Monday, December 03, 2012

What would you say to her?

There is this very dear lady friend of mine and she is in dilemma, dilemma in the sense of caught in a situation of "pulling out, calling it quit" or "scared of losing face"..........

.She was sharing her "dilemma" with me and I said to her that may be I could just share it in my blog and let my readers share their opinions.....

My dear lady friend is her mid 50s now,she is a two time divorcee, when she had then been married for the third time now but the problems surfaced not long after her third marriage that the husband does not care much about "family finance',"bad temper" (he could just bang the table and walk off,leaving the poor lady friend in tears,I know cos I witnessed that)

My dear friend is not dependent on him financially as he is kind of bad managing finance and he is also a divorcee.

I guess now she could not take it anymore, she wanted out but then the problem is she was afraid that she might be jeered by her friends when they found out that that she was divorced again.she said she dread to hear this,"see I told you not to get remarried" "see i told you,you have been better off being single and bringing  up the children" blah blah blah

When I was done chatting with her on FB,I told her this,I knew that she still loved this guy but then again  if the headaches,the pain and the frustration outweighs everything else,then she should really think it deep and hard about spending the rest of her life with him.

Sometimes,I wonder why can't a person change when one gets older ?

P/S : I love you but I can't stand you


  1. oh dear.. the question is.. can she stay alone? If yes, then better to be alone than lonely even with a man in the house...

  2. Since she can call it quit the earlier 2 times, what make this current one so difficult?

    I feel for her and understand that not everyone can stay single (let's not talk about bringing up the kids part), in fact who doesn't fancy a shoulder to cry on or someone to fall back to when things weren't that good?

    But i guess, she really need to learn on how to judge men better b4 committing into the 4th serious relationship!

  3. Sorry to hear about this, sounds complicated to me...

    I would ask the same question as Claire... If she can be very independent on her own, it's best to stay on her own then..

  4. guess like what you said, she really got to think hard and harder this time...

  5. Got confused a bit when she said she still loves him despite of all the pain & heart sick, how come? She should be mad and 'hated' him instead? Think the pain & mental torture of facing this hubs EVERYDAY is much greater than facing people to know her failed 3rd marriage. Is she thinking people will be bugging her with calls everyday which I dont think so? My 2 sen.

  6. Takes two to tango... If she can't dance, then just sit. Not everyone has to dance, some are quite happy to sit and enjoy the music.

  7. Maybe can separate for a short time, let her mind get clear and think carefully whether to continue with her marriage. Tease from her friends only a short period. But if she continue like this she might need to bare and suffer with the problem everyday.

  8. It's pretty hard for her that involved in such perplexing circumstance.As we knew that bible always teach us that self ego,depression,anxiety will bond our soul and always mislead us circuitously. Although is pretty easy to express it out in word form, when come to practical practice is another story. Self submission to the Almighty and pious prayer to the Lord is the best we should do.There was monk said that learn to release all fingers from our palm and feel the tranquility of "Letting Go" of those negative force which will make us live freely!!Amen