Friday, September 19, 2008

Slaved to Love

" There was a girl i used to know, she was oh so beautiful, but she's not here anymore. She had a college degree, smart as anyone can be, she had so much to live for. But she fell in love with the wrong kinda of man, he abused her love and treated her so bad"The way he proves himself a man by beating his woman with his hands. "

"How come , how long, it's not right, it's so wrong. Do we let it just go on. turn our backs and carry on, wake up for it's too late, right now we cant wait, she wont have a second try, open up your hearts and as well as your eyes. song from Stevie Wonder and Babyface (how come, how long)

"If your man abuses you physically even for the very first time, the alarm has sounded", this is what i used to tell my lady friends, but most often then not, girls will always be silenced by man's pathetic, apologetic, regretful look, therefore the violence reigns, this is so true.

This is exactly what happened to my old neighbour, she was abused by her husband, she ran away once from him, came back and the abuse continued. I told her to report to the police, she refused, and giving me the excuse that she could still handle it. Secretly i reported the case to the police, and when the police came,she refused to open the door for them. The funny thing was ,many of the neighbours knew about this, but all they did was saying things like how can this girl be so stupid, or may be she loved to be abused. Now that i have left the place, i pray and hope she is ok, and for me as a human i think i had done what i should have.

Domestic violence is so real, cases reported are cases reported but they are many more still go undetected and unreported. Imagine a girl being abused, and the trauma she has to go through, time after time untill she is too vulnerable to fight back or to make believe that this is what life has to offer to her.

A true love doesnt have to be like this, a true love doesnt make one feel slaved, lesser important or abusable.

As a parent, i know i have the responsibility to instill in my two boys about the respect that they must have for girls, that they should not in anyway make sexist jokes, or making fun at the girls' biological differences.

P/S, i guess god never made anyone of us weaker than the others to be abused, stand up .


  1. Hey, I remember that song! One of my favorite when I was still in sec school. My friend has been in a r/ship with a guy for exactly one year in this mth. during those times, my friend often complaint about the BF immature behavior. Though he's never use his hands to react but i can see he's got that potential. He has one attitude that i dont think would change. He likes to win over any kind of discussion or opinion. even if his point is wrong, he would fine one point to tembak balik. I told my friend that she should know what to do if she's not happy with this guy. But she's too hesitate to leave him because she said they're too close already and the parents + relatives know about them. I know the parents don't like the guy cause he's disrespectful towards people. Ok, this is too long. Hahaha...i just hope i could find one strong point to make my friend realize

  2. hey ,but the way, dont ever go out with a boy who is disrepectful towards older people

  3. I also have a neighbour yg selalu gaduh ngan husband dia, tapi yg peliknya...suara dia saja kita dengar, takde pulak dengar suara suami dia...dia nangis2 kuat sangat sambil bebel in chinese language (not sure mandarin or cantonese), pastu u will hear pukul2 and barang baling, then u'll hear she loud.

    Sometimes, I heard...dia pukul anak2 dia...kesian laa, almost everyday. I wonder macam mana psychology anak2 dia...nangis2, bila nangis lagi kena marah...the woman will shout "siow" in chinese, sometimes "bodoh" in malay. then u dengar diaorg kena pukul lagi...kesian laa children dia.

    I tried to make a report last year, to rakancop...tapi i silap bagi no rumah (because diaorg kat tingkat atas -apartment), so police dah tak datang lagi...then last month i report lagi, without alamat umah tapi i bagitau floor brape...this time police ignore je :-\ ...polis pun satu hal laa jugak...hampeh.

    I pitty their children...ada baby lagi...I yang tension dengar anak dia nangis kena pukul...arghhhhh

  4. In reality more women abuse man.

    but man keep quite because they dont want to fight back.

    Its alright for women to get angry without reason but not man.

    But they want to fight for EQUALITY?

    I believe most women deserve to be hit for they dont respect men.

  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

  6. i have an ex-collegue whom was also being abused by her long time BF. When she told me abt it, i asked her to leave him. Finally she left him and i also advised her to give our collegue then a chance!

    Now they are happily married with a baby girl!

    lucky my colleague listened and willingly to leave the "bad guy"...

    one happy ending for now at least...


  7. there was once i reported to the police seeing my neighbor being seriously beaten up by her husband. the police came but my neighbor was too afraid to come out from her house. the police said they can't do anything because it's their family problems and left the place. sigh

  8. Respect for each other is vital in everyone's relationship. No one is allowed to beat anyone..

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  10. hi bro! thanks for the visit and the suggestion, am feeling quite well but still a bit woozy from all that lying around and taking all those meds. btw, i do exercise, i ride my bike practically everyday, doctor says that exhaustion and fatigue may have caused my flu. since my resistance is down and is thus susceptible to infection. i have a few comments regarding this post... men sometimes are driven to the end of their wits and reasoning, add to that a little provocation from the wife and bang! husband blows top and before he knows it, slaps the wife in a fit of anger. i do agree with you that there is absolutely no reason at all for a man to hit a woman but if the woman disrespects you, insults you, nags you and worst, what if the woman betrayed your TRUST! don't get me wrong bro, i'm no wife beater, but all this happened to a friend of mine. question is: what will a man do if this ever happens to him? tried to answer that question myself and honestly, i'm at a lost for answers, up until now... if that happens to me, i don't know what to do, but i pray that if and when it does happen to me, GOD HELP ME!

  11. we have such case here. she's in college and everyday she's beaten up by her boyfriend. Like everyone here could hear it. very sad fact indeed eugene.

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  13. Men who hit women and children are just weak people who are trying to cover their weaknesses.