They say this is part and parcel being a father, they say this is how it should be or must be for a 14 years old boy"acting nonchalantly,rebelliously and acting cool"
May be they say he is just like me,"like father,like son" hard headed and obstinate but this is exactly i find it hard at times to deal with the syndrome of "like father like son."
We are on "cold-zone" for the pass three days and because "like father like son" he thinks okay, "if you are not talking, neither am i" so it was silent lunch yesterday,there was no chatting like we used to....................
I feel that i should make the my stance clear, i reckon he should see his problems with umpteen times of reminders and i believe he should lose his privileges when certain instructions were not followed....................................that's what i believe as father but can he see like what i see ?
Suddenly, out of sudden i feel like i am a lousy dad, it has always been my motto of " settle all problems before the sun goes down" and i am not practicing what i preach..........
Should i give in again out of love or should i stick to my gun till he gets the message?
P/S : The angst of a father when words are not spoken
Don't beat yourself up too much over this. You're doing a great job and kids normally throw silent treatment tantrums like this every so often.
ReplyDeleteMy boy does the same when he argues with his mom. He shouts, stomps his feet and runs to his room slamming the door shut for hours on end.
When he's done with his sulking, he'll come around to being his usual bratty self again :D
So, don't worry, things will get back to normal soon.
No doubt like father like son, but you are a matured man, and he is still a young teenager. Not giving in, but telling out how you feel to him. He can see you at the end.
ReplyDeleteOoo that age...
ReplyDeleteWell, I don't have kids of my own so I don't know much. I think I'll just say in short...
You should give in but bring your gun with you... and make sure it's not loaded. Or better to say, bring a water gun that looks like a real gun so he'll at least be more disciplined. Blah wat am ai talkin lol.
;)
Well, I don't have the privilege to be scolded by my daddy since kindergarten but still, I think I did okay during my childhood. He passed away a long time ago.
Start first.. do not have to wait.. i will be more stressful if i wait too long.. like the cantonese saying.. moe kat yeh sau..
ReplyDeleteDont hold overnight grudges.. hahaha... not to worry, all will be well and back to normal..
I think everyone goes through the phase your son goes. Don't stop communication. He will eventually knows your good intention one day.
ReplyDeleteI'm not saying to give in out of love, just do you think the best for both.
Gambatte!
Depends on what happened. If he's right and you're wrong, you must be man enough to admit it and apologise. Fathers are humans - not always right. Sometimes when angry or in a foul mood, we may cross the line of reasoning... Remember - violence begets violence. And sometimes, we may not see correctly from our point of view - need to talk and consider all angles.
ReplyDeleteWARNING: Our time and now, not the same anymore - last time, the cane rules! Growing boys today need a lot more love, care and attention...especially teenagers - once you lose them, you would have lost them forever.
I can see you are a very good father. Perhaps you can get your wife's help. She can explain to your son on how you feel, and may convey your son's thought to you too. Sometimes when my 14 year old boy feels that his dad is too strict on him, I will help to explain and that will make him feel better.
ReplyDeletetake him out and talk to him..
ReplyDeleteI guess this comes with the territory. There's never right or wrong, just follow your heart bro
ReplyDeleteFather and son should not have 隔夜仇 géyè chóu..
ReplyDelete