Wednesday, November 05, 2008

A deadly cancer , A steady friend

Bumped into an old friend of mine over lunch the otherday, Kee New Man is his name(dont worry i have seeked his approval to tell his story), i was surprised that he spotted bald head and even the eye brows were gone, i knew he contracted cancer of the lymph node quite sometimes ago, but to see him in this look, really shocked me, i thought has the sickness worsen or was he succumbing to the sickness.

I singnalled him over to do lunch his lunch on the same table, which he happily obliged. Wanted to ask him about his sickness, but hesitated, anyway looking at his cheerful demeanour i said to myself " dont give a fuck la, just ask, the least he could not, is to blush me away" which he didnt do.

So i asked"Newman, how is your cancer doing?" "ok" was his subtle answer, but he continued " i am going for my third chemo session" as we continued talking about cancer, i noticed one thing about this friend of mine, who didnt seem to be pertubed by his condition, and on top of that he exuded confidence and cheerfulness that we can hardly see in anyone dreaded with this deadly disease.

He shared with me one thing very important, that in his opinion the cause to his cancer was none other than, guess what? it was none other than this mother fucker thing called STRESS, yes you heard it right STRESS. he decribed to me how stressful he was over his job, even as he brushed his teeth, there were ulcer on his gums which could bleed, and it was just not one spot or two, but there were more than 5 ulcer resulting from the stress.

But this friend of mine is different, he acknowledged that he had cancer, he accepted it with no fear or remorse and he vowed to fight untill the end. Despite his condition, he acted as a beacon of hope to other cancer patients, and telling them there was no reason to fear. In fact he has more reasons to be bitter than most of us, simply because he doesnt smoke, health conscious, exercises reqularly but he lived on with the knowledge that yes he has got cancer, and the only thing is could not is to stay happy, i remember him telling me one quote he gave to his wife that he was going to live for another "365 months" , that's how optismistic he is.

He is not in the state of "self denial" or "full of blames" to me he is a fighter. Look at us now, would we be as strong as this friend of mine?. We moan and groan about how unfair the world is treating us, how unfortunate we are, we curse, we remorse.

So from today onwards i command you to be happy (yes you), to be appreciative, and not to be bogged down by stress, to care for others, learn to love, learn to enjoy life's little things.Go now give your loved one a hug, tell them how much you love them

And to you my friend, NewMan, i respect you and i love you, go forth and claim that victory, and i am celebrating now for that good news.

P/S, if you think you're worse than the guy next door, damn it you're indeed right.


  1. Everyone has stress to go thro, just see how the way you handle it. Just live 1 day at a time and leave matters to the one above.

  2. Hmm... I'd say, very thought provoking post, Eugene. Cancer, people can either choose to learn and thrive when having cancer or succumbs to it. Cancer can either break families apart or bring them closer together. Your friend is a real fighter, Eugene. I hope he will do just find, God willing.

  3. A couple of years ago I received a phone call from a friend telling me that our close friend was hospitalised due to leukemia. I was shocked as he was because this friend of us was sport-liking guy who was very fit. My friend told me to call some of our friends so that some money can be collected to raise fund for our friend to go for bone marrow transplant.A few day later an article appearing on the newspaper asking for public donation for my friend. I could see the photo of normally cheerful friend of mine with a worried face and a bold head. I was very sad looking at the picture as this senior of mine was a very bright and good looking engineering student who used to take care of us as we were staying in the same campus. He was single-handedly raised up by his mom as his father passed away when he was young. I could image how sad was his mother. My friend passed away two weeks later after I knew about the news and busy calling friends for donations. The money we raised was not big but of no use any more. Sometime the turn of events in life is simply beyond our expectations.A person who seemingly fix and healthy can just be taken away his life due to chronic sickness like cancer.

  4. Najib is like cancer!

    0bama memang...

    Saribu mongolian pun boleh menag!

    Mongolian as Msia PM! That's for a change!

    tengok najib & razak apamacam?

  5. hi eugene... yes,. i admire yr fren's courage and optimistism.. he is a shining example not only to the sick but to us that moans and groans and grumbles all the time..
    May God bless him with continuous strength and comfort upon his life..

  6. Reading in myself, thanks for your write-up about me more so on your confidence & faith in me to pull thru this chapter of my life, which i definately WILL. Thanks to the kind words & comments to those who have writen in too.
    Well, going thru it 2 times in 2 years was not a thing one would imagine but what the heck, just ride thru it.
    Some corrections on details, 1st time was diagnosed with NPC (CA of upper throat) then now it's in my bones. And finishing my 6th chemo by this month end.
    Yes, i honestly believe STRESS is the main killer in any/most conditions. It can cause one a simple mouth ulcer that will be just brushed it aside as 'just an ulcer' AND it can also cause one to take the leap from the 10th floor. Agree? So, just imagine all those conditions in between a simple ulcer to a drastic leap.
    Already learned to destress a lot now & also doing Qi Qong to help. Ha!

  7. thank you my bro, i am elated that you have personally came and penned down your thoughts here, truly appreciate it,and by you own admission that stress is indeed a killing factor, love ya NewMan,

    Btw, please send my regards to your wife and the two pricessess of yours of whom i have not been able to meet,

    take care now,and i will to tani with you this coming chap goh mei,