What makes me sad,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

You know there is something that i really must come to term with my ownself, to knock my own head and drum in some sense to my obstinate belief i can still call them my own...... of which the same belief i must now forsake to save myself from more heartaches.

My lovely wife has always asked me don't be so sad about me not having close sibling bond like hers for sometimes i do get jealous of her for having such a healthy and close relationship with her sibling. I remember once i got jealous of her when comes her birthday, she will always get birthday calls from her sibling, for me i have waited for 44 years and none is forthcoming.

Now i must come to understand that, it is ok if my lil sister does not see eye to eye with me, it does not matter now. I've always longed for a good bond with my lil sister but i've failed thus far and i am not trying again.


It is ok for me now to hear this again from my own nephew saying something like this. " if uncle Eugene is going to that function then i am not going." I touched my heart and telling myself that if he (My nephew) were to get bitter with me just because i rebuked him, then it is no longer my problem for i shall not meddle with him anymore as well.


I really dont mind now, if one of my sisters saying this again, " Eugene can talk only, lips service" i touched my heart i know that i have done my part as a brother and there is so much i can do, and there is no more for me to worry about who and who is not doing all right.


I got rather hurt when another nephew of mine litterally took my name down from his blog, and barring me from registering as his "follower" i asked myself what did i do that could spur this nephew of mine to hate me so much but now i really dont mind.

I really dont mind now, if my mother wishes to stay mum when i ask about how who is who is doing?

Life is funny, a friend of mine who does not have any siblings once shared this with me," i rather have some brothers or sisters hating me, than having none at all, may be one day we will reconcile and we shall be back to the fold, but for me i have nothing" well said Jim.

The reason for me ranting about this is because over the weekend, i almost broke down and cried when one of my brother in laws asked me this, " it seems to me that most of the family members dislike you so much but dont worry i know you and i know what type of man you are" that's my sole consolation from another family member. And the same brothe in law of mine always calls me with this moniker " Vigilante" hahahahah.

P/S : 我相信肝胆相照 以诚待人，我也相信，问心无愧，尽力而为。