Monday, October 06, 2008

The other side of our inside.

I love the children, i adore them, i enjoy being around with them, and most of the evening i will be in the garden in my neigbourhood playing with the children and for sure it includes my two lovely and wonderful boys(if i dont go for my run or my swim)

As i was walking with one of the neigbour's daugthers, telling her jokes and talking about school and all those kiddy stuffs, suddenly i popped up a question to her " do you love your father ? " i was stunned, without hesitation she said to me" i dont love my father and i dont like him either"
then i probed further and i asked "why ?, your father is a very nice person and i am sure he is very nice to you too. right ?" coming from a ten years old girl, i know the answer can be true and sweet, then she said " he is only nice to his friends, to the family he is bad" that answer got me thinking hard. i discontinued the question ans she had already made me feel guilty.

That is so true, i mean that is really really so true"he is only nice to his friends, to the family he is bad" and i was once like that too, i could tolerate the nonsense from my friends, but i just couldnt bear the nonsense from my boys, i could just blast my temper at my family but not to my friends, i accumulated the stress from the office, and took the children as my vending hose.

When i went home that night, i asked my two boys "do you guys love papa?" and i was so happy the both of them said "yes" and i said to them " if papa had made you both sad before, i am sorry and i promised to learn to be a better dad everyday"

I guess most of us are guilty of this trait, we tend to be good to those outside of our family and we are ohterwise to our own family. It is probably, we dont like our friends to see the ugly side of us or could it be because if we are good to others, they will sing praises about how good we are.

Most often than not, we neglect how our family feel, we dont bother, lest we care. We dont show appreciation, like we do to others, it is a paradox on our part, isnt it?

P/S, i am learning to make the otherside of my inside same as the outerside.


  1. the world will be a better place with more dads like you. :)

  2. hi eugene, good post! very true indeed...I don't usually yell at/sulk in front of ppl, yet I often find myself yelling/sulking at home...time for repentance...

  3. very true.
    and it's great to know tat you strive to be a better dad. ur family's lucky

  4. last time when my daughter was 4-5 or 6 years old, (i cant really remember) i used to ask her too.. do u love mama? she would answer positively, of course..and i asked further, how much? And she replied "BIG MUCH" , at the same time using her 2 hands to open wide...
    now she is a teenager, she will not answer promptly, sometimes she said a soft yes and when i asked how much, she will laugh... and both of us same time said.. BIG MUCH!!
    i guess as they grow older, they will be shy-er..and slowly slowly.. they wont say it anymore..

  5. He is a good father, ;- )

    Tks to have you & both kids, love u