Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Would you forgive a dying man?

When he was doing ok, his nights were spent in the consort of other women, his money was splurged more on other women than his own family. He told you to be just a wife because he was giving you enough monthly allowance and he hardly took concern on his only child. For so many years, he had been like this.

Then when he was in his 50s, he was struck with cancer with one kidney removed, suddenly he felt that he really needed a family to fall upon, a wife to look after him and you as a wife, for so many years suddenly feeling happy for the lost sheep has finally come back to the fold. You shouldered upon yourself the responsibility of taking this husband of yours in the best ways that you could, you endured his mood swing, you gag your own frustration, you swallowed his chauvinistic behaviour, all for the love you have for him.

For the following 2 years, he was slowly recovering from cancer and soon enough he was declared so called free from cancer and he was getting fitter, and that's when your second heartache began. He was once again, back to his mischief, his philandering lifestyles and his promiscuity took centre stage. He began to lie to you, giving you the excuses that he should be enjoying the remaining of his life.

He took his girlfriend for overseas trips instead of you, soon enough you found out that this leopard truly cannot change its spots, and again you were tossed back to the suffering that you once went through. It was the suffering for another 3 or 4 years, the suffering that you were so numbed to, the pain that was so insignifacant to you anymore.

Just when this old man thought that he really had the best of his remaining years, thing took a unkind twist, his cancer came back, the relapse this time was so serious that doctor told him that he had only a few months to live and this time he almost lost all of his girlfriend, so like the last time he came back to you. He was truly in the state of excruciating pain and torture from the dreaded cancer.

Would you forgive a dying man, who had hurt you so much, who had put you in total oblivion when he was doing OK, who had once thought that to supply you with monthly allowance that denied you the right to question him and his philandering lifesytles?

Probably this friend of mine had amassed such a good karma in his previous life, his wife is still tendering him. Would you do the same if you were HER?

P/S : They say " Through health and sickness, through poor and riches" where were you when you had it GOOD?


  1. I think I will. And I will take it as paying him back what I owed him in my previous life.

  2. A dramatic script.

    Actually if a wife stays with such an ostentatiously cheating, womanizing husband of hers all her life, there is hardly a reason to leave him in his dying days.

    But the fictitious lady of your story should have done what my wife doubtlessly would have done if I'd been that man; my wife would have send me packing after the first, well maybe second, breach of the vow. Probably she also would send me away with a suitable goodbye. For instance words like: "F... off, you worthless bastard".

  3. this is not a fictitious story, right Eugene? true life one?
    anyway, i dont know what to think.. depends on how deep i love him that it overcome all odds.. but on the other hand, i might be like colson's wife.. "Get out of my life!"
    but the lady u mentioned in yr post.. maybe this is called True Love? :)

  4. nope, folks this is not a made-up story, this is a true life account of my friend,who i have discovered about his illness but not his philandering past, untill i met one of his friends whom detested him.

  5. If I'm the woman in the story, I'll still attend to this sick and dying man (for the sake of doing my duty as a wife), but it will merely be attending to his most basic needs, and I won't do them with feelings though.

  6. I will..rather I hold the grudge for the rest of my life.. let all the anger come out.. gone with the winds.. let him go in peace..

  7. If I have not left him the first time he hurt me, I think the 2nd one is no longer a pinch to me, therefore I will still stay by his sick bed till his last day!

    * On the side note, I will still be the legal person to inherit his assets*

  8. I think that she did the right thing though many will say that your friend doesn't deserve it. But you see, Love is not just a feeling but it's a commitment that you tied between your spouse and God. It's not the pains and heartaches that should be accounted here but the good things that you can share to your partner as long as you have the chance. The man in your story had his suffering already by getting a cancer, but the woman has still been blessed with good health inspite of getting so much stressed from her husband. She's still the one in good standing and she never failed what she promised to God. God has given her this challenge for He knows that she can handle it well.

  9. Hi...saw you dropped by my blog...and came over...to be surprised by this!!!

    This is a serious thought provoking post....

    They do say "till death do us part too..."

    Tough call...but frankly, I think I wouldnt have stuck around.

  10. I would and I will....
    Why want to keep the it in our heart. It's not going to benefit us and the him too.
    Release and forget the past, healthy mindset to forgive and receive new blessing for each other.