Wednesday, January 19, 2011

This is the hardest thus far..........................

I am a father who loves to be open to my two wonderful sons, they know it well,that's why they do not have any qualms what so ever asking me any questions at all.

I don't like analogize questions posed by my boys for example sex akin to honey and the bee stuff, so far i had managed well, until Jovial my lovely 14 years old boy popped this question to my lovely wife who in returned tossed that question to me and i was literally caught off guard..................

He asked that in Mandarin to my lovely wife in the presence of my lil one Marvell and me," 妈咪,什么是口交, Mommy what is Oral Sex ?" My lovely wife gave me a nudge on my arm and urged me to answer him.

Gingerly i said,"Jo, i can't explain that to you in the presence of your brother for Marvell is too small to hear this" to my horror Marvell took a swipe at me by saying," Don't worry papa, i am all right to listen, is it something to do with sex?"

Now that i was pushed to the corner of the ring, either i put up a white flag, telling him i did know nut about it and if i did that then it would contradict my caution to Jovial about not saying it in front of Marvell,Jovial would know that i knew but too chicken shit to tell him.

If i were to tell him about it, what would be the best way to divulge, i was in a quandary there and then, looking at Jovial's face, i knew i had to answer him thus i started by asking how did it come across that word, oral sex.

He said his friends told him about it, i probed further whether his friends did tell him what oral sex was, he said yes,suddenly i felt a sense of relief that i could save myself then i asked him what his friends' explanation was,he then said they said it was just kissing with mouth and tongue.

Now i was in another quandary, to agree with his friends' explanation, close file but leaving him with false knowledge or to tell him that next time he better look for me if in doubt for his friends are feeding him rubbish then i can amplify the pomposity of the "How great papa" i would be.

So i came up with a plan of explaining a bit and save a little bit and to only explain the remaining when the right time arose, so i said," Jo, i can only explain this to you now and will explain more when Marvell is not around ok?" he nodded then i said.

"oral sex has got something to do with mouth,and sexual organs but then again this is only one kind of gobbledygook for sex, hard to explain one, so papa will explain when i gather more information ok? Period.

Can you share with me the best way to explain oral sex to my 14 years old boy? i knew he would come back asking for more.

P/S : Painfully explaining a plain truth......


  1. Today's world not the same lah... Just go ahead and tell them when they ask - at least, you can be sure they get it right...not some distorted version from a friend.

    Ah long as it's not somebody making a proposition - to have oral sex with your son, it's ok...and that's another reason why you should explain everything clearly man-to-man. Time has changed, things are different now... Anything an happen, you'll never know.

  2. awkward question is awkward, I don't know how I'll be explaining @_@ I'll definitely pause XD

  3. hello.

    i think you should just explain and tell him about it. jovial is no longer a boy, he is now becoming a man. tell him the truth.

    if you don't i'm sure that he will be full of curiousity and will find it himself.

    14 is no longer a 'probation' period, it is the time the transitional time from a kid to teenager. it is his right to know everything and when he asked you, he trusted you fully.

    tell the thruth. the right way and the wrong. i'm sure you'll be surprised how actually he has grown up :)


  4. hey, it is good to tell them.. why not.. at least they know what oral sex is so that they know if anything were to happen or someone might give them wrong information... or anything can happen, right.. so it is best to explain what it is before anyone tried to force it on them... I think i will tell my girl this evening.. :)

  5. Yalor, I agreed with the rest... just go ahead and tell him, but before that googled online for the pros and cons of oral sex( like, it induces oral cancer), at least make him wary a bit!

    Btw, well done that you told him you'll gather more information! You boy will be proud since you took seriously of his question. If something I don't know, I'll also tell my girl that I'll read up for her!;D

  6. should be a little bit reserved bro. :p

  7. ya, ya kinda so hard to explain...

    well, just tell the truth, nowadays kids are so different, by not giving the proper infos or answers, they'll get it wrongly from others outside there.

    all the best eugene, i know you can !!!

  8. t is easier than explaining why our dirty old fart Chief Minister at 72 is marrying a 28 years old.( he said he is 71 and the poor girl is 31.

  9. it will be awkward....very awkward...

  10. Well, a tough question from kid. It is hard to not answer, it is also hard to explain in details. I can understand your situation. Probably you can find a good time, just the two of you, and you start up to tell him your findings before he asks again.
    "Curiousity kills a cat."

  11. Good to let him know. whay not? I reckon with the rest as well.

  12. I guess children today mature very early and they get lots of unfiltered information from many sources, e.g. Internet.

    I agree with STP that the world is different now. It's hard to explain but hiding the fact will not stop them from finding it themselves. At least you won't give Jovial something incorrect, like his friends did.

    Wait for an appropriate time and feed him then :)

  13. I have two boys too who will soon become 14 in a blink of an eye, but I already had my version if they ever pops out this question. *wink*

    But before I tell them the fact, I would still tap on their naive mind that its not a hygienic thing to do, just in case his friends wanna try it on him.... *tongue stuck out*
    I hope at age 14, they will still go *YUCK* at the thought. *fingers crossed*

  14. i will blush like shit ... ahhaha... never am good at confrontation like this. ENVY how you handle it well. do update the outcome, am curious.

  15. kids grow up faster these days. I reckon you have been doing a good job thus far being honest with the facts of life.

    Maybe have to tell him that in future have to ask these questions only in private.

  16. Hmmm, tough question =_=
    I think majority of the readers agree with telling him the truth..
    Good luck to you!!

  17. Haha!! You were really caught off guard, weren't you?

    I think just tell the truth and give the full picture. People are now having sex as young as 12!! So better for your son to know before he finds out himself from other unreliable sources!

    And good luck to you of course! : D

  18. For all you know I would think otherwise. Your son sure knows about it but *testing* to see how you handle it or wanna make sure and get confirmation from a very stable man, his very own dad.

    Why! Simple reason Jovial is 14 and its so easy to get info from friends and he has the most easy available 'walking dictionary' with him. By just keying in the 2 words "oral sex" into the computer screen all answers with words and pixz would appear right in front of his eyes. Go bro go! Please tell him the truth nothing but the plain truth.

  19. aiyo!!!!!! u make me afraid to know what i have to face in the future!!!! next time i'll tell ethan, ask uncle eugene! :P

  20. Hehehe... I must learn from you. But pat yourself on the back that your boy is asking YOU, and being so open with YOU. I know kids these days don't talk abt these stuff with the parents.. Neither did I when I was that age. I learnt from Mills & Boon

  21. I will be speechless if any kid ask me this question. Just tell him what he wants to know about sex, it's better to receive from his dad rather than any other source. :)

  22. I will never be able to answer that question, if it is being asked to me. On second thought though, explanation could be the best solution..:))

  23. well..those days we never ask. I guess they will know when they get older.

  24. Gosh Eugene, kids thesedays. Frankly I wouldnt know what to say to my child if she asked me the same question too

  25. Haha, your boy has grown up, asking such sensible questions. Anyway, don't worry, you are just one soure of info, but a trusted one.

  26. wow tough question, but you did really well.