Thursday, November 08, 2012

My unintentional bad habit

I self concede that I am a friendly person, I particularly don't have much of "restriction" when it comes to social contact,I get along with people very easily but then again what I thought was normal, was not perceived as "etiquette right" as far as my lovely wife is concerned.

You see,sometimes when I am in the company of my lady friends, a normal social setting of let say,chit chatting over some beers, some dinners,where I can be excitedly engaging with my lady friends with some kind of conversation,it could be their sharing of their sadness,frustration or some laughter.....and I admittedly do have this tendency of..

I would for example,giving them some gentle pats on their hand or some,"not at all ill intended" pats on their shoulders,as a gesture of saying,"hey I am your friend, I care' or "i really enjoy your company" . I was tipped off by my lovely wife,just the other night when was having some good times with my good friend and his partner.

Seriously speaking,to me my gestures were not at all "otherwise motivated" , it was plainly a normal gestures of being a friend,you see may be I am a little bit open minded in that sense of being social animal,I mean if I could give a hug to some of my lady friends,I don't think I should be labelled as someone of wanting to "take advantage" of my lady friends.

Am I crossing the line?

P/S : I guess I am still learning


14 comments:

  1. Yes, you are open minded.. depending on whom you are with... some are more conservative and they might misinterpret something else but I think nowadays, many are open to hugs and pats.. :p

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  2. I agree with Claire. I am as open minded as you. I will pat on the shoulder of my male friends too. I will give my best male freind a hug on their special days, such as birthday or farewell. I see no problem at all on these type of friendly gesture. But then, not all male friends would receive the same treatment from me, wokey! Only certain very best friends of me.

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  3. I see nothing wrong in that Eugene, but then not everyone will agreed with what you are doing. That's life. I see there is nothing wrong in giving your friends(be it male or female) a hug. Most of my good girl friends greed me with a hug, especially when we have not seen each other for a long time..
    there were times I was caught off guard as to wheather to response or not. so I wait for a cue and if they come with an open arm, then I know I'm safe.lol

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  4. You are just like my hubby. Friendly and along with everyone, males or females.

    I think it is alright like the small gestures. Touching hands, shoulders etc. Once my hubby hugged his old friend (a lady) in front of me and introduced me to his friend who is an old classmate from his hometown. I trust him so there is nothing wrong with him being friendly with girls because he knows his boundary and respect me.

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  5. well sometime other people think differently....

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  6. well, no harm in that as my hubby is just like that too..I normally just close an eye..

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  7. I don't see anything wrong with you doing that...

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  8. Just be careful. Some people are very sensitive. You touch a lady, they say you hiao...you touch a guy, they say you gay! Just keep to people you know well, those you are close with and you know will not mind.

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  9. Hehehe, hugs are only for my closest buddies.

    And like STP said, different people have different views on hug. Some interpret hugs wrongly. Some think it's just a friendly gesture :)

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  10. No matter how platonic the realtionship one swears it is...there is always some sextual tension right below the surface...don't you think so ? ..unless the opposite sex is butt ugly. ;)

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  11. I was a big flirt during the young days too. Now my wife would pull my ears and do squats if I naughty again. Prevention is better than cure.

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  12. hey,bro.i think i agreed with STP view of point,what I can said is we are living in the eastern country and we are grow up in the eastern culture, sometimes is pretty hard for certain people to define the action of "HUG" .Frankly said i think there is nothing wrong with you bro,however other people might not perceive it in the similar view of you.We live here, we have to adapt the culture over here..Hehehe just imagine what will happen to you if u are going to give a amicable hug to the malay lady!!!...

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  13. Hey, so long as your wife doesn't mind,a dn your lady friends know you well enough to know you are not asking advantage, who cares... Most important the heart is clean. In this society people can talk whatever they want, even if you don't touch your lady friend, just have a casual beer more than three times a month, and people can start talking! This is the society we live in, but for those of us who are just as open minded as you, nope... You are not crossing the line.

    Oh, but personally for myself, only a guy friend who is close to me can pat me on the shoulder or hand or hug la... Else I get uncomfortable! Hehehehe

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  14. maybe pat on shoulder was fine, hug I think cross the line.

    for me, I restrict myself: no hug / no hold waist while taking photo (with girls of course) . . .

    oh wait, maybe I am too much lol :X

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