Friday, January 08, 2010

and I love her...........

Remember this song," If Loving you is wrong,then i dont want to be right" so that brings me to another question, why do couple get divorced when they once were so deeply in love,when they were once proclaiming to the whole world that one cannot live without another, that once he could stop the rain from falling if he is asked to.

I stumbled upon few blogs that talked about marriage,mostly the ones on the rock and i would like to share my thoughts on this as a married man, so here goes.

Fundamentally, i think we should all recognize that LOVE and Marriage are two different entities, two seperate departments that requires different attentions all together. So if one is not ready for responsibility,it would do a lot of good just to stay only in love.

We can do all those crazy things, echoing those LOVE songs that so profoundly describe how one should be when we are deeply in love and i truly agree to that,in fact we should be crazy when we are in love, " You to me are everything, the sweetest song that i can see oh baby," but if one were to elevate LOVE to Marriage, then it is different ball game all together.

Marriage comes with repsonsibilities, the responsibilites from both parties to make the Marriage works, to make it a success. I quote you an example, a true story of my dear friend.

She called off the marriage after 11 years in it, she loved her ex but she had one problem though, she had never been satisfied sexually,for her husband suffered pre-ejaculation sickness, she had tried to salvage the marriage by talking to the husband and asking him to seek medical advice. His ego had refrained him from seeking medical remedy,and eventually she filed for divorce.

He was supposed to be responsible for her wife's well being but he chose to shut an eye on her needs, and let his ego do the damage and continue living with it, so what can we say.

In Marriage, both must do one's part to rekindle the fire and stoke the flame, and i always hate this when i hear this," what's that to do, we have been married for so long already,no sparkle left."

In Marriage, both must do the best to be wanted by the other party, be sexy, be hot, be sensual be attentive and be caring. I always share with my friends this, my Marriage is just like my hobby, you see i love running, but if i were to run the same routes day in and day out, probably i'd fall out of this sport, therefore sometimes i have to take the trouble driving 10KMs away to change my running routes, there goes the same with marriage and sex too.

And i always believe that my wife is not a perfect wife but then again i am not a perfect husband either, one thing that we always manage to do, both of us are crazy therefore i am still crazily in love with her and vice versa.

Note : You dont have to go to the Carribean to make your marriage sexy, just two bottles of Heineken in a simple Kopitiam will also do the tricks

P/S : I might not be her prince charming, but i will always do my best to get her charmed


  1. Ehh... bro, I'm not so sure wud happen la...cuz it seems like only you and Claire have the problem posting comments in my blog. But Claire, i know, cuz her office block the traffic or something. =.= I allowed anonymous comments shouldn't have any problem. =.=

    I tested and commented as anonymous, and there's no error coming out of it oso... so now I pening liao.

    Did you try to login at the META there? If you did,actually you dun need to login anywhere... just straight go to the comment form...if you go to META there, it would mean you're trying to login into my account....

  2. True...marriage takes two to work on it.

  3. Eh, bro... my husband say, he thinks he knows where went wrong.

    You just need to un-tick the tiny little box that says

    'Authenticate this comment using'

    It's the tiny box that's appeared under the URL...

  4. LOL... I go seduce my husband now. *poof* arrrr.... wait he wonder what happened to drive me insane again. *SIGH*

  5. this sounds challenging... motivates me to get married.. :)

  6. Oh, very romantic husband.....and yes, I agreed with you that love and marriage are two different things. With love, marriage will be good thing for a couple, but marriage without love is calling for disaster. In marriage life, there are always ups and downs, it is like riding a rollercoaster. I am still learning to understand my other half, everyday I am learning something about him. And yes, I do not need a romantic vacation to spark up my love life, just a little gesture is good enough. :) Sometimes we tend to take each other for granted after we got married.

  7. Wow, as always. you nailed it. I love this post now Sir. cool.. i learned something, and that makes me inspired!

  8. agree...need to communicate and need to work on problems and not sit on it.

    and yes, will do it. Cos i tell it to him every single day :)

  9. i wonder if long married couple still find sex wif each other exciting? AHHAHAH....

  10. Agree..need two to tango. Communication, understanding and supporting is important..

  11. can't agree more that marriage is all about responsibility.

    btw, i think hoegaarden is better than heineken now =P

  12. sometimes marriage become stale coz everything become routine. Even the flirting part become too routine. Automated. Wake up, go to work, worry about $$, go home for dinner, sex 3x a week and zz.

    Weekend, for a romantic getaway

    husband : go where?
    Wife: duno. you chose.
    husband : cincai la. It's your turn
    Wife : cincai tembak la
    Husband : tembak wat

    Something like that la.

    Then, in come a colleague/friend. Chit chat. Started flirting. One thing lead to another.

    Bye bye marriage.

  13. IMHO, marriage is all about responsibilities, dedication and commitment. :) Marriage or love is all about the verb and not about the feeling. People nowadays are getting more...lazy to work hard. They wanna take the easy way out and find a simple solution-divorce. :(

  14. If you are happily married like I am now (since I remarried), we can say a lot of stuffs like WE ARE DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT but you know what? I have been in a really lousy marriage too for 12 years and I really do not like to say this but ex used to say things like you just said.It is like HE IS TRYING and I am not.He love telling people what a great husband he was!lol

    Now that I am WISER with a divorce, I really will never take things for granted. I will never assume too much as marriage is not just all about love or responsibilities right? One got to take account of FAITH, LIFE PATH and GOD KNOWS BEST.

    I am just blessed that I nearly died trying to SAVE my ex marriage to JUSTIFY getting a DIVORCE.Sad right?

    I am not DEFAMING you, Eugene and I am truly happy that you have a great marriage but I have been through enough to know that LOVE, SACRIFICES , RESPONSIBILITIES AND ALL THE PRAYERS cannot save a marriage if it is just not meant to be. That is what Muslim called TAKDIR.

    Honestly, when I married ex, he was also a divorcee and GOD, I have enough doubts but until now, I do not regret marrying him for he was part of my life and I have two lovely daughters because of the marriage.

    I have a lot of divorcees who did not like to divorce. Divorces are just really bitter. I also know a lot of married people who think it is OK to have a little fun when the marriage get bored and then wonder WHAT WENT WRONG!

    All I can say is...if you are happily married, just be blessed and do not condemned others, ok , bro?

    I am very happy to see you acknowledge that you are not imperfect just as your wife. Not a lot of men MEANT what they said though.