Monday, September 22, 2008

Raison d'etre

There is a famous local chinese cliche " one parent can raise ten children, but ten children cant even look after one parent". Well, you might think it is so funny when hearing this cliche, but it is so true in today's social setting.

May be we have heard it too often, how the old, feeble, sickly and near immobile parents are being tossed around from one child's house to the other, the situtation is worsely compounded when the daughter or son in laws are not so favourable in having the parents staying with them.

We were once our parents' raison d'etre (the reason for their existence), how they slogged for us, how they skimped for us so that we could have a little extra, they deprived themselves so that we could be well provided for.

Look us at us, we provide the best for our children, but when our folks ask a little extra, we tend to tell them how tight we are, (I am not sure about you, but in one or two occasion i was guilty of this too)

I truly believe our old parents' needs are not that hard to entertain, they just need that little to spend, what they need most is their longing for their children visits, they dont need to go to the fine dining restaurant to be happy, they just want to have the children around them, when they are having their meals, they dont need the high-tech phone which never rings, they just need a old Nokia 3310,to have their children calling them, they just need the children to tolerate their nags, in order for them to show us that they still care, they dont need the Mercedes, but they just need your hands to uphold them when they walk. They dont need your birthday present, they just need you to remember their birthday, they dont need your eating out on mother or father's day, they just need to hear you saying"i love you"

I know of this uncle who is his 70's now, when he retired, he took out his provident fund and started a small business ,hoping that the children could take over one day and the children would take this business to look after them. Sad to say, the children didnt want the business, closed down, lost the money and this uncle is solely dependent on the children, and this uncle is suffering now because the children are not that good.

By the way, if you are married, dont forget about your parents in law, they love to hear from you too.

P/S, when we look at our children, we must look back at our parents, they need us too


  1. indeed true...

    especially if he/she is the only child.

    one adult take care of 2 adults

  2. eugene,

    you are absolutely rite, they don't need expensive hp that never rings only a 3310 as long as you call them.

    I like that phrase.We need to refresh our love for them, especially for me during this hari raya.

    aita your entry is so touching la,make me wanna cry lah taiko hehe

  3. the most thing that matters to parents is for their children to love each other and being humble & respectful in life. Parents love towards the children is never-ending, neither should ours towards them. Nice entry Eugene. Ouh, btw the singer is Kumpulan Elite

  4. So true. How is it that our society has become so calloused? How can one have a heart to deny one's parents' simple wishes?

  5. Nice post for musing, Eugene. I have a post which it related to this post. It's true story (also my experience) about "night woman" and how difficult in her life to buy milk for her baby. If you have time please visit

  6. so damn right! your post speaks alot about how the "old generation" is being treated nowadays. i've learned an important lesson from my father in law in this regard... that is to prepare for the time that you and your wife will be back in each others arms, meaning, when all of your children have gone, you must be prepared when it will be the two of you all over again. to tell you the truth, i am already preparing for that time so i will not depend on my childrens doleouts. btw, have something for you man, go check out my site. have a nice day.

  7. i watched that show..MOney not enough" made in singapore.. it is so real.. it happens, truly happens .. i also dont know what to say.. but i truly know that a mother's love for her kids are unconditional..just like our Father's love for us..