Had a casual chit-chat moments over a cuppa with two neighours (husband and wife),as usual the topics embroiled in the conversation are non other than relationship,frustration being a wife or a husband and the loss of sparks in one's relationship.........
Sometimes i am really blessed that i have friends that we can talk in a deeper level,and having them sharing their malaise and frustration with me and my wife. By having listening to their woes,it makes me look back upon my relationship with my wife for that matter.
I noticed one apparent trait in most couples (by default those have married more than 10 years ),that is you can hardly hear edifying words or statements coming from the couple about their partner. Words like, my husband is great or my wife is wonderful, i am glad that i have him or her as my partner or soul-mate, thank god for him or her.
Most of the times, they would just say things that are not so endearing or making statements that are not so nice (i am not saying what that say is not true),they would just say more of the partner's bad points and bury their good ones.
Seriously, i wonder how can we have a stastifying relationship when all we do is to amplify the bads rather than the goods of our partners. I always maitain the fact that my wife is not a perfect person,neither am i a perfect husband but my wife has more of the good that i look up to than the bad. I would always make my wife proud in the company of my friends telling them how gladful i am for having such a wonderful wife.
Another thing solely in my opinion, in order for a couple to have a fulfilling relationship the couple should have a common love for certain activities. As for me and my wife, we both love to run, tennis and a weekend binge. These activities help us to talk more and laugh more and to destress us more.
P/S: If you stop working on a relationship now, it wil be harder when you work on it later.