Monday, July 05, 2010

Shall we talk................

Sometimes it really boggles me as how open can married couple truly be, can we really confide in our spouse, can we really be open to each other? or do we just manfest through our moods and feelings hoping that our partner can see through our moods (good or bad) in determining our needs and wants, give you a few good examples.

My good lady friend once told me she did not even know how her husband was doing in his job untill the housing loan ran into several months in arrear, the apartment maintenence fees also had been many months behind schedule. When i asked her why didn't she ask her husband then before the "screw up" she said she tried but the husband had always been non-chalant.

And even for me, during the past one week i have not been "intimate" with my lovely wife as i really wanted to, but presumption was that she needed a lot of rest for speedy recovery, everything else was secondary but deep inside of me was that really what i really thought? I mean i really wanted her to have good rest, but could i be telling her during this time my want?

I read in the sunday Star yesterday, it was startling enough to learn that through the internet we have begun to see the rise of cheating husbands and even the cheating wives. Wonder why it is so?

If two can lie naked, what else is there can be not talked out loud, just wonder again and am learning still.

P/S : We only need one mouth to talk but two ears to listen... God knows our weekness.


  1. to be husband n wife is really not that easy huh? hmmm

  2. better mentally prepare before marriage :)

  3. i cried last nite over the same topic. i am wondering why i could talk about so many craps with my hb. but then i am clueless on how to tell him what i thought abt our intimate relationship. maybe on the fear that he might feel inferior that i am asking more than what he could provide? b4 marriage, we thought that we could talk better and openly abt it after the marriage, but until today i still couldn't find the courage, and instead shows it thru my mood. i am really concern that one day one of us would start looking out somewhere else to fill the void..

    it's easy for someone unmarried to say that we should have talk it over instead of thinking abt cheating as an easy way out. but in reality, i wish things are really that straightforward.

  4. Worse between parents and children! Some do not even know what their parents are doing. I wonder what kind of relationship they have at home...

    Many couples stop talking when the children come, they talk only to them...and when the children have grown and left home, they find that they have forgotten how to talk to one another... The Empty House Syndrome - empty even though there ARE still two people living together in it!

  5. I believe this is quite a common issue for most couples... However, I personally feel that honesty is the most important ingredient in a relationship.
    I love the phrase 'If two can lie naked, what else is there can be not talked out loud'.

    All the best!

  6. Communication is important in a marriage, but sometimes it's better we be quiet till it's time to talk.

    The Internet is not the reason to accuse husbands of cheating their wives. It may not be cheating at all; it could be a sign that something is missing in the marriage that needs to be worked out.

  7. maybe we assume to much or taken each other for granted

  8. Reminds me of an article I read about choosing a partner with talking skills because years down the road, that could be the only thing (talking) that'll bind the relationship, or something like that.

    The trouble with people is that we expect others to read our mind. I always believe in, you don't speak up, no one will know what you want. And if you don't ask, you'll never know for sure. It's better to be a fool for a minute than to be a fool for life. A quote I picked up that comes in handy whenever I was between asking and not asking. Keep up your spirits. Life could be much worse.

  9. Usually the women does want all the talking and listening, wherelse men seems non-chalanent.

    My boyfriend seem to have lots of things in his mind, it shows on his face, until I asked him and then only he tells me.

    Communication takes two to work.

  10. I'm all for open communications!! However, there are always something if it's not good to say it out, whicvh will hurts the relationship..then don't mentioned it.

  11. Eugene, you are a wise man. You know when to talk and when to keep your mouth shut so I guess you know the answer to this one.

    Her hand (tendon) is injured but the rest of her is still intact. Treat her as how you've all these while, just add in a little more care and tenderness. Be gentle :)

  12. Being husband and wife is a life long challenge! Wishing your lovely wifey a speedy recovery! All the best!

    Have a great day ahead!

  13. Some men thinks we're just cari pasal with them when we try to talk to them. Typical, chauvinistic ass! Enough said... some things will never change. I am skeptical of it, bro.

  14. I like this post of yours. It is really difficult to TALK to my hubby too...on some stuffs. The mouth just can't open. He is the same too......sigh !

  15. DesperateHousewifeJuly 10, 2010 at 5:45 AM

    how about you had already told him those concerns in your mind and he promised would look into it but.... it's all talk, no action