Wednesday, January 06, 2010

"None of my business" indeed it is...

I went to pick my eldest Jovial back from school yesterday as it was his first day in Sec one, and as i was there 45 minutes early, i was chatting up with some ladies who were waiting for their children too, then suddenly i saw this...........

I saw two boys walking passed us, puffing away in school uniform, i couldn"t help myself and then i walked up to the boys and spoke to them in Mandarin and i said," Hey boys, did you know that smoking is no good and did you parents know that you guys smoked?"

Disdainly they looked at me and i was dumbfounded with one of the boys' respond to my question, and scarcastically he said," Our parents dont even care,and so it is none of your business."

My guess is these two boys could only be about 15 or 16 of age, and they must be real bold in smoking away donning their school uniform and blatantly doing in the school vicintiy. I didn't get angry with them and before i walked away, i just said this to the boys," Smoking is cool but it is still no good,"

You know in my eldest son school, there are hundred and one school rules to restrain, to control, to curtail or to whatever the rules do to prevent the students from turning bad, and sometimes i really wonder, does it work?

I guess one of the golden rules that we fail to practise as and adult is the rule of LISTENING, these boys and girls need to be heard and not to be gagged by this rule and that rule.

I am always intrigued by the reasons why a child can turn bad. What do you think?

P/S : When we listen, we are making someone happy................

20 comments:

  1. recently i went to KL and my sil told me that in her children's school, there are many kids from broken homes and families.. most cases are similiar.. ie. parents are not in.. most times, the kids are left alone in the house, they like to stay over at frens', parents going outstation and leaving them to fend for themselves.. i was shocked to hear that.. i guess in bigger towns, the spending power is greater and thus less time at home?

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  2. really very sad..i sometimes wonder why there are parents who dont make time to educate their children. i can understand parents are busy earning a living but if you are not going to teach the children, it is best not to have them.

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  3. most problem kids comes from broken homes or parents just too busy to care. sad, ain't it ?

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  4. when i was teaching in school, we even caught some students smoking in the toilets.

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  5. There are some cases that the parents pampered the children too much and won't listen when someone inform them their children are smoking.

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  6. Teachers nowadays are like more like "toothless tiger". Used to be teachers have the power to use the cane and students respected them.

    Now? Scold the student louder a bit, the parents will go to complaint to various Kementerian.

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  7. the parents are busy earning to have their child buy cigarettes!! and I think I have some examples in my family too! not that they are from broken family, but parents just too busy with their own money earning method.

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  8. I agreed with Cynthia. Nowadays, parents are too busy at work. They got no time for their children and thus, the kids will find their own activities. Sad huh. I hope I can manage my time well in future.

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  9. Some parents didnt realize till their kids really go into trouble... they might thinks with those earning can compensate their times for togetherness..Yes those kids need to be listen and heard..

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  10. you did s good thing by advising the boys about smoking, but it's still up to them to decide.

    many times we would wonder the reasons why people do the things they do. until we understand, we should withhold our judgments.

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  11. Happy and healthy 2010 !This happens in Singapore too ! These kids , most of them just puff for fun or for the sake of showing their peers or others they are " grown up " and smoking is very " cool ".....sorry to say why aren't there any teachers patrolling outside the school to " catch " such students ? My son who is turning 19 next month always tell me his friends in his Poly smoke alot and they often offer and instigate him to join them but luckily my son is sensible enough to reject their offer and stay away from them when he sees them smoking outside the school.

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  12. I am so PROUD of you for caring enough to advise those boys. One day, they will remember what you said to them.

    I totally agree with manglish.Once I have kids, even though I work , I searched and found a great job that allowed me the REAL TIME with my kids.

    We got to put OUR PRIORITIES right.I always put my kids first but not that I will neglect other stuffs, like friends etc.

    As the children grow older, actually that is when they truly need us. Like you said, TO LISTEN to them.

    As for my kids, I make sure that they have whatever they need in our home. I have my hubby's blessings to retire to be a full time mother to my kids. THAT IS OUR WISEST INVESTMENT yet.I am sure in time, I will face less problems than most parents with the kids whom they cannot understand and who thinks " MY PARENTS DO NOT CARE!". To kids, a parent who cares will LISTEN and DISCUSS with them instead of SCOLDING as the only means of communications.

    Sad to say, I learned from my own mother to be a better mother.I provide to my kids what I did not have. GOD works in mysterious ways.

    As for schools, I feel that the student body nowadays is not mature enough to be respected by students. I was a Head Prefect. I was respected and was able to deal with fellow students, who smoke ,gamble and even ponteng school. A strong student body encourages fellow students to take care of each other instead of the teachers having to enforce school laws hence punishments all the time.As a Head Prefect I was given the TRUST by the students (as I was voted by them ) and the teachers to carry out my duties as the ultimate communicational bridge between students and teachers. Nowadays, students just do not respect authority.

    hugs,
    shakira

    hugs,
    shakira

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  13. sometimes, these kids are not from broken family. They are from a well-to-do family. Just that they dont have the proper guidance as their parents are always too bz with werk.

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  14. Even if the parents were exemplary parents, I believe humans being humans, and you are talking about a teenager here, they sometimes are just bent on testing the boundaries. And of course, to them, everything is new and exciting. With peer pressure, it is not impossible to succumb. They'll want to experiment. Of course, this is when the parents come into the picture. We have to be extra alert, extra extra alert and no harm in checking their bags (not necessary with their knowledge of course) ;)

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  15. I guess it all starts will the family first. Without proper guidance from parents, some children will wilt. :(

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  16. Agree with Reana. It's realy sad that too many children are left unattended bcoz of single family structures or both parents burn the midnite oil at the office.

    Kids nowadays succumb to peer pressure too, as smoking and shouting profanities makes them part of the "cool" group and makes them feel macho and adult.

    Good of you to care enough to chide them, but kids nowadays are not afraid to respond negatively. They are bold!
    +Ant+

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  17. yah, the same problem here bro. we really should not, never ever overlook the activities of our kids or the friends that they hang around with. i remember my old man's saying: " introduce to me your friends and i'll show you who you are..." it is not only because of broken homes or families the reasons why there are kids like this. one reason probably is neglect, and another is that we fail to build up a good foundation for them to grow up with. you see, if you really make an effort to instill and build up for them a good foundation, parents will never have these kind of problems. the problem really is us... the parents. sad but true... dropping by here today bro to greet you a belated merry chrsitmas and a happy new year 2010. ciao!!!

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  18. can sue them for smoking leh, coz underage wor..
    but parents are very hard to educate youngster now (i am not youngster already. =.="), coz they wouldn't listen...
    it's not 100% parents duty loh, so big already, 15/16 years old leh, should know what is right, what is wrong themselves ma..

    haih.. i dont like smokers one loh..

    apek smokers said - " u think i dont want quit meh? i also want but i CAN'T"

    youngster smokers said - "smoking is so cool, i want to learn"

    if can, should eliminate every cigarate la.. or at least like singapore loh.. smoking vs non-smoking area.. T.T

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  19. MOst of them likely influenced by some bad company. I'm always concern for kids around the age from 12-18 who mixes with the wrong company.

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  20. wow...and coming from school too! looks like school also doesn't care.

    Why they turn bad? Coz no one cares. parents first.

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