Tuesday, September 08, 2009

I am kind of jaded................

I have 4 other siblings, one older brother, 2 older sisters and one younger sister, i have always been very sentimental towards brother and sisterhood, i have tried to do what i could to strengthen the bond among the siblings, i have failed and i am tired of trying now.

For so many years, none of my siblings would ask me how i was doing, if i was doing all right or not, how's my family or how am i doing financially, never would they ask. And i will always be the one to be so concerned about them.

I am not asking for sympathy, my wife knows me very very well, she knows that i would always put my family (the one of my siblings) first, i would be willing to be the first to extend my help to anyone of them,no matter how difficult it was for me but i am tired now.

I am practically not closed to any of my siblings, i really dont know why, may be it could be my expectation is different from theirs, they are all right on superficial level but not me, so now i am feeling kind of jaded......

I can remember anyone's of their birthday,i could send them wishes, but none of them could at least do a little for me.

Thank god for blogging, because i just had a little row with my mother over the same issue, i am glad there i can rant it here, and having you listening to my grouses, thank you.

Q)Do you have any serious sibling feud?

P/S : Please understand me,,,,,,,,,,,,


  1. strange is it tat we sometimes are closer to ppl we didnt have blood ties with....but i do hope things will change for better in the future but if it doesnt, you still have your own family :)

  2. I am sorry to hear this.. Me myself.. asking 'WHY????'... But grateful to know you are taking care of them... 1 day they will realize about that... hopefully!! ^_^

    keep taking care of each other... ^_^

  3. I think this is quite common among bigger families, siblings... even in my own family, we have our clashes at times, but as i said, humility is important.. as long as one starts calling back the other, the relationship will be restored...
    Well, eugene, i understand how u feel, u want to have the family bonding but the others are not making any effort... i m sure they will realise it one day.. meanwhile, just live yr own life with yr family.. and pray..

  4. on my wife's side, have a big problem with her siblings, and i cant image what will happened next, i event have a heart attack becos of it, the last thing i could think, to take my wife away from her family, so that we could live happily ever after, if not otherwise

  5. hehe...luckily I and siblings are great. Though not very close. But we still contact each other specially the girls. We still do exchange birthday wishes. Dont give up. ONe day they will realise your love for them. :-)

  6. Hmmmm.....I'm not sure why Eugene. But if you try really, really hard enough then things will work out eventually. You mustn't give up. Because blood is thicker than water. :)

    Me and my bro have been brought up to love and care for each other by my late mum. And I believe our strong bond will last.

    Perhaps you could try a little harder? All the best bro. :)

  7. In a family,we would start a fight, bickering on lil things or start pinching one another for no reasons...but the wonderful thing is,after all that bickering & quarelling...we somehow can put them aside & pretend nothing happened & start laughing again.

    Even we feel theres no closeness, their still love inside. Maybe they dont ask abt ur day...but i trully think they will not hesitate to give a hand when ur down. even so...Hope there will be that closeness in the future!

  8. life's like that. have less expectations, then we'll be happier. meanwhile continue to care for your siblings, as that's the natural you. one way they'll appreciate your caring for them. cheer up :)

  9. life's like that. have less expectations, then we'll be happier. meanwhile continue to care for your siblings, as that's the natural you. one way they'll appreciate your caring for them. cheer up :)

  10. I have only 1 sibling,
    have no feud but no close bond either..

    My mom n dad each has 8 siblings and you might wanna try what we do every month to maintain the bond.. ARISAN
    I don't know the English word haha,

    But the point is to meet up every month, have a meal, chat, catching up.
    Only once a month, and it'll be a start for y'all :)

  11. sorry to hear this..
    lucky for myself..

    my siblings and I are hanging out pretty well.. ^_^
    I think it's all my mum's contribution.. she always emphasize on how we should keep in touch with out siblings since we were very small until now..

    my mum made a really great example for us to follow as well, because of her, we are pretty closed with our mother's cousins.. ^_^

    but for father's side cousin.. I don't even know any of my cousins' names, because no one bothers to keep contact, and my father is the one kept visitng them and forced us to follow.

    But everytime we visiting them, no one bothers to talk to us nor entertain us. =.="

    一个巴掌拍不响,both sides need to take effort maintaining to make the relationship strong.

  12. I always thought that my relationship with my siblings (Like you, there are 5 of us with 3 girls and 2 boys.) was warm and close knit but our relationship really came to the test when we had to start taking care of an aged dad with dementia. Then sadly, the true colors showed.....

  13. Looks like eventually every family siblings go through this ordeal in life... I wonder why... I don't know about my, but me and my siblings barely talk either... of course we do remember each others birthday :). So that is something good at least.

    All the best to you, Eugene. I can't give much words of wisdom since my isn't all perfect too.

  14. I am the youngest in my family. Got other 3 siblings, they all elder than me about 11, 12 & 13 years old such a big age differences. So each times they quarrel i normally just lay back and lazy to fight between them because even i am correct, none of them will listen to me also, because they might think that i am the youngest for them it is very pointless to listen a youngest sister. Sounds sad right? But so far everything now seem to be alright. Sometimes i prefer sibling quarrel at least they can show that they are care for each other =)

    I think when we get older, we will slowly realize that brothers & sisters are very hard to find outside. No one can substitute anyone. Because in the outside world we never find the same blood type, surname and parents etc. As long as we treasure the relationship with them i think someday they might find out..... =)

  15. I am close to my sisters!
    But I have yet to be close with my husband's siblings. I need to jia you! I donno why, but I feel like being treated as an outsider in his family... T__T

  16. my own family okay but my wife's side got sibling feud becoz of not-proportional-given properties and monies when the parents died.

  17. well, there are 8 siblings in my family. we are ok eventhough not very close.

  18. They say blood runs thicker than water...but not necessarily true. Some friends are better than one's own siblings...like me! Hehehehehe!

  19. don't worry, eugene, nor get too upset ok? as long as you do your part, then your duty is done. don't put too much 'heart' into it. not meaning do with no heart, but protect your heart when doing good. know what i mean?
    good man can sleep well at night.
    that is the most important thing.

  20. eugene..see how many good frens u have? sometimes we cannot please everybody all the time... we have to accept that...
    oh, though my siblings and i are ok ok, i cannot remember their actual birthdays.. month can.. actual date, i cannot.. now u remind me, i must write them down.. my poor memory is giving me away...

  21. my brother and I are not close. we don't fight or have sibling rivalry but we're just not like other siblings who share lots and lots. we've been like this since young and my mum always said maybe my brother and i have no 'yuan' (chinese people will understand what this word means, it's hard to explain in English)... but at least his children do make me birthday cards and i love that so perhaps things aren't that bad between us.. we are just too busy with our own lives i guess...

    you seem very happy with your own little family... so if you've tried all you can with your extended family and still things don't change, you just have to accept things the way they are. it's their loss not yours.

  22. siblings and i are okay =)
    we bully each other at times.. haha..


  23. My parents both come from big family with many siblings, while I only has one brother, so I am very close to him emotionally. I don't know how it's like to have many siblings until I am exposed to my late hubs' siblings - 7 of them, my brother and sisters in law. They are very very close as a family, and it boiled down to the matriach of the family, my mother in law. I firmly believe, that the mother plays a very important role in bringing the family together.

  24. i m "close" to my siblings as a responsibility... cos i dont want 20-30 yrs down the road..we are strangers..I m taking EFFORT...hope it will pay off

  25. I only have 1 elder brother and we are not close. But we are seeing each other quite often and we celebrate Father's Day, Mother's Day and any birthday of the family members together. I had a big fight with him few months back and that made me changed my view on him. I was so disappointed. But he's still my brother.