Thursday, August 19, 2010

I still have this problem

Not a very good day for me yesterday,nothing serious but it was kind of emotional drain for me.It all started with me, then with him and finally with her.

So let start with me, not feeling too well yesterday,having some headache,may be it was due to the erratic weather condition.

Now let begin with him, him is my wonderful Marvell, picked him up from school about 4,with the intention of getting myself some rest but instead i was told by Marvell's teacher that he'd vomitted twice and he looked frail and tired.

So let sum it all up with her, her is my lovely wife. She called at about 5,asked if i could go running with her, i said no and telling her that Marvell was not well and vomitted.

She came back, the first thing she told me was something like this,"sorry forgot to tell you, i have got dinner tonight, my collegue from KL arrival 8 and dinner at 8.30" I asked her if it was important for her to go, her answer was ambiguous.

Didn't know why her answer gave me uneasy feeling and i got kind of mad not at her but primarily with myself, so at night as i was tugging in my two wonderful boys to sleep, i was thinking and was thinking hard.

It is fuuny sometimes, i should have told her what i wanted to tell her but i chose not to and rather had my anger overwhelmed me and showing my sour face to her, or may be i was presuming that she knew why i was angry and she did not react the way that i expected.

I should have said to her nicely something like this," can you say "No' to your collegues because your son is sick" or she can even excuse herself from the last minute invite by saying that she had other things to attend to but i did not do all that, instead i got angry.

Funnier still, after having married to this wonderful wife of mine for 14 years, i still have communication problem with her......................now i know this

P/S : Presumption will sometimes leads to destruction



25 comments:

  1. I guess thats how men are wired. We tent to keep things for ourself and we expect the ladies to 'know' what we want, especially when you are already in a very long relationship. We forgot that they are not a mind reader. I believe that in a healthy marriage, couple should learn to be able to speak their mind to one another, and by that one could learn even more about the other.

    Keeping your mouth zip is not going to solve anything but instead it will only make matter worse for your own self =)

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  2. Take it easy Eugene..
    I hope things are fine for you today..
    Take care!

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  3. Hmm... experienced this before. I was angry of him, but he didn't even know what's wrong. And better still having the wrong guessing. So, I tell him what's my expectation and I got to see what's expected. :)
    Just tell her. Reason being, if you didn't, she won't be knowing or get the wrong interpretation.
    So, just tell. When the other party understands, they know how to react.

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  4. u know eugene, i hv this problem with hubs too, that i pent up my feelings and jst pull a long face, or let out negative vibes (as he call it) and talk angrily but not really telling him what's bugging me. and sometimes, when i tell him what's bugging me, it comes out in a different tone and then... argument! arrrghhh...

    true what u say, we jst assume that our spouse should understand us or read our mind.

    well, u're a good hub and a good daddy... hope u manage to get some good rest last night, and feeling better today.

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  5. I opined otherwise though....

    If I were in Eugene situation, perhaps I would not tell what is in my mind too. Because I expect my partner to know what is going on after seeing something wrong with me (if he/she is observant enough). Afterall, the unique relationship in marriage in that, you understand each other without need to telling it out, that makes the different between your soul mate and any Tom Dick Harry out there. That's the very special heart to heart bonding in a couple in love. No doubt communication is important, but there are time we need our partner to understand us more than anybody else, don't we?

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  6. Perhaps you could ask her to read your blog.

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  7. yeah! Didn't she read your blog? By the way, I am an opened book. When Happy, I will bla bla bla and laugh, when angry, I will also bla bla bla and scold. My husband is lucky right? He has no need to guess at all.

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  8. I think we ladies know .. when men put on sour face or keep quiet, we know something is not right.. hahahaa..
    im sure even when she went out last night, she felt it and might not enjoy the evening..but due to commitments, she had to go.. anyway, hope your son is ok now..

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  9. I enjoy reading my dear husband's blog. He is great... I try my best to be a good wife.....tks.
    B.regards
    Fm phobee

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  10. Children are always sick... I'm sure she does not go out with friends for dinner all the time. You can take care of your son, what's the problem? In a relationship, must give breathing space... Otherwise, will get choked to death! Don't you go boozing with friends pretty often? If son so very sick, hospitalised...that's another story. I'm sure she would not want to go if that was the case.

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  11. my hub reads my blog, so when i used to blog about my unhappiness he knows. Now i only kept quiet when i am angry and i can say he is more confused than ever. Be open and tell out what u feel... I am married for.. err i forgot how long edi but i am still like u have communication with my hub too

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  12. Well...roller coaster huh! :D Never mind, let it sink.

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  13. My husband too, most of the time due to commitments, he still go ahead with his plans even when my boy or myself are sick but he will call home and check on us several times before he comes home with some take aways.:P

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  14. I hope both of you have settled down...and I believe that you are a good communicator...so express everything out dear...

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  15. Both me and my husband has less night entertainment. And that is his style to let me know his appointment in the very last minutes. Sometimes I have no time for hair done at salon or proper makeup just because of his special"款"...I always convince myself that I can take care of myself and my son by alone. And so as him, and he should!. Well,退一步海阔天空. But, please don't "expect" or "assume". Please talk to her nicely without black face. Hope everything are find for you.

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  16. agree with many comments, just say it out and straight to the point . Say is easy la, but come to real, sometime is hard to tell also face to face, i had this problem sometime . me and my hub is a diam diam type one... so sometime we rather keep to ourself, but i think is no good lor ... once meletup sure very "hard" hahhahahah :P

    cheer up !!

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  17. quite a typical situation for a married couple, after all men are from mars, women war from venus right ? Not ?

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  18. i think nothing wrong with her going out with friend to eat because you are at home looking at your children. its not like she is neglecting her children right ? she can't simply cancel her plan last minute...

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  19. *snort* Bro... sometimes ah... men oso do wud ur wife did wud... when men do that... why women tarak complain pun?

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  20. Often we assume that our other half knows what we're thinking, but in fact they don't. We have to tell them what's on our mind to avoid conflicts. If you dislike something, say so. If you like something, say so too.

    So, brother, not only talk but communicate... speak your mind. Your children will learn to communicate too when they see their parents communicating.

    No need to fight la. Just say nicely enough. At least your spouse knows what you're thinking.

    - Cheers :)

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  21. There Eugene, Phobee has already made her appearance here so no worries, she knows what is in your mind. You guys have it good.. with your love and her understanding, you guys will only get better :)

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  22. The wife has spoken and professed her love and support,you are the greatest husband. Let the matter rest. Do not invoke this issue anymore,sensationalizing your private affairs, true or not, to gain readership, is bad taste.

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  23. ur wifey is here! i think it takes time to get to know each other better. we never stop right? im sure u n ur lovely wife sure understand each other more day by days. :)

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  24. Thank you guys for the comments

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  25. i thk.... you down mood effected everything in your surrounding too. the easiest and simplest will tick you.

    i bet when you are writing it, you see it clearer and wonder how best to handle it... hemm... i guess blogging does one good.

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