Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Can money mend and bend a marriage?

I have this coffee buddy whilst waiting to pick my eldest son from school at noon, known him since the start of school holiday, i love to chat up people and getting to know a new friend or two during my so called "spare time", therefore it means to say that i have known this friend for like 3 months now, and seriously we are like good friends.

Intially, he sounded incredeously when he asked me how come i had time to pick my son up almost every afternoon, didn't i have work to do, he'd ask. I told him what i did, and in return i asked him the same question, but he always blushed me off when this question was raised to him, untill.......................

Untill one day, when the same question was asked,he finally shared with me what he actually did. He said he was a businessman dealing with air-con contracts, doing well untill he was overwhelmed by huge debts that eventually battered his business, since then he was like doing odd jobs now.

When he lost his laurel of earning a good money, he was in way needing his wife's support to supplement the expenses of the household, he lamented to me that everything was all right, no complain what so ever, along the way his wife was introduced by her friend to dabble in insurance business on a part time basis.

Not long after which his wife found her niche and forte in selling insurance and she dived into it full time and gradually her income grew and grew and that's when my friend's malaise began as he shared with me.

His wife began to turn cold towards my friend, and his wife told him not to worry about finding a job and instead telling to look after the household that included fetching the children, my friend thought it was a good arrangement as he could still juggle house chores with odd jobs.

Things got a little aggravated when his wife began to calling him names such as "scumbag" " useless bum" and unkind words and his wife began to come home late at night telling him that she had to secure business.

I could sense his discomfort when sharing this with me, and immediately i told him it was not as bad as he thought and suddenly he said this to me, " you'll never know how it feels like when your wife earns so much more than you do, eugene" and i was stunned and i reitereated," look Moy, my wife earns more than i do, but we are all right." feeling a little offended my friend then said," well may be you've got a good wife, Eugene"

He got a little incensed when he told me that his wife sometimes would not be home untill midnight, and when he got worried about her,he called and she would always told him that she was still in a business meeting.

Thank god the timing was right, it was 1.15 pm, and jokingly i told him we needed to becoming a house husband,,,, hahahah. Despondently, he walked with me to pick up our youngs.

I really dont know what happened inside within his family,could he have acted as if he has lost hope and behave pessimitically and because suddenly the wife became so industrious and that got her mad, i really dont know.

Is a man a scumbag or useless when he earns less than his spouse, i wonder?

P/S : I thought love could conquer all.......but then again


  1. money is angel and also devil.

    it is ok for wife to work but totally work until ignore family is a failure either mother or wife.

    i disagree with her to call her husband useless.

    I WONDER she has do something bad outside!

  2. Is a man a scumbag or useless when he earns less than his spouse? That is open to debate.

    In your friend's case, if he is telling the truth, then he is not useless nor a scumbag. It's not easy for your friend to juggle work and kids.

    There are some boys(I wont call them man as a man would not have done that) who would whine about wife making more money but does nothing about it for himself.

    The "boys" would just louse around and make no move to improve own condition. Kept waiting for hand out from spouse or parents.

  3. Money is not everything, but it is something. I dun look down on men who earn less than their wife...well...it's just the figure, I guess.

  4. money does strange things to people not accustomed to its allure & addiction. your friend's wife is just acting according to the script & who can blame her for that. your friend is disappointed he can't be the man of the house, but everything that goes around, comes around.

    justice will be served, sooner or later.

  5. Since the biblical period, men has always been portrayed as the main breadwinner for the household. It's a protrayal that's taken a long time to shift or shake off. Unfortunately, some men still see it as be all and end all to the status in the family.
    However, different circumstances call for different measure so when a wife earns more than the husband, it might not be a quite a straightforward event that leads to the arrangement.
    I am quite lucky to have be given a choice and even happier to choose to become a stay at home mum. But my husband runs his own business and things could easily shift with a click of a finger. Atthe end of the day, does it matter who earns more? As long as the family is well taken care of, i think that's what matters the most. Then again, this is my personal opinnion. X

  6. sure ! money can sure mend,bend and save a marriage(i put my money on that).BUT remember,...money can't really mend a chronic illness - that's the time miracle comes along & play.when i gave my wife more pocket money for certain months,she's all smile and many happy with me.so,...when i gave her less,...she frowns and sulks(*...sigh*,women...)

  7. money is actually very important too in a marriage.

  8. money is important for life,
    if a man/bf without money, then girl wil start look down or leave that guy, how realistic are the girls now...

    so money is important for all aspects..

  9. Of course it can. It depends on both parties priorities. :D

  10. Money is not everything that does not mean no money is good. Without money you don't really have a voice and influence in this world.
    Even all the religious leaders need millions and millions of donation just to carry out their works and spread their influence.

  11. hmmmmm hard to say, maybe that is why many men remain single these days bcs the women are climbing up the corporate ladder so fast?

  12. I don't think that a man that earns less than his wife is a scumbag. Its the attitude that makes a scumbag.

  13. Hmm his wife seem starting to cold shoulder him. Pity him and agreed that his wife really a realistic woman.

  14. @Ah Ngao... not all women are like that. =( My husband dun give me pocket money to spend... and truthfully,I am happiest when there's just enough to put a roof over my head, enough food on the table and enough for my brat's education. Money doesn't make me happy. It depress me. Besides, men with money, tend to stray...you see, men are forgetful creature. Sometimes, when they become rich, they tend to forget their root, and forgot who had been supporting them all these while, and erection tends to go the wrong way-mistress, gf, call girls, you name it. So, for me... money... is good to me, only when it is just enough to sustain my life.

  15. cleffairy : hi ! mmmm...you're a good gal.yeah,in fact i respects many of your good points BUT,at times and quite often too,poor man's erection goes astray too.it's not solely the monies to be blamed lah.it's each individual upbringing,each individual doctrines.having the extra monies isn't evil at all,it's a matter of how you use it.and don't forget,rich lonely or love-deprived-of women also the same as those men labelled as "kaki perempuan".

  16. It depends whether it is a maternity society or a fraternity society.

    Male and female have thier respective roles in life especially in the place called FAMILY.

    $ sign is vital but communication even more important in life.

    I grew up in a very little material world and till now still nothing much at home, but happiness is there when friends show the cares and loves and vice versa.

  17. my mom was the bread winner when my dad lost his business during the recession. but i never heard her calling name to my dad and my dad diligently took after us, in fact he took care of us much better i must say. he pass away 3 yr ago, i really miss him cos i thk my mom is better at working (govt sector)and dad better at caring.