She slogged hard throughout her life, at one point of her life, she married a wrong guy, she left him with a son. Not long after this, she met a nice man,(just migrated from Medan, Indonesia), but this man was already married from a arranged deal, so the lady was made a second wife. Her husband was doing well in the business,(back in the early sixties, not many could afford to own a car, but he did) but this lady never seemed to enjoy the fruit of his success, simply because she was the second wife.
After the second time collapse of his business, her husband was not doing well since. By this time this lady had to find ways and means to shoulder the responsibility of bringing up her children( 3 girls, two boys, one from the first marriage), she should be in her late thirties by then, situation had it so bad that, she had to make one decision that she never wished she should make, to go out and work, and to go out and work, she did. She got the job as a domestic helper in a Japanese expat home, and she was now called (ah mah, domestic helper).
She took bus to work, but she felt that it would be rush for her to rush home to cook for her family, so she tried cycling to work, again, she felt that her children would miss out on home-cooked meals, so she decided to learn to ride a motorbike, by now she was in her late forties.She managed to get a license to ride a bike, and her children would enjoy her home cooked meals.
Not many years later, her husband succumbed to heart disease, and this poor lady was barred from attending her own husband's funeral because she was the second wife, so her youngest son and the oldest daughter were there on her behalf, and i happened to be that yongest son.
I was sixteen then, i knew and i sensed my mom's misery but i just could find a way to console her. After the death of my father, my family was doing ok, because by then my eldest sister had come out to work, and she had managed to supplement the house hold's income, to this i am thankful to her.
As we are all grown up now, but i know my old mom is not a bit happy for the following reasons,
the children (5 of us ) are not close at all, and i guess even if she doesnt say it, i know this breaks her heart. My eldest sister is not talking to me because she thinks i am not supportive of her as far as her divorced is concerned, and my youngest sister can not care less about this and that, as for me i have tried to enhance the sibling bond but i failed.
The situation is aggravated, as one of them is trying to equate money with filliality, i am giving more and i am doing more, why cant this guy do the same, and what not. And like they say money has crippled another brother and sister hood bonding. My mom knows this well but i guess she is afraid to offend anyone of us.
I might not be the pefect fillial guy, and i know everyone of my siblings loves their mom too , but it is the equation of money and fidelity that's doing the harm. Just yesterday i had a discussion with my second sister, i told her in order not to deteriorate our siblings situation, and to be fair to those who giving more, i suggested to her from next month onwards, everyone of us would give the same amout of money to mom, irrespective how rich or how poor you are, but i know this wouldnt work because one of two of them cant even afford the amount i suggested, so i guess the problem persists.
P/S, money should never be used to equate filliality
PPS, and i love you mom, sorry if i had made you mad