Tuesday, December 02, 2008

My husband is not my husband.... vice versa

Had a casual chit-chat moments over a cuppa with two neighours (husband and wife),as usual the topics embroiled in the conversation are non other than relationship,frustration being a wife or a husband and the loss of sparks in one's relationship.........

Sometimes i am really blessed that i have friends that we can talk in a deeper level,and having them sharing their malaise and frustration with me and my wife. By having listening to their woes,it makes me look back upon my relationship with my wife for that matter.

I noticed one apparent trait in most couples (by default those have married more than 10 years ),that is you can hardly hear edifying words or statements coming from the couple about their partner. Words like, my husband is great or my wife is wonderful, i am glad that i have him or her as my partner or soul-mate, thank god for him or her.

Most of the times, they would just say things that are not so endearing or making statements that are not so nice (i am not saying what that say is not true),they would just say more of the partner's bad points and bury their good ones.

Seriously, i wonder how can we have a stastifying relationship when all we do is to amplify the bads rather than the goods of our partners. I always maitain the fact that my wife is not a perfect person,neither am i a perfect husband but my wife has more of the good that i look up to than the bad. I would always make my wife proud in the company of my friends telling them how gladful i am for having such a wonderful wife.

Another thing solely in my opinion, in order for a couple to have a fulfilling relationship the couple should have a common love for certain activities. As for me and my wife, we both love to run, tennis and a weekend binge. These activities help us to talk more and laugh more and to destress us more.

P/S: If you stop working on a relationship now, it wil be harder when you work on it later.


  1. bro..most of the folks like to talk the opposite, especially chinese.

  2. either they are edifying someone else or kutuking their own partners. a common trait among us malaysians.....not only the chinese. why is that? cant answer but we have to look into our own life and examine. good post bro.

  3. Oh god,pa,you are so brilliant,kind,smart,friendly, bathed.I love you. from Marvell

  4. Life is difficult...

    especially when u have so many commitment!

  5. If only couples thinks like you, Eugene, many marriages could be saved from their impending doom.

  6. every person has his/her own imperfections because nobody is perfect in this world. the sad thing is that people tend to look more at these imperfections than the other way around. it is through the mistakes that we do in life that we learn and when we fall, somebody has to help us stand or at least prop us up so we may be able to stand on our own again. talking to other couples makes us realize on a whole lot of things especially those that have been there ahead of us. if only couples will have the sensitivity to feel each other out and take the utmost care not to hurt each other emotionally, the world would probably be better and full of loving and caring couples. nice post bro. ciao!