Wednesday, June 16, 2010

What makes me sad,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

You know there is something that i really must come to term with my ownself, to knock my own head and drum in some sense to my obstinate belief i can still call them my own...... of which the same belief i must now forsake to save myself from more heartaches.

My lovely wife has always asked me don't be so sad about me not having close sibling bond like hers for sometimes i do get jealous of her for having such a healthy and close relationship with her sibling. I remember once i got jealous of her when comes her birthday, she will always get birthday calls from her sibling, for me i have waited for 44 years and none is forthcoming.

Now i must come to understand that, it is ok if my lil sister does not see eye to eye with me, it does not matter now. I've always longed for a good bond with my lil sister but i've failed thus far and i am not trying again.


It is ok for me now to hear this again from my own nephew saying something like this. " if uncle Eugene is going to that function then i am not going." I touched my heart and telling myself that if he (My nephew) were to get bitter with me just because i rebuked him, then it is no longer my problem for i shall not meddle with him anymore as well.


I really dont mind now, if one of my sisters saying this again, " Eugene can talk only, lips service" i touched my heart i know that i have done my part as a brother and there is so much i can do, and there is no more for me to worry about who and who is not doing all right.


I got rather hurt when another nephew of mine litterally took my name down from his blog, and barring me from registering as his "follower" i asked myself what did i do that could spur this nephew of mine to hate me so much but now i really dont mind.

I really dont mind now, if my mother wishes to stay mum when i ask about how who is who is doing?

Life is funny, a friend of mine who does not have any siblings once shared this with me," i rather have some brothers or sisters hating me, than having none at all, may be one day we will reconcile and we shall be back to the fold, but for me i have nothing" well said Jim.

The reason for me ranting about this is because over the weekend, i almost broke down and cried when one of my brother in laws asked me this, " it seems to me that most of the family members dislike you so much but dont worry i know you and i know what type of man you are" that's my sole consolation from another family member. And the same brothe in law of mine always calls me with this moniker " Vigilante" hahahahah.


P/S : 我相信肝胆相照 以诚待人,我也相信,问心无愧,尽力而为。

22 comments:

  1. Well...sometimes it takes time bro. :(

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  2. hmm...有时候,人就是这,总喜欢把外人当亲人,把亲人当外人。 没关系,只要问心无愧就好了。

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  3. It makes me sad too... In my family, we are closer on my mum's side. My father's side, quite a problem - a lot of politics. Our generation - we try to be closer and not have squabbles like the elders though. They say,blood runs thicker than water...but more often than not, I have better friends...than relatives. Sigh! Life is like that.

    Come, come...which dinner are you going to? I'll go with you, my brother, my friend.

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  4. I can only imagine how sad you must feel... I feel sad enough when friends reject me, how much worse it must be when family rejects you... dont give up tho', keep praying keep the faith, one day they'll understand and see that you are a good man =)

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  5. chin up! as long as you know you are doing the right thing... sooner or later your sister & nephews will realise your good intentions :-).

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  6. 我深深为你感到难过,也非常了解你的痛。。。因为我夫家的人在我家翁去世时也说过“如果我出席家翁的葬礼,她们就不出席!。。。。”

    我想..樹多必有枯枝,人多必有白癡!

    对白癡...kong ma bo yong...

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  7. I am not really close with my cousins. HEhehe

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  8. Time will tell. Whatever it is never give up on love. I believe one day your siblings will look for you but dont wait the time..I know its hard. Been in that situation too..all my cousins dislike me due to broken relationship of my parents with their parents. But as we grew older, we knew..blood is thicker than water..keep faith!

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  9. no need to be sad.. 家家有本难念的经 and if you have done your best, it's nothing to be sad...

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  10. nvm bro...you always have brothers and sisters here with us.

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  11. Hey, I thought you and your lil sister has smoked the peace pipe?

    Blood is always thicker than water.

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  12. unfortunately, things like this happens. Eugene, I'm not close to my sisters too.. no matter how much I tried. So.. sometimes, we just have to seek our own happiness..

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  13. Your problem here sound so familiar. haha...my family also experience such problem. We can't please everyone in the world.

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  14. When there's conflicts amongst the family, it always hurts. I'm the type of person that wouldn't settle the cold shoulder attitude from my family. I'll make the time and place to try to resolve the issue. If it fails, it least I know I tried. During the successful conversations, I find that 99.9% is due to bad gossips that led the other person to believe in the lies. The talk cleared up the misunderstanding. I don't know if you feel comfortable taking this direct talk approach.

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  15. My heart goes out to you, Eugene, but nevermind, you've got a wonderful family - lovely wifey and great kids. Cheer up! Life is what we make of it, not due to external forces. Take care..

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  16. Eugene,..bo tua tai chee lah .your wife is simply - LUCKY. you not so ,i not so ...and so are those out there - not so LUCKY. blame it on luck,okey brthr? you just came the other evening to my little run-down-dilapidated cottage deep in the wood,telling me that Ernesto che Guevaras don't easily give up..,right? so don't give up yet,if you still wants to make it up with your siblings.if you feels that there's not much point left,it's a choice and a choice is neither good or bad in some point of our lives.you have so many other "outlets" to turn to,to add spices into your life,good buddies to turn to and younno what? a lot of people out there ain't that resourceful as you.i'm among them...so,it's alright!

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  17. Eugene

    At times I wish I have siblings also. I dont really know how it feels like having siblings. I guess you'll never miss what you didnt have at the begining. But I guess having siblings will have their ups and downs gua. Blood is thicker than water

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  18. Okay, i come seek u when in penang.. we r bro and sis, right? no problem.. i will never say, "If eugene comes meet me, i rather not go to pg..."

    cheer up, bro...

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  19. eugene dont feel so sad...

    let it go...

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  20. Some things in life works better when they are operating separately, but its always the law of the universe that when you wanted to perform even better you will eventually needs the other to excel even better in life. At the moment just do what you think is right, give them their own space to enjoy what they think they needed. Keep them in prayer and always be positive about your desire to have a good relationship again with them. All the best bro =)

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  21. i agree with broccoli ginger...it happens...but i am sure one day they will realize it

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