"Kesenyuman tiada balasan" no i am not singing the song from Francesca Peter but this was how i really felt this morning in the church.
In the Church, sometimes we have to pretend that we are in high spirit and all, flashing those "how are you brother and how are you sister" smile and greeting when sometimes we don't really mean it.That's why i don't really like to extending out such niceties when i really don't mean it.
Because i know how it feels like,when somebody goes around saying"how are you brother?" with their eyes looking elsewhere.
I was standing at back of the church toward the end of the service, when this "brother" of whom i have met many times even outside the church,i'd tried smiling at him prior to this morning's encounter but all "Keseyuman tiada balasan", may be he really does not like my gut or may be i should give him a benefit of doubt that i am not that approachable.
So this morning, there was no way he would evade my smile and reciprocate like even a stranger should what more a church brother,right? So he passed me by like they say"under my nose" that was how close he was to me, i gave him a broad smile and in the nick of opening my mouth, he shunned me as if i was a total oblivion to him.
I am certain that he knew i was smiling at him for this is not the first time i smiled at him, and i don't think he is short-sighted either or to preoccupied with other thoughts, cos there was once he was just sitting opposite me in the coffee shop and i did smile at him.
I was just thinking,should i try smiling at him again the next time or should i just go up to him and say this,"Brother are you ok and did you know that i just smiled at you?"
P/S : To err is human and to not responding a smile is rather rude