Monday, July 02, 2012

Kok Leong

So someone waved at me in a crowded coffee shop last Sunday evening,I sauntered over,then he pointed at another person for me to take notice of and that someone was his brother and then said something to him.

 He said,"Teik Leong (that's my Chinese name),see who is here?"As I looked down,there was my very old friend of 40 years, knew him since we were 7 years old and now we are both 47,Ooi Kok Leong my very old friend.

 There is a story to be told of this friend of mine, you see this Kok Leong got married at the age of 16,(now he has two grandsons,divorced many years ago,current marital status not known and he has been a drug user since that age of 16, right until now.

 I remember two occasions,one being for a time he came up to see me at my house,giving me the excuse that his dad was dying in the hospital and he needed some money to pay the bill,I knew he was lying,cos I saw his dad before he came to see me,(we were from the same kampung)

 The other one being,I was looking for a car park,there was a man,shabbily dressed,directing me to the parking lot and it was Kok Leong,he asked RM1 from me and both occasions,I rejected him.

 So I was with him briefly that evening,seated next to Kok Leong was his sister and as soon as his sister knew that I was Kok Leong's old friend of 40 years,she quickly asked me for a favor, then she said," Please help me to talk to him lah,so old already,still not listening"

 I lowered myself to talk to Kok Leong,I said,"brother,we are already 47,assuming we die at age 60,let us live a good life?" He looked at me sheepishly," I know it takes a lot of determination but I just don't have that" ditto.

 I don't blame him for saying that,it is so true what Kok Leong said,"determination,I just don't have that" I am sure he had gone through so many dark chapters of his life,he had been scorned,he had been humiliated,made fun of and even to the extend of trading his self worth for that little thing called "cocain or crack" and one thing for so many years,one thing always eluded him,that's DETERMINATION.

Sometimes,I feel like him too,when determination just eluded me,when I just succumbed to the craves of my flesh,when I cried out before the Lord,"why am I doing it again?" P/S : I guess,there sure to be some reasons strong enough for us to feel determined

14 comments:

  1. Right now, i want to help this person. but everybody seems not able to help him cos he is so stubborn. he wont listen. what should we do with such person???? i really dont like seeing this person rotting away.

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  2. Pity him, but don't know how to help such person. Too many of them....

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  3. It's hard for someone in his/her 20's to change, let alone Kok Leong is in his 40's. Old habits die hard. - Self-willpower and self-determination are what he needs most.

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  4. well the only thing person that could help him is himself..
    we could advise but it is up to him to listen...
    that is the best we could do...

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  5. It takes a lot of will power and also family support.. guess it is difficult, right? but if there is will power stronger than temptation, it can be done...

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  6. The worst experience I had was bailing a friend out from an long. She was dumped by her hubby and lost in her business & life's directions. I am glad she is on her feet again.
    Every human has problems, no ending ones yet we try to be realistic and sort it out ourselves.

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  7. I won't know how to help him, if I ever come across a person like Kok Leong.

    Maybe all his sheer determination has gone away, he sees his life now as fate that will subcummed him. I hope that something that happen will strike him and will jolt him up.

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  8. Sad and sorry about your friend. Life is like that sometimes - one wrong step and there seems to be no way to turn back. Not easy. Sigh!!!!

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  9. may he able to see the 'value' of life, and turn a leaf.. I guess the family support is very important in his change.. maybe suggest that he sees the grandchildren growth, will be motivating him?

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  10. Eugene,

    He is too deep into it, very hard for him to break this habit on his own. He need divine intervention. Maybe should get him into a drug rehabitation center?

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  11. Sad. A life wasted. But I am sure he did done some good deeds along the way

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  12. It is not too late... Not a life wasted. pray for him, God can change a man's heart. His self esteem is probably zero right now and everyone keep telling him to buck up, do something, which indirectly is telling him he is useless and worthless. But give him a different message bro. Give him a love message that is, no matter where he is in life, what he is doing and how crappy he feels, there is a God who loves him enough to die for him. Plant that seed.

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  13. Hmm feel sad for him that wasted his life just like that. Well sometime religion do help them, but still it depend on him whether wanna change better or not.

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  14. May the force be with Mr. Kok Leong . . .

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