centre as well as bringing him to Sunday school.

  3. There are so many of these princes and princess all over ; thinking their parents are billionaires.
    I met a Singaporean businessman a few years ago, he was so proud of his 10 years old kid who can yell at the 2 maids to do dirty chores around the house . He said his kid has " boss DNA " just like him.

  4. Eugene

    This is the ultimate Giving-Too-Much daddy's girl who has 5 Million pounds hotel bills.

  5. Yes don't be rich, give your money to me. Just kidding :)
    It's true I think, that's what happens to a spoil child.
    But sometimes we just dunno the boundary.

  6. Too much help from parents will bring more harm to the kids.

    Just like what the Skin Specialist, Dr Koh said before too. His son committed suicide because of lost in love.

  7. Yes I guess so, we definitely will spoil our kid if shower too much love. They are blessed but they didn't feel thankful and appreciate.

  8. But sometimes we manja our kid without realizing it also...

  9. I think which is absolutely true if we as parents indulged our kids excessively which will spoilt them up circuitously. Furthermore self-awareness also very important when we reach our adulthood.Bro i think is our responsibility to input the right seeds toward our kids during their childhood and hopefully those good seeds will lead them well when them grow up.......

  10. Every parents love their own children. Love our children the right way, is the wisdom we all should have.