1 ) Can you spend the rest of your life with someone who always thinks that he/she is right and who always belittle your effort and he/she is not game at all to hear you out not even brief ones?
2) Can you still continue in a business venture with someone who always thinks that he/she can come our with better ideas than you and he/she never consults you for any major decision, and you feel that you are being alienated?
3)How can you tell your parents that the monthly allowance that you give them is the best that you can do, and yet they feel that you are lying?
A good friend cum my general insurance agent faces the problem as stated in (1), her husband seems so obstinate that my friend's ideas and opinions are never even once considered, untill she found out that the husband has defaulted on the housing loan over 4 months now and other problems and the husband is still adamant that he can get things fixed.
The problem as stated in (2) comes from my old school mate, he too feels helpless at the behaviour of his business partner who always thinks that he is so good and never consult him for any opinions. Sadly, some of the major decisions that his partner made have been a blunder.
And i am facing the problem of no 3, she got a bit upset with me for the monthly allowance that i give her and the problem is that that's the best i can do...as for this case, sometimes i am damn tired .......
P/S : To be or not to be, sometimes it just can be up to me.
everyone has sets of problems in their lives, just focus on urs and do ur best out of it :)
ReplyDeleteAs the saying goes. Do our best to be the solution. :D If a particular problem is totally out of our circle of influence, then just focus on ourself. :)
ReplyDeleteHmm.. for (1) I guess mostly guys are like this but they never admit it. Sometimes they do, but still happened. Need a lot of facts to prove to them to convince. (2)again, i guess it's the egoism of a guy. (3) show her your balance sheet if needed to. Again, CONVINCE with proof.
ReplyDelete1) No
ReplyDelete2) No
3) cant do anything as the old folks once got that in theymind, they wont believe even if you swear on a Bible. Just continue to try your best lo.
1) I cant
ReplyDelete2) I cant
3) show my salary slip and monthly expenses to them..hehee
oh... i m blessed to have her .. she never asks me for money and when i do give her, she always tolak.. no need to show her my payslip.. :)
ReplyDeletemmm,...may be you tell your old folks that you need to save some for " lau pun" also.usually their first reaction they 'd say," ngo choy,ngo choy !! so young wanna save for "lau pun" !" later on,they'll keep silent and then,...in their quiet moments,they'd ponders over what you told them just now - about your "lau pun" also.i think may be this would works for you.
ReplyDeletei only hv my mum. she stays with me and my husb gives her monthly allowance.
ReplyDeleteLOL... no wonder this world is so "off balance", everyone should practice a mutual "give and take" relation... in reality it's totally "hopeless"! :p
ReplyDeleteOh dear, your problem is one that needs to be tread on very gently. The thing about asians is, we are born with filial piety and have this massive responsibilty to fulfill. But we can only do so much and hope for the best. Hopefully you will reach some sort of understanding soon. In the meantime, all the best XXX
ReplyDelete1. I think many old-fashioned Chinese men have this 'disease'.
ReplyDelete2. The only solution I can think of is to break off from this business partnership. Ya, I know, easy to say, but this can get complicated when the calculations start.
3. I really cannot understand the mindset of old folks (becos I personally have such experience and encounter with difficult old people). The only solution I can think of is to turn a blind ear to their nagging/harassment/complains. But I know sometimes it's difficult to totally don't bother what they say. So what I'll do is to continue giving the same monthly allowance that she is complaining about, but minimize contact and/or communication with her, i.e., visit her less often.