Monday, December 12, 2011

Trust is to be earned...................

I would like to share two incidents,just to prove how the thing called "TRUST" is damn f**king important in any relationship, friendship even marriage..............

I had a brief chit-chat with a senior pastor of my church the other day,I was asking him what happened to a sudden "fall out" of a youth pastor in the church, it was like suddenly the youth pastor out of sudden resigned from the church, distant himself from his wife,(okay I am not saying further).

I asked the senior pastor,did he manage to talk to the youth pastor about his "fall out" the senior pastor told me that the youth pastor refused to talk to him..............Ditto (First scenario)

I was having some drinks with a couple of someone very dear to me the other day together with my lovely wife. Out of a sudden, (may be it was a built up frustration or what) the husband suddenly slammed the beer glass on the table then blurted out something like this," So you can talk to the guys on FACEBOOK, and what is all this nonsense..blah blah blah" then he just walked off and I had to send the wife back home instead together with my lovely wife.

Back to the first scenario, I wonder how much "trust" has the senior pastor built between him and his protege ? I really don't know but for one thing that I do know, it would not be so hard for someone to talk to another if there is sufficient amount of sincere cares, love and loads of understanding without judging that eventually builds up to a concrete "trust" that can pull down any walls of separation between two parties concerned.

I am sure everyone wants to be heard, everyone wants to share things with someone but are you the one that someone can "trust" you enough to share his/her problems with? You be the judge.

Now the second scenario, I remember the same guy (I mean the husband who just walked off) once asked me, did it anger or frustrate me if I knew that my wife was chatting with her male friends on FACEBOOK, I told him that I was surely okay with it for the fact that I could trust my lovely wife 101% (no questions asked) he said that I was talking cock.

Seriously,I feel sad for those people who wake up everyday having the ideas that "in this world no one can be trusted" and I feel even sadder that on two accounts that we expect people to trust us where we don't make enough effort to let other trust us, it is so sad,right?

No relationship is going to be a good one where we always harbor those suspicions and when we always look out for the evidence that says," see, I was right,you just can't be trusted" without firstly making ourselves a trustworthy husband, father or even a friend.

At time when my boys told me this,"papa, you said you would come early, see now so late already" I could have raised my voice at them telling them off with something like this," Boys, how can you say like this,papa needs to go out and entertain friends ma, trying to look for new customers, no need to find money ka?"

Instead,I must realize that I had broken the promise,crumbled the "trust" and I have to rebuild that trust .............

Sorry for my long ranting,but seriously I really feel f**king "hot " about this, we never admit of our own flawed mentality, our own "broken promises" instead we keep blaming others...sad,ain't it?

Note : We must also not let others take advantage of our TRUST, we need Trust Smart too

P/S : When I lay down next to her, I know I trust her fully


  1. yes, I totally agree with you bro.. trust is very important..

  2. For me, when we don't trust our spouse, we think very lowly of them. Like they will sleep with every man or woman in the world. How low is that right? I mean, as husband and wife, we support and encourage each other... and in partnership or pure friendship, if we doubt our partners or friends, we are belittling them as if they don't worth anything.

    We must have faith and give the benefit of doubt, after all... everyone is innocent unless proven guilty :)

  3. Trust is one thing but not blind trust.

    Normal chatting is fine but when flirting is involved, one thing can lead to another. The next thing you know, the partner will be requesting for divorce coz found "soul-mate" in FB or whatever even if aftr 10 - 20 years of marriage.

    It's not that once married we are not suppose to chat with the opposite sex but at least a line must be drawn. f already know the man have a wife, at least should avoid situation where the wife with misunderstand.

    Yes, trust have to be earned. how can someone earn their spouse trust if they kept on flirting?

    In my short life I personally come across several cases of friends and family when the wife/husband trust each other then suddenly one day the spouse sat their partner down and tell them " I am sorry. I don't love you anymore. I love so-and-so".

    You have been lucky that you have friend who can be trusted. I have experienced friends who cant be trusted and was taken for a ride. I can forgive if trust is broken 1 or two or three times but I am not a fool to be taken for a ride. There is a limit to my trust.

  4. To me, trust and respect are important elements in every relationship/marriage.

  5. I think my husband trusts me 101% too. He always said, "No one is better than me for you." *blush*

  6. based on my personal experiences, be it friendship or love life...I had come to this conclusion:


    I had my back stabbed so many times, heart broken so many times...because I trusted them and it get me to where I am today.

    I guess maybe I am not lucky to meet people who can be trusted, and still thankful to God that I meet friends whom earned my trust.

    The latest case: I gave my outmost support to this one guy: He came and asked me to support his event. 2 weeks later that bugger appear in the newspaper headlines accusing my brother for defaming him and slap him and Facebook for RM4mil.

    Trust is not to be given easily. It is to be earned and when earned, keep it. Broke it once it's like a broken will never be the same again even though the pieces are glued together.

  7. Aiyor...if my missus so suspicious and jealous, habis me...with all my female mummy blogger-friends.

    I always make sure she knows all of my friends, male and female, so she will not have any cause to feel anything not that desirable. If she does, then she is the one with the problem...not me.

  8. My late Papa said this to me "信用是本錢 xìnyòng shì běn qián". Trust is a life time capital, paramount in biz and in relationship etc.

  9. very sensitive issue, this thing called trust. takes years and many experiences to build, but can be destroyed within seconds. and maybe the youth pastor was having a hard time talking about his problems, not because he doesnt trust his senior.

  10. Trust is very important in all relationships. But I gotta agree with Angel Bear, I don't put 100% trust to anyone because it would backfire me one day.

    Just my 2 cents.

  11. Trust is to be earned. Totally agree with you. But beware, even a lie or "deluded" believe (from others - a third party) can destroy the trust. Have a nice day.

  12. We building our relationship and love based on trust, Eugene. Sometimes you tend to take "trust" for granted but I trust my partner 101% although he did break his promises once a while. You know men, they never can keep in line with times sometimes. *wink*

    Some people take Facebook too seriously. I never really 100% trust those postings on Facebook!! They are just attention seekers.

  13. One of my friends told me before.. Never trust anyone but yourself.. I guess some have been betrayed before and that is why they lose the confidence in trusting another.. they are skeptical already...

  14. Trust is important but then, we cannot blindly put a trust to someone/smoething.

  15. Trust & Respect is earned ...
    Truly agree with you :)
    Too many things happens in this
    world that has shattered the trust among people.

  16. In every relationship, there should be 100% trust from both sides. Love is always followed after by trust.

    As for the husband, he should have not shouted his wife in front of Eugene and wife and should not walked away at all. That he did not give any respect to her at all.

    Maybe, both of them need to understand each other so well.

  17. *vomit blood* You think human can be trusted? Nobody can be trusted. I don't even trust myself. The only thing that can be trusted is God, for only He is faithful.