Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Son, just believe in yourself

Heard some noise coming from the hall, my wife was kind of mad whilst teaching Jovial (my eldest) some mathematic exercises,which she deemed was important simply because Jovial didnt fare too well in that particular subject fromhis most recent exam,56/100.

I took a while to scan the whole situation, and indeed i was mad at him,while my wife was teaching him,he was looking blank and acted non chatlanly and disdainly towards my wife. That manner of his infuriated me, i walked over to the table and showed him my "pissed off" face, took his books,closed them up and directed him to his room.(that's what i usually do when i am mad at him, leaving some space between my anger and sanity.) After a while, when i finally composed myself, and put my anger in check, i sauntered into his room, calling out his name and the preacher side of me surfaced, and there i started my sermon without the pulpit.

And the gist of my sermon to Jovial is as follow, i told him that first he must recognise that he is weak in his mathematic,and secondly he must make a decision to improve on it or otherwise,if he chooses to improve, then he must be willing to spend extra effort in it and most of all he must be happy doing. I told him my only concern is for him to find the HAPPINESS in exceling himself.

I gave him a pat and hug, and i left him in the room to allow him to do some thinking,and i assured him that what i wanted for him is for him to be happy, and being happilly smart.

P/S : Son, i know you are trying and am proud of you and love you.

10 comments:

  1. I can imagine the scenerio, my fren cos i have been "there" before... when my son was in std 1 or 2, the same thing happened.. and i was bad tempered that time.. i remember flinging the book away from the table.. it was infuriating then.. Now thinking back, i come to learn that.. we need to be in their shoes, not as an adult of 30 yrs old or so, but as a child of 8, 9, 10 or 12....
    imagine we being they...instead of they being we... u understand what i mean?
    haha.... well.. i guess we expect a lot from our kids..tat is for sure..
    over here, i believe in tuition, cos i know i m not a teacher... and never will be...

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  2. Sometimes it's better to leave the tuitioning to the professionals... i don't have the patience either, in tutoring.

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  3. somehow i cant help but think that you're not chinese....hahahaha. coz what you did, is pretty not chinese, more of the orang putehs' style of teaching. it takes time and patience to teach our loved ones especially our children in education. there are times they just cannot concentrate with all the shouting and scolding, we have to back out and give a lil bit of space for a breather.

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  4. The things about parents is that they tend to do things which they later regret. It will make the child confuse. It's just like throwing their ice cream on the floor and then later picks it up for the child. To me, what has been done is done. You cannot undo the hurt.

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  5. i hate maths and i nvr had good grades in maths but was very surprised i got A for my spm. but i believe practice makes perfect. maybe you can buy him more maths workbooks and send him for maths tuition..

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  6. believe in yourself in finding ur happiness..yes..tat's the way i shud be.

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  7. Thats how I did to my sisters and brothers when they still a kid..and to let them 'wke up' is not easy. But one thing I know is to let them do what they like but watch them closely.. we cant grow the 'durians' to become 'rambutans' right? hehehee

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  8. i don't have the patience either, may be i should give my son some space too

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  9. I've always hated maths, still do, such an irony for me to be in Banking. Anyway, I think Jovial would need some 1 to 1 coaching, perhaps a tutor so he'll be able to focus more.

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  10. When I was in the primary school, I was so horribly weak in Math. I was caned by my Math teacher. At home, my parents gave me some Math problems to solve daily, and I remember being punished if I didn't know how to solve the problems. That did NOT help me at all - i mean i appreciate what my parents had done for me then. Sadly, I'm a terribly slow learner.

    What I did not understand when I was in primary school, i understood only when I reached secondary school. When I had to teach Math much, much later, then only I knew the tricks.

    So you see, Eugene, and the rest of you, kids are different. Some are very slow learners, some are not. Some study with the TV on, others couldn't concentrate with the slightest noise. Some study while lying in bed while others have to sit at a study table. We need to respect that they cannot be expected to be the person we want them to be all the time. They have their own traits.

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