Friday, May 22, 2009

5+2 = 0

My youngest son Marvell was kind of sad when he showed me his Chinese exam result which he scored 82 out of 100, i asked him why was he feeling that way and he said he was afraid that he might not be the 1st in the class this time around. I was almost taken aback with his feeling and sense of dejection, not that i dont want my son to dream big or to achieve his goal but at his age of 8 i was just wondering why was he feeling this way.

I gave him a big hug shortly after he showed me his result, and i assured him that he was in fact doing very well despite the shortfall, i told him that he should be very proud of himself because he still managed to do well without going for any tuition classes, and he can always snatch back the No 1 if he really wanted too. I further explained to him sometimes we do fall in life, and that's is 100% ok, if he learns how to pick up and go again. Seriously i am not too sure he understood what i said, but i believe as a father the onus is one me to share what life is all about to my two wondeful sons.

Frankly speaking, i am a crazy father, i love to see my sons fall along the way, then i will sit them down talking to them about failure and success, about facing dejection and overcome it. Letting them know that at times it will be absolutely all right if they fall or miss the targets.

You see for the good 5 days in a row, our children are in school learning to do well in school, and sometimes being rebuked if they dont do well, and going after one tuition class to another and to another, and for the remaining 2 days in the week, if we as parent if we still push them to do likewise as in school, without learning about things we call life, then 5 + 2 really equals to 0.

It is no surprising then to know that children even at their tender age now, can tell you that they are under stress, and how they have lost the joy of studying. I have this penchant of always asking my sons this "Are you the happiest boy in the class ?" and i am happy to hear them say indeed that they are.

P/S : As far as i am concerned, my sons are always the No 1


  1. ur son is so cute & too stress?

    my girl is too contented with 40/60 for her P1 results. I was like "WHAT" oni like tat? She said "30 is the passing u know!" ... heehee...


  2. It is not good for children to know the taste of success on be on the top all the time at such a young age. They need to know how it is like to fall down so that they could work their way back up and learn to be strong instead of just a snob who taught that they are the best all the time and have no compassion for others who are weaker.

  3. nowadays i m not stressed up like those days when my first son was in primary school... now i m "steady"...hahaha... cos i realise the more worked up i m, the more pressured they feel... like u, why want to make life miserable for them, huh?
    as long as they r doing alright, they should be ok...

  4. Eugene,
    You have a beautiful family.And, my spirit is uplifted when reading this.There's so much more to learn for all of us.I am so 'young'& green in parent-hood.I have a pair of toddlers.

    It is true,there's more than being top in the class.Well, not to say that I'm not grateful if my children being nbr ONE in their classes.But my point is,I don't want to put so much pressure in achieving 'OUR dreams' instead of nurturing true value of life .Our children are heaven-sent & they are always precious to us no matter how they score in school.

  5. Singapore channel 8 is showing a drama called "书包太重" which shows how kiasu the parents are, force their kids to tuition here and there...

    I think ur kids should feel proud cos they have a understanding papa...

  6. Wow! You are such a good father! I think you are doing the right, though I'm not qualified to say so. haha!

    Teaching children how to face failures is possibly one of the most important lesson they can ever learn : )

  7. Eugene, thanks for visiting my blog and leaving comment :-); just want you to know that i think you have a good family and you are a good father....great job on teaching your kids things in life...your son is a good and smart kid.

    i am also following your blog now, thanks!

  8. Reminiscing my 8-year-old, I would gladly accept any consolation (and life lesson) that was given when I was down. (That I thank you...)

    Remembering my 8-year-old, I would forget easily any downed feeling after few days (thus forgetting about the life lesson as well). (That I'm sorry...)

    It is important to remind the children every now and then that you love them (in words or in gesture). BTW, I am not qualified to "lecture" on how to raise children. ;) Have a nice day.

  9. too much emphasis on academic's the system and happening everywhere especially S'pore. There should be a balance with EQ and IQ as well as Sports and studies and recreation, not forgetting religion. That will make a man whole and balanced.

  10. hey your son is very adorable!
    for me, 82 is very high already.. but maybe your son wants a 90 plus? haha..

    all the best to him! he is indeed your number 1! =D

  11. What a bright smart boy to a very understanding daddy. So your boys can speak Chinese?