I stumbled upon the above message pasted on FB by one of Jovial's ex school mates, if you don't read Mandarin,loosely translated in English as such," Today I skipped school, because not feeling well but my mom said I always play truant and that I go out till late at night. I wonder if my mom really knows the reasons why I don't want to stay at home... To all the fathers and mothers, I beg you guys to look at "us" from different angles"
After reading his message,I chatted with him on FB, asking him had he ever tried to talk to his mom about how he felt, he said he dared not cos he said before he could open his mouth and speak, he had already courted her wrath.
I know this boy personally, in fact he had been to my house on one or two occasions and his dad happened to be my ex classmate as well, he used to kind of good in his primarily years but the last I heard,when he went into secondary forms, he changed and the latest news I gathered was that this boy was expelled from Jovial school on the ground that he was involved in triad society and said to have collected "protection money' from his fellow school mates.
Why a drastic change in this 15 years old boy? I am sure that his parents want the best for him too, wanting him to excel in his studies too and so on and so forth but the reality is if the parents' intentions are good then something must be wrong some where right?
I am a father to a 15 years old boy too and I can attest that dealing with a teen is never easy, I pray a lot (seriously a lot) for Jovial, I have encountered many unpleasant "crashes" with him but along the way, I have learned to deal with him and till today I can safely say that by the grace of God, we are getting on well and fine.
I have learned
1) To see things from his points of views
2) To respect his points of views (I respect but that does not mean I agree, if I do disagree I would tell him )
3)To be open to him and to allow him to make mistakes and teach him to learn from them along the way
4) I will never substitute "my love" with material gratification, I would buy "good stuffs " for him and that's only when the needs arise
5) I would make sure that I spend enough time with him, we talk and talk
6) I would allow him to tell me my flaws and shortcomings
7) I will always love him
Seriously, I know we are all good parents and parenting does not have to be that hard and heart wrenching, it is I think about how we put ourselves in their shoes kind of things and with loads of prayers and I am sure all of us will succeed.
P/S : Give them more pats, instead of I Pad