Wednesday, August 18, 2010

After 27 years.........................

Actually this is an impromtu post, didn't plan to write this for sharing but i thought it was kind of funny and a bit of thought provoking as far as marriage, affair, children and divorce was concerned, so here goes.......................

Met an old school mate over a coffee break, have not been seeing her for a long time now, married and with two wonderful children. As usual men and women our age, usually the topic of conversation would be revolving about family and marriage. She was sharing a story about her uncle and his 27 years old affair whose second woman happened to be his wife's old friend.

Her uncle is about 61 years old already, may be what people say is true, when we are old, we tend to see things differently and we tend to come to our senses and trying to make amends with those we have short changed, neglected or even forsaken and that's exactly what my friend's uncle did.

After 27 years, he openly admitted to his wife that he had been having an affair with her old friend and he intended to bring the second woman to Penang (she was in KL) and even he even told his legitimate wife that there was no need for her to divorce him for he was kind of sure that their children would object to it.

After 27 years, he felt that he had been neglecting her all these years, not spending enough time with her and she was most of the time alone in KL and she never whined about it and now he felt that it was time to repay her, therefore he blatantly asked his wife to accept his intention.

After 27 years, the legitimate wife did not even realize that her husband second woman was her old friend, the one even attended their wedding and the husband revealed that the secret liaison started when he was near bankcrupt and that woman happend to his white knight.

After 27 years, the wife was devastated and indeed she wanted a divorce but it was funny enough the children objected it and according to my old school mate the children did what they did because they knew the content of the 61 years old man's content of the WILL.

After hearing my good old friend's story, spur of the moment i asked her these three questions from a lady's point of view.

1) Would it make any difference to her if the husband admits to his affair as compared to her finding out by herself?

2) Would it make any difference if the affair is 27 months old or 27 years old ?

3)Would it make any difference if the "accomplish" is of a stranger as compared to your old friend?

P/S : What if God never gave us conscience.................


  1. to me, it does not matteer if the affair was 27months old or 27 years old, because a thief is still a thief for stealing a chocolate bar, or RM1mil. Therefore, an adulterer is still an adulterer, a sin is still a sin.

    As for friend or stranger, yes that made a HUGE difference. It's betrayal at two ends, and very very sad. Men... why oh why? Women who take other ppl's husband should be stoned!

  2. Is he loaded?? if he is filthy rich, then divorce is not necessary.. hahaha.. just speaking from an older lady point of view..

  3. There is a difference leh...more hurtful especially when comes out from the donkey's mouth and having been dupe for 27 yrs. Moreover it's mutual friend.

  4. very interesting story to share with us..=)

  5. Agree with Claire. What has done cannot be reversed. Since she's 27 years behind and has been sharing her husband with her old friend, might as well share the $$. Haha...

    Well, I'm just another outsider - Talk is easier than done. It's really depend on individual.

  6. AngeLBeaR's nicest words:
    i feel for the wife. It really felt as if someone had shot her head, twice - one from her husband, the other is from her own friend.

    AngeLBeaR's bad words:
    I hope the old geezer died soon so everyone is in peace.

    sorry for my language.

  7. 好狐狸,坏狐狸,主动的狐狸,被动的狐狸。。。拨了那层皮,它还是狐狸。。。“我接受唔到咯~~”

  8. All I can say is I hope my situation will not be 'burst' out after 27 years later... :p

  9. Why u didnt tell us, what did the children found out the will???? and their opinions? on their adulterous father such low as foot? she as a white knight does it mean he has to be having affairs with her all those while?

  10. Sometimes, if hubby has an affair, have to see the reason why... Is it because the hubby is gatal type - then who asked the wife so buta, did not see and went to marry him? Or is there a problem with the wife, the disappointed hubby went looking for someone else? Or forced arranged marriage, the hubby actually loved somebody else? Susah lah these things. so many angles to look at them - best thing is...DO NOT JUDGE and we will not be judged...and pray that our own marriages will be happy and for better or for worse, till death do we part!

  11. Just becos she became his white knight when he went bankrupt does not give him the excuse to start the affair let alone continue it for 27 long years! At most is he can consider her a very very good friend only, that's all, nothing more than that. Yes, i agree with Reanaclaire, if he is filthy rich, than tak usah divorce becos it's more practical that way.

  12. hmm no comment cz not yet married n never encounter such situation but i think i agree with claire! haha n of course i dnt hope that its happen on me! and yea totally agree with STP!!

  13. i think i will sue, sue for shame, sue for physiological damage etc and be rich. mwahaha. just kidding.

    well, i think i will only know when that happen to me..

  14. My answers to all your 3 questions

    1. No different.
    2. No different.
    3. No different.

    To all above situations, my reaction is quite typical one.

    Mad, scream, scold, beat (may be), sad, calm down, think, and settle it.

  15. If having an affair is the way to repay someone, i think many of us will be an adulterer, including becoming GAYS and LESBIANS. It's just an excuse... a cheat is a cheat, nevermind its 27 months or 27 years. If I'm her, I'll get a divorce and get the money rightfully mine now. No need to see more bollywood between those two.

  16. Having an affair quietly for 27 years is NOT funny, so to speak.

    Nevertheless, that man was bold to admit though it too all his balls to do that. It's a good thing his wife didn't castrate him (if he has been having sex with the other woman), and it's also a good thing they're still together... hopefully.

    Nice post, bro.

  17. If I am that woman, I will not divorce my husband. Under the law, she's the lawful wife. When he dies, she has the rights to all his assets. C'mon, after all these years of faithfulness to this pisang?? She's entitled to his all.

    To the other woman, she jolly knew he's a married man 27 years ago and she should know what not to expect from this married man. If she is smart, she should have digged into his pocket before he sells duck eggs.

    It's such a shame that man needed to rely on another woman other than his wife during his down moments. Isn't marriage is all about respect and discussions in the first place? Forget about love and communication because these both should be in placed from the beginning of the marriage. Both parties should have discussed and made a decision together instead of one making it and sorta "put the blame" on a situation to come because of infidelity.

    If he's poor, then she should divorce him. What's the point of having responsibilities over the debt he incurred during his happy times with his mistress when he pass on. Better safe than sorry.

  18. Wow! First of all, the torment of the guy for doing this to his wife and to the mistress. Secondly, how painful for the wife. Thirdly, if you no longer love someone, you should respect that person and let him/her know and separate before starting another relationship. Nobody wants to be cheated on.

  19. Thank you guys for the comments,,,appreciate it

  20. I wonder if the reverse were to have happened, what would the husband do. I feel for the wife living in a shroud of her husband's infidelity for 27 years! And double whammy too. Sad..

  21. Btw, Eugene, that's a nice picture of your beautiful family on the masthead.