Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Learning to be a better father.....................

Yesterday i had my company's small scale end year dinner, so when i asked my Jovial (my eldest,13) if he wanted to join me along with my lovely wife and my lil one Marvell, he said no on the pretext that he had homwork to do and he was afraid that it might be kind of late for him.

I was thinking man this boy was doing all the right thing, wasn't he? Knowing his responsibility and priorities, so i said ok lah, he could absent himself from the dinner.

The dinner ended early (9.40), on the way back called him up asked if he wanted supper, he said no. Soon i arrived home, as i opened the door, i saw my Jovial busy fiddling with the computer and playing the online game, at this point i was infuriated by what i saw, i raised my voice at him and telling him to turn off the PC straight away, disdainly he did what he was told.

Frrom the look of his face, i could tell that he was dissappointed and frustrated as his fun was immediately ended, giving me a kind of funny look, he marched into his bedroom. My anger was boiling further by this act of his.

Usually, for this instance, i would really rush into the room, raised my voice and give him a good lecture, but i halted for a while, gain my composure then i walked into the room, woo him up and telling him how i felt about the whole situation with the nicest tone of voice and how i felt cheated by the pretext that he used for the playing of the online game.

Towards the end of the chat, i gave him a hug and kissed him on the forehead and telling him" I Love You and good night" and i felt better too.

Boy, he is sure to be growing up and boy i am sure needing to change the way i handle him.

P/S : Yesterday was not the same as today.......................


  1. Well I behave that b4. Giving excuse that I got more important thing to do rather than accompany my mom to attend certain event. I felt bored and doesn't like to social with my mom's frens. Well I never think on my mom side. But it's ok to accept that when they small they cried and beg to follow you out but not when they grow elder. Tell him just be frank that he doesn't want to tag along without need to create some excuse.

  2. *sigh* give him a break, Eugene... teenagers like to have privacy and their own space. He would want his own time instead of just tagging you a long everywhere. He's not a child anymore. I used to be like that... lazy lah, follow parents everywhere, entertaining people who wun gv a damn about you and putting up a damn insincere smile for people's benefit while deep inside, it's just goddamn boring. =(

    This is not the old age anymore where kids are for show in public places... where they hv to sit down, let ppl look at them and yet not give a damn about them. What good will it do to him to attend such dinner anyway? he wun be having ppl to tok to too. Best for him to stay home and do whatever he want.

    Eugene, you are now dealing with a teenager, not a 5 years old child. Teenagers have mind of their own, and if you keep let him stick to you too much, he won't be independent. Be careful of how you handle him, or he will resent you. Trust me, i was a teenager once, and I definitely resent it when my parents dun gv me my own space. :(

  3. The weird thing is...I love to tag along with my parents whereever I go especially my dear mama. :D

    But well...most of the kids don't wanna be seen as uncool to have their parents hovering over them.

  4. Hmm... I agree with cleffairy. Give him a break. If I were him, I will feel god damn frustrated.

  5. I think this is a lesson he wont forget so soon. Maybe when he his own blog later in life, he would also blog about this. How his father gave him tender words when he expected a scolding

  6. cleffairy is right... but
    it is good to tell truth that he want to play games at home in order to pretext do homework.

    but he still a children... maybe he scared that you not allow him to stay at home if he give you the true answer so have to pretext a bit.

    I think i will act like you too. (but i need to control myself not do that). i understand online games is damn attractive! hehehehe sometimes can plan until not need to eat. self-disciplined is important.

  7. my girl also doesnt follow me to dinners nowadays.. depends.. so whether she plays the computer at home or studying, i dont really mind.. as long as she is in the house.. :)

  8. For me i will sure follow my parent~ because every time follow them sure got nice food to makan =D~

    Well Eugene, i guess this is the different between boys and girls. Girls normally will stick with their parents more than boys. So i guess it is quite common thing and not only happened in your family, it also happened to others. Nowadays the kids just too addicted with their computer games. Quite sad right? Or maybe i am too outdated? ^_^"

  9. I just hope that your son will read your blog~ because he is so lucky to have you as his father.

  10. @Adrian... lol... sometimes, the kids are not just addicted. Even though I am a girl, I prefers to not follow my parents to these sort of events during my teenage years. It's just plain boring. What can teenagers do over there? Ntg. Just sit there, eat and shut up. =(

    I would agree with Claire. As long as the boy stays home and not go out for rempit-ing and whatnot...you shouldn't be so upset.

  11. And one more thing... I wouldn't really give a care... as long as the brat of mine will excel in studies, he's welcome to any goddamn indoor or outdoor games available. That's a part of modern way to grow up, something about his childhood that he will tell his children about.

  12. are you really upset by the fact that he did not work on his homework but play games, or the fact that he sort of cheated you?

    does it really matter that he enjoy his games as long as his studies is not affected?

    in teenagers years, if he did not enjoy himself with online-ing, maybe you would start to worry. It's really the norm these days.

    Just try to take it easier. Don't just feel that your son ought to do so and so but try to understand him.

    You shouted at him once you get home might make him feel your presence an annoyance if it happens too many time..


    I hope I did not offend anyone.. just an opinion.. ^.^

  13. Bear in mind, he's a teenager and usually he will "ditch" you whenever he cans.

    Teenager mah... don't want to see with parents around.

  14. my boy would rather stay at home playing online games rather than going out for jalan-jalan.

  15. @cleffairy nice to meet you.. lol then i guess i am a different case because i just too close with my parents.... but still i quite agree with you, is better they stay at home rather than going outside with their friends... =)

  16. we all went through that phase before as teenagers! I would know exactly what my child was thinking, cos I used to be 'cheeky' too haha...

  17. @Adrian... lol... actually, I am daddy's girl. But i dunno why la... i like to be given freedom and my own space. =.=