Sunday, November 23, 2008

Another one bites the dust

I've sensed something was amiss with him,but never wanted to her for i knew he would tell me when time was right for him to do so..........and he finally broke his silence

And yes he told me today that he was in the process of getting divorced with his wife of 21 years.Calmly he said this was the end of the road,and he had decided so,and there was no turning back.

To me this friend of mine could be labelled as tall, fair,humorous and handsome,he is suave, affable,friendly and a real woman charmer,he is 50. Together they have 3 children ages 21,17,13 respectively.

I asked him what went wrong,if he could"survive" a marriage for 21 years, what could be so drastic and insurmountable that he had to let go, no apparent reasons from him,he simply put it as if he just had to let go. It is not going to be a smooth transition for him,i reckon for his wife is not going to let go.Since the day he proposed to his wife about the imminent decision of his, it has been nothing but havoc.

I have known this friend for about 10 years now,the children are closed to me, no wonder recently i noticed some behavioural changes in the children especially the oldest girl,she used to be very carefree,chatty but now she is remotely quiet and not even wanting to talk to me. I feel sad for the children, they must have been suddenly tossed into a situation where they have no control over,all the yelling, the arguments, the walk-outs,the cold wars between the parents is what they are experiencing now.

I am not going to dispense any advice to my friends, both are adults but the least they could do they need to take care of their chilrend's feeling and emo, i know it might not be easy for my friends but i believe it is so much harder for their children.

P/S,i am kind of sick of sharing this kind of story, i hope all marriages will end well, i am naive you must say,but seriously this is my hope


  1. I'm an outsider, so i will bite my tongue too, Eugene. i just hope they know what they are doing and put their children's interest above their own.

  2. may be it is a kind of relieve for all parties involve including the children. :(

  3. it is always a 2 sided affair, both are equally involved when such decision is made.. one cannot blame the other... well,as u said, adults might be able to take the blows but can the children take that?

  4. Feel sorry for your friend. The news must have been hard on the children.

  5. lets just say that the relationship of your friend and his wife is beyond repair, wouldn't a divorce or separation be a better alternative to the children than subject them to a hellish life of quarrels, fights, shouting, insults, etc,etc. i too am an outsider and i admit too that my marriage is on the rocks. sometimes i too think that separation is the better choice in situations like this BUT, that part of me as a father to my children will always be first and important, second, i am not a selfish person especially to my kids, it will always be their happiness first before mine and lastly, i have always believed that there is always a better solution to a problem, it is just a question of finding the right answers at the appropriate time. now may not be the right time but am definitely sure that the perfect time will come for them to settle their differences. maybe, you and your common friends can help them by including them in your prayers. thank you for this post bro. i have realized a lot of things because of this. ciao!