He didn't look pleased at all when i sat down with him for lunch the other day, as a good friend, i asked what was wrong with him then agitatedly he blurted," My seow boh lah. (in English it means, my lunatic wife),she's a real nag and i am not talking to her two days already"
Casually i said to him may be his wifey was concerned about his safety going out drinking,( My friend is liquor supplier) before i could continue,he reiterated, " She should know what i do ma, but insistenly she just nags and nags and this time i am not going to talk to her"
Enough of my friend's personal account of his chagrin towards his wife and his vexation that seeing him not talking to his wife or in short i call this " Silent treatment" or a "cold war" .
Personally i think silent treatment or cold war is a terrible thing to happen in a marriage,(ok you might say it happens almost in every marriage) but then again i wonder have you ever tried to put ourselves in the shoes of the one in the receiving ends of our silent treatment.
Now thinking of it, i feel so guilty of my own launches of " cold wars" against my lovely wife umpteen times over the 14 years of our marriage, the unreasonable side of me, she might have stomached enough of my "cold treatments" i just felt so bad during the course of the "cold war" before the truce.
How could i put someone i love so dearly through this mental anguish, and when she asked meekly and gingerly "Anything wrong with you ka?" flippantly i responded," Nothing" and this nothing is a signal that i don't want to talk and she is like lost.
In retrospect, i must try not to do this again, giving me lovely wife any "silent treament" for i know it is not at all nice on the receiving side, if i could do this i would write down this statement a hundered time," I shall never give her Silent Trement ever again" akin to the one i wrote when i small," i will never cheat again"
Note : It is not nice at all i reckon to be on the receiving side of the "Silent Treament"
以心交心，
P/S : To be a better, think on behalf of others
sometimes I do commit this "Crime" too. :p
ReplyDeleteIn my case, it's the opposite. I'm the one who nags and nags a lot... Getting tired of it - perhaps should try the silent treatment too... :(
ReplyDeleteYes, it happens in marriage.. i experienced it once those days too.. very torturing one!!
ReplyDeleteIn one way or another in a marriage life, there are bound to be some problem with the relationship and you have to brace yourself to solve it. :)
ReplyDeleteTired to nag liao la... say 3 times and no response for that, I will let it be...fed up... dun nid to talk!
ReplyDeletesometimes it's better to be silent than to hv war.
ReplyDeleteHmm... it happens on me too! I guess its 'pretty normal'? But of course the most important thing is to know when to stop the war and communicate with each other....
ReplyDeleteHave a nice day Eugene!
I agreed with Wenn, instead of igniting a fire, it's better to keep silent for awhile until the other party cool down! Perhaps a grace period for both... my 2 cents!:)
ReplyDeleteHappy Monday!
I agree with Wenn. If launch war sometimes we'll say something that we dont mean and it will be like a thorn in a marriage
ReplyDeleteYa don't have cold war with your partner. Without saying out, he/she wouldn't know what you are angry or unhappy with. Hence the problem won't going to solve and snow ball will roll bigger and bigger. During the war I would replied my hb question angrily and giving him a "chance" to apologize to me, and a "chance" for me to pour out my anger too haha.
ReplyDeleteSilent treatment is a kind of torment to the person who receive it. It happens to my marriage and I bet most couples experience it.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately not many spouses (who initiates the war) realize the effect it caused to his/her other part. If only many were thinking like you...
I am the one who always give the silent treatment but that usually won't last more than 3 days. He is wiser now that he knows he has to wait until I cool down and break the silence myself than trying to trigger the already erupting volcano. :)
ReplyDeletemost of the time it's us women giving the hubby the cold war. but it doesn't really work all the time, coz after many years, the hubs learn to just shrug away and ignore us until we are willing to talk again. no flowers. no diamonds. chech.
ReplyDeleteI don't know anything about marriage but I think communication is the best to know each other feeling than being silent like everything is 'okay'. Problem can't be solved with a 'silent treatment' right haha... Have a nice day Uncle Eugene ^^
ReplyDeleteHusband n wife do fight or quarrel, etc. what is mostimportant is getting out of it. be mature. the silent treatment is something immature i reckon. communication is key. if u go in to silent treatment n able to walk out of it is good. many factors here like ego, who's wrong, blaming. there is no 100% couples but we must admit our wrongdoings n move on lor.
ReplyDeleteMost of the time...when i am having the unstable mood swings...i prefer to keep silent...but this makes my other half miserable and i feel guilty...
ReplyDeleteBut we never let things go forever...better to let out and share and discuss...then love will be more kuat..
Take care Eugene!
when my ex give me that cold shoulder thingy, i ended up crying... cos i really clueless what when wrong. very annoying!
ReplyDeletei still not married, but reading all the comment make me scared want to get married. what????!!! all couple do that???Uhhhhh
ReplyDeletecan't imagine that. huhuhu
In the end,it is to know our own responsibility as a husband,a wife, a father and others..........
ReplyDeleteby the way...Goldflower, sorry for giving you the phobia of getting married, anyway,marriage is wonderful dont fret,ya
ReplyDelete