Wednesday, December 09, 2009

I am sad..............

Was having dinner with a very good friend and his son(who happens to be my Jovial's school mate) together with my family in a club, after the dinner, we sat by the poolside for some chit chat, another friend of mine then walked by, suddenly this friend invited me for a beer session, then out of nowhere, my Jovial uttered this to his friend after hearing my friend's invitation.......

"My father sure wants to drink beer, he is an alcoholic" i was caught in a awkward situation, one part me saying i wanted to have a good time, the other part of me saying " look Eugene, what have you done that got your son labelling you an alcoholic"

I guess as far as my son's impression of me as a alcoholic, thus far cannot not be dismissed as naysay, and i never knew that my having Good Times could leave such an impression to my son, may be it could be due to the frequency of my binging sessions, or my regular association with my beer buddies.

With the end year coming around, invitation of any sorts would be too hard to resist, but i know as a responsible father it will never be nice to be bad in the eyes of the children.

P/S : Resolution is passed, therefore determination must also come to pass


  1. Good morning, Eugene.

    Yes, perception molds thinking. Of course, one can put it right by either changing behaviour and/or taking the time to explain things out to come to an understanding. Life is like that. Have a nice day ahead nonetheless.

  2. don't be sad. please tell jovial that beer is the living proof that god wants us to be happy and i'm sure jovial wants his dad to be happy as well :)

  3. so u went to hv beer or didnt?

    or u explain to ur son what alcoholic means?

  4. lol.. dont be sad..
    haha.. 2 ways only..
    1) quit drinking now. .XD
    2) drink when your son not around. hahaha..

  5. As the kids grow up, I guess we have to teach by example.

    I am not sure how this goes....I sometimes don't know even if I am doing the right thing when I tell hubby he should cut down on his drinking sessions.

    All coz I am afraid that my son also sees it as something that he can do when he grows up and it goes out of hand.

    I am sad you are sad. Being a father figure to your boys sure aint easy.

  6. so did u go for the drink? i guess u did..
    to u, drinking beer is happy hour, a great time for u..
    to him, it is something not good, not healthy..
    so what do u do? u want yr happy hour as well u want your son to be happy and not label u as such..
    drink if u must but don't let it influence your son, he might turn around and say.. "Hey, last time u used to drink, why not I?"
    I am also in the same position as u, though not in terms of drinking..I do things I hope my kids will not follow too,
    I dont want them to turn around and say, "Hey, mum, u used to be like this too!"

    Well, we got to decide.. :)

  7. ohhh gosh.....hahahha dont be sad...i am not sure but i tot u have cut down a lot on drinking already? i think there are many kinds of alcoholic and you are the recreational kind and not the hardcore rite....haha

  8. no sad no sad brother.. maybe it's time to 'explain' to the little one so he knows your good time is not for alcoholics..

    but you also must know not to overdo ya..

  9. After reading your post in fact , it put a smile on my face...... a child is just so innocent and pure , whatever we do or how we behaved , in their eyes , it created a huge impression and cannot be erased easily. He could have pick up the word from someone whom he heard saying this " alcoholic " and during that the person could have behaved in a very upset or agitated manner that thus giving him the impression that drinking beer is something bad and not encouraged.....

  10. Just drop by to say HELLO...

    don't feel so sad about it...try to change before it's too late...still have time to sort things out...

    best of luck...

  11. If i were you I will feel the same. And feel ashamed as for not showing good example. Maybe you can still have you jolly good times but not too frequent?

  12. Ooo, that is sad being labelled as "alcoholic". So, are u going to change a bit of your style then?

  13. dont be so sad,

    They still small kid,

    little drink is good for health,

    drunk is not good... take care

  14. poor thing....for non drinker, maybe the definition is different..and at times, kids think differently and he has not seen a real "alcholic"

  15. wait till he read your blog, he will think you are a sex addict as well.

  16. guess you need to explain to your son "having a good time" and "alcoholic" is two different thing. Else he will be conduse and might get in trouble for using the wrong term some time.

  17. Don't worry Eugene. I think Jovial just hasn't understood the meaning of alcoholic correctly. Maybe it's not a bad idea to sit down and just help him understand the meaning of alcoholic. Like you said, it's not a problem if you enjoy your drinks as long as you know your limit. Nick sist down to at least 3-4 pints of lager every evening and because our children see that just as normal as me drinking my cups of tea, they know that it's not a problem or issue at all.

    If you were an alcoholic, i very much doubt you'd be able to write wonderful entries in your blog. So hope this little problem will be resolved soon.

  18. i think u need to have a little chat with him. sometimes kids dont know wat they say or mean

  19. LOL at Deepak's comment.

    Good one, Deepak!

    Yeah, Eugene, better be careful what you blog about. haha...


    My husband is a smoker. And my son started to follow his behaviour by pretending to smoke and stuff. I got pissed, bashed up my son, and toss him outside of the house... yes, literally, outside of the house and left him to cry there for 15 minutes... because I was pissed that he is following his father's bad behaviour. Despite of my telling him not to follow countless times!

    I am not sure if that's a right thing to do. Loosing my temper with my son like that, just because I am pissed with my husband for not willing to give up smoking even when our house was burn down and I was traumatized by it. I was not really angry at hubby, but my MIL...for not disciplining my husband when he was younger, allowing him to smoke, encouraging him, even, etc. I don't want my son like that. Do you think I am bad, Eugene? For being upset over such matter?

    In your case you should feel happy because your son recognized alcohol as a bad stuff, and I doubt that he will indulge in alcohol when he turns older. He will know the limit. You should be happy, not sad, because Jovial is wise for his age!I hope you'd take my words into consideration. Instead of drinking beer in front of your son, start drinking wine, or champagne. Drink in front of him, by all means. But drink with class and style. Drink in front of him to show him that this is your way to celebrate life, celebrate romance with his mother, and he will soon understand that you drink, not becoz you are alcoholic, but because you are celebrating life. This may not make sense to you, but I've always believe in if you wanna do something, do it in style, and that includes drinking!

  21. I think Jovial is too young to understand the meaning of an alcohol. His father is anything but one so perhaps you could advise him not to say such things in the future since it's not true :)

  22. maybe can tell him alcoholic means you cannot stop drinking and drinks control you. so in your case, you can stop anytime.
    i hate it when guys dare each other or even taunt another to drink. that always lead to one being very uncomfortable at the end of the night.

  23. well, just tell your kid that you're not a drinker but only drink occasionally. Being a hard drinker and an occasional drinker is very different. He may got the wrong idea. it's just like buying 4d vs going to casino regularly.

  24. I really think that Jovial should be told what an alcoholic means. If Jovial think being an alcoholic is bad, I really think he will not mention that to his friend . I rather think he think it is NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING AN ALCOHOLIC ,thinking that you are one . Hence, I really rather you explain the TRUE MEANING OF ALCOHOLIC to him before he calls someone else an alcoholic!

    Anyways, I know for a fact that NOTHING is lost on TEENAGERS, since I have two myself, so, just be careful as we do not want our kids to justify our behaviors, I do tell my kids that what I did is wrong if it is WRONG. Anyways, my kids will have a "talk" with me if they are uncertain about something.


  25. dont be sad...
    they will grow up and soon will understand...=)

  26. Eugene, when we meet up in Penang, no boozing ok? let jovial be happy and all of us will be happy too :)

  27. as long as u dun drink until ur all drunk and not in control of urself, i guess it's ok?

    but i guess u should have a chat with ur son, find out what is his definition of 'alcoholic' and whether he likes to see his father drinking.

    as a child, i never liked seeing my father drinking or smoking... and i'm glad he has quit both longggg time ago (due to health reasons). I guess subconsciously, no child likes to see their parents doing something that may risk spoiling their health =)