Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Teen's late nights,,,,wrong or right?

Imagine this, your teen child asking for your permission that he wanted to loaf with his friends at the mamak store, high ends coffe shops the likes of Coffee Beans or Starbucks till late nights, what would your reactons be... " no you cant go, it is very dangerous, you might just get shot in the head" " you might be the innocent victim should there be a gang fight" or " you might be waylaid to the back lane and get robbed or even get killed" so you just cant go out late at night.

Then your teen child said," but dad i am 16 now, i know what i do and i will be responsible for my own safety, and my friend's parents are all right with them hanging out, why can't you respect me and trust that i will know what is right and what is wrong and it is only the camaraderie that i enjoy with my buddies, i wont take drug, i wont booze"

This brings me to one request that was made by my wonderful Jovial to me yesterday, he told me today he would invite his friend over to his house, and after which he asked if it was all right for him and his friend to walk to another friend's house to do some school project.

I was apprehensive at first and kind of reluctant to give in to his request, i shared with him my fears ( about less 2 km walk from my house to his friend's house) i tried to dissuade him, but i could see the eagerness of him trying to so called venture out. He told me he knew what to do and asking me to trust him that he would take care of himself.

Reluctantly, i gave in to him and telling him that i respected his choice but he must learn to take responsibility like calling me when he got out of the house, and calling me again as soon as he reached his friend's house.

I know inadvertently, there will come a time, when my boys are into their teen, doing the teen stuffs, as much as i care for them, i reckon i must in a way trust that they know exactly to tell the difference between the rights and the wrongs, till then i must start teaching the rights and telling them the wrongs.

To me it would not be nice to keep "policing " on them .

As A parent what do you think?

P/S : Rudimentary, Respect is the key, i reckon

21 comments:

  1. going for one or two cups of coffee is better than to pub,disco,slot machine club...good to held a small party at home once a while, to know who is his best friends...well, we can't lock him at home...anyway, I try to read more news to my 5 years old son, just to let him know whats happening out there...

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  2. oh ya, my parents have that request of 'calling home' as and when we were out even till now.. maybe just to ensure that we are safe and 'sound'...

    I think it's time to let him 'out' for a while, and so he don't get too 'excited' of the freedom.

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  3. Trust! If you have brought up your kids well, they can do know wrong...and they will even tell you if they see their friends going in the wrong directions. And teach them to always respect themselves...and they will not stray from the right path. But I would always ask my daughter to sms me...once she's got back to her hostel/apartment safely. You'll never know - anything can happen outside no matter how good they are.

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  4. Letting go of our kids is hard especially how overprotective we can be as parents. Their safety is our priority. Being a parent means making difficult choices that may not be popular with our kids but we are their parents not friends. I tell my teenage son, "no going out at night. Curfew is 6pm." Rule is firm not exception.

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  5. oh dear.. when i was younger, my parents let me do anything i wish.. but now.. i dunno if i'm able to let ethan do the same! horror.. how how?

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  6. if u given ur child enough trust they will respect it.like wat my parents did..we were allowed to go out but do not abuse the trust if not..kaw kaw lah kena marah..

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  7. It's real tough to check on them. Cannot be too loose and cannot be too tight... I will face this problem 10 yrs down the road.

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  8. I will report to my parents no matter where I go. :)

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  9. Of course I thing it is not advisable because it will become a bad habit. :(

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  10. my parents will not let me go anywhere unless they r d one who send n pick me again. :) but am lucky dat im not dat type of girl who always wanna go out yumcha with frens. haha.i always spent time with my close fren, my parents and her parents are close too, so whenever we go out, its either follow my parents or her parents. :)

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  11. but very obvious dat, my parents trust guys more than gals in the house. or maybe dey just being over protective towards us as their daughters. :) guys got no limit time when dey hang out with their buddies, but us, will get calls or text for every half an hour. it worse when it almost late night, it will increase like every 15minutes. lol

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  12. my girl does that once awhile esp during school hols..but i make sure she doesnt walk.. i drive her there or some other parents do it.. no walking, no taking public transport... otherwise, cannot go.. :)

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  13. my dad used to tell me you wanna do. go and do. but if anything happen dun come and look for me. So we never go out to any birthday party, no late nights. Nuthing. so sien....

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  14. with the current lawlessness, parents have a logical sense of caution when it comes to their childrens' safety. I think it'lll be good to instill a sense of "reporting" by the kids, to let us know that their location and safety. ;)
    +Ant+

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  15. Well done. My parents would never let me go out late at night. Only during college days I was allowed out at night but had to come back by 12 a.m. Those were the days :)

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  16. Those were the days when young people venture into late nights without worrying our parents.

    I remembered my parents will to got to parties when I'm only 13. I was allowed to mix freely and my parents trusted me.

    Brother, I know that you are worry about Jovial, just learn to trust him.

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  17. LOL! You are such an awesomely cool dad! Oh yes, when you think it's time to "let go", please do!

    However if I were you, I would insist to drive my kids to their friends' house... by giving an excuse that I afraid they would get heat stroke due to this steamy hot weather! :p

    Have a nice day to you!

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  18. Jovial have your son for so long and surely he have some of your good sense.

    Time to let loose a bit of rope..not for him to hang himself hahaha but rather let him have a bit of freedom.

    Just remind him to call you at a certain time.

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  19. Really hard to tell sometimes. Maybe depends on where they go actually. But hard to judge.

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  20. sad to say, there has to be a day when we have to let go :(

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  21. It is ok for me but must report back to parent. If possible, i think better meet up his friend during daytime - nowaday, it is not safe to go out so late at night - police will kill u la.... correct?

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