Tuesday, March 31, 2009

There is a Me in Him

I guess most of us parents would agree with me just one thing,even if you could disagree with me many other things,but this one thing you sure will have to agree with me, it is simply bringing up children is sure no walk in the park.

I was doing some soul searching in relation to the area of parenting,especially dealing with my eldest son Jovial, he is 12 now, and suddenly i realized that it is not that hard to teach, to guide, to bring up to be a fine young boy. I realized that most of the difficulties when dealing with him, it is not all about him, but it is most of me, and i came to understand that this son of mine has some traits that are identical with mine.

So as i looked for more constructive and meaningful ways in dealing with Jovial, it shocked me to understand that i have to first of all look into myself first, his mischievousness,his cockiness, his stubbornness, his foolhardiness, his carefreeness and some others traits of his came from me.

As i dealt deeply with myself, i was asking myself with all these identical traits that i share with Jovial, certain questions surfaced. How do i like to be treated? How do i want somebody to tell me my wrongs? How do i want to be told that my stubbornness will not hurt others? How do i need to be reminded that my foolhardiness will not cause any malaise to others, and so and so forth at the age when i was a boy his age ?

I questioned myself with the same quotes i questioned Jovial. i flared the same anger at myself with the same anger i did unto him, i brushed myself off with the same excuses i used towards him, I raised my voice at myself with the same kind of tone i threw at him. Sincerely i had to come face to face with myself that i did not like any of these actions that i did to myself, but subconciosuly i did it all these to Jovial.

We always propagate the phrase "Dont do to others what you dont like others to do unto you" but we always fail to practise that advice on our family and especially our children.

P/S : Son, Let me learn, as i want you to learn, let me see the mistakes i make,as i want you to see the mistakes you make, and let me see me in you....


  1. very tough to be parents, hor? we r still learning and learning.. at times we need to hold a rod and at times we need to succumb to their needs too.. so in other words, we have many masks in us... one minute, humble and nice, the next, strict and fierce.. tough..tough..

    anyway, on top of it all, we shall always love them very much... and hopefully, vice versa too!

  2. wahh...cute pics of father & son, hehe!

  3. "Dont do to others what you dont like others to do unto you" but we always fail to practise that advice on our family and especially our children. - this is so right.

    I always have difficulties dealing with my gal, who is so stubborn and not listening. I never stop thinking of ways on how to make her understand. Sometimes it works and sometimes not.... sigh, so difficult to understand what is in their mind.

  4. i totally believe in that saying. Don't do onto others what you don't want to others to do onto you. That's what I always advice to my friends whom are parents! But then again, spare the rod and spoil the child! It's a dilemma.

  5. LOL... like father, like son. Hopefully both of your sons will grow up to be a great man, husband, father and son, just like you!

  6. Thanks for sharing. It is super to have a kid like that. You are so blessed.