Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Can we not fight anymore?

You know me and my lovely wife do have our shares of disappointment,anger,frustration and pain in dealing with Jovial who is at the threshold of being a teen at his age of 14, probably he himself does not realize it but in actual fact,he has changed....

He has changed to be more nonchalant to heading our "advice",more headstrong with what he thinks rightly or wrongly, we sometimes(me and missus) would get angry and we do raise our voices at him but he is not at all worried about it....

You know as I have been sharing here in my blog about being a papa,a husband,along the way and in actual fact, I did learn a lot of tips of parenting as well from other bloggers daddy and mommy too......just like what i learned from Arthur, I like it when he says,,"anger begets anger"

Just the other day,while i was ferrying Jovial back from school,casually I told him this,"Jo,can we not fight anymore?" in an instant,he just kept quiet but then he continued by saying this,"Papa,you know when I wake up in the morning,my mood is always no good,so I am sorry if I've made you angry in the mornings"

From then on,whenever I get angry with him, I try to pause for a little while knowing that at his age now,he is caught up of being still a boy and on the other side,trying to be a man,ha, I think I will continue to guide him and nurture him along the way.

And once again,I thank you guys for imparting your experiences to me in way of commenting,do remember that I do wholeheartedly take in your comments seriously for I've always strived to be a better papa.

P/S : Always learning,always understand,that's all I want to be


  1. People always says that kids are more rebellious at that stage, I do agree but the thing is we shouldnt just settle with that fact without actually do anything about it.

    This is the crucial stage where kids trying to develop their own character, style and whats not. I don't think parents should tell kids what to do anymore but learn to be more influential and make the kids wanted to be just like the parents instead.

    Scolding or raising voice wont do any good anymore. Tho I know sometimes its hard to control but we have to realize what the kids sees now is what they will become in the future.

    I'm not a dad nor a parents, but I am a son to a father that I wish he will instead treat me as such as I said when I was at that stage.

    You're a great dad Eugene. Thanks for always be such an inspiration and I hope Jo will notice that =)

  2. You are such a good papa. I remember that when I'm around ur boy's age I will also feel moody in the morning too. Most probably I don have enough sleep and always stress out with exam and homework. One day when he is older and mature enough he will be thankful for ur understanding.

    Don't feel bad (stress) Eugene. You are really a Good Dad!

    Have a nice day =)

  3. true, anger does begets anger in one way or another. When I was really young, my parents always yelled at me and when i grow up as a teenager, i yelled back at them but now, at my quarter of my century age, I realized that both the yelling just won't solve any problems but just making it worst...

  4. The best way to educate kids, I think, is by setting good example.
    Most kids basically pick up after their parents' mannerism and characters.
    There is no point to argue or fight with them. The best way is to ignore their tantrum and continue to enforce your good principles firmly.

  5. There is none so blind as he who will not see and none so deaf as he who will not hear... Anger turns people blind and deaf...and may turn ugly and they will regret it all later when it is too late.

  6. hey Eugene.. you r not alone.. none of my kids talk much in the mornings.. sometimes no response at all and the most is a "ngga" ... in monotones.. so.. to conclude, dont pick up "discussions" in the morning.. it never works.. wait till after a fresh shower.. then it will be different..

  7. Yeah, I sure hv learnt a lot frm Arthur!

    Your boy is an awesome lil guy, more patience and love and I'm sure he wil bloom beautifully one day!

  8. You know, parenting is the most difficult role in the universe - and it gets tougher when they get older. At the same time, parenting is also not for cowards (do check out that book if you have time). It is a journey filled with joy, happiness untold, fulfilment and yet punctuated with hurts, pain, disappointments - all of which are healed when our kids tell us "Mom/Dad...I love you. Thanks for ..."

    Ironically, our kids (even when they are old, married and parents themselves- although I have yet to reach that stage) will always be our 'kids' in our hearts.

    I have had my own share of tears and pain but through it all, I am thankful that He saw us through...the way He has been guiding and blessing you and your wife, Eugune. Suffice to say, our Father knows what a great dad/husband/friend/son you are. :-)

    Take care and may He continue to direct your paths and be the mediator for you and yours.

    Shalom to you, my friend

  9. I think this is what we so-called rebellious..I'm a student,but I know that, all parents are hope that our child will be obey.All parent will felt that kids are a kids even he/she get married and have their own family.
    Uncle you are a perfect papa, I know that some a days Jo will know your selfless love for him.

  10. It's ok. This is just a phrase. But with your proper guidance, am sure your son won't take the wrong path. U r already a good papa.

  11. well, parenting is a whole new adventure for us.

  12. Eugene,
    Paula sum it so well. so nothing for me to add
    cheers bro. you got a long way to go.

  13. I think you are right that Jovial himself is in a confusion stage, sometimes the hormone is taking control of it. It is just a phase. Continue to love the children unconditionally, they will understand you.

  14. It's not easy to raise a child moreover your Jovial already a teenage boy. We have been a teenage before and we did fight with our parent for our point of view, disagreement & etc. But I can see you have a close relationship with your boy. Continue shower him with your love, nurture him and I'm sure he won't lost in track.

  15. Eugene, have you ever watch the Cosby Show by Bill Cosby. Be patience.

  16. feel like giving you the papa of the year award bro. Awesome!

  17. Our boys are the same age...and portray the same trait. Well, not only pregnant mothers have morning sickness, teenage kids also have another type of "morning sickness" --- sick of talking in the morning!!!

  18. I almost have brought up my younger brother (our mother dies when he was 5) and have seen him through these stages. He is a big boy of 20 now and even now, I see a little kid in him! At times, I have to tell myself to let go and take it easy... at other times, I have to pull the reins to make him see the point. Guess it's like that with boys growing up. :)

    Though I am sure, you are a wonderful father and your children will come off their mood swings soon. Just a phase :)