Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Leave,,, the first time he lays his hands on you....

Before i forget i really want to blog about something shared with me by an old friend as i bumped into her last friday.

Didnt expect to bump into her for she is always travelling overseas because her nature of business in high fashion required her to travel extensively,at a glance, not too sure if it was her, anyway i just called out " Sabrina, Sabrina" trying my luck if it was really her. She looked around and said hi. (she didnt know me by the name Eugene, didnt use that name when i was younger lah)

We were standing by the roadside chit-chatting away, and as usual the topics for married couples always revolve what else but family, marriage and children. Cheekily, i commented that she had put on weight, suprisingly she agreed and she told me that she was on some medication for hormone imbalance problem, i asked her why, she frankly began by telling me that she had just got divorced with her husband of 18 years.

I was so shocked as i always thought that she had a good life, a handsome husband, a good Mercedes to go around and always well groomed from top to toe. Concerned as an old friend, i asked her how did it happen, she told me that she had been a victim of domestic violence started the first time the third year into her marriage life.

Initially, she stayed on because the children were still small, and the husband would always feel remorseful after his violent acts inflicted upon my friend and the worst is even her own family could not believe that she was the victim and she felt so helpless.

I guess for so many years, she had suffered in silence where no one from the outside can even sense the ordeal she went through. I am happy for her now that she had finally stood up and broken the shackle.

After about 20 minutes standing by the roadside, she said she had to go and i wished her all the best and applauded her courage to be a real WOMAN.

After saying bye bye to her, i was thinking how many women out there are like the ex Sabrina suffering in silence, letting their man abuse them and with no courage to stand up. I must really say, it is really really sad for that thing to happen to a defendless woman.

P/S : Leave him quick, the first time he lays his hands on you..


  1. domestic violence.. yes, most of the ladies didnt want to leave bec of kids and also dependency on their husband's livelihood. Those with good jobs are the ones who can leave, pity those who do not have anyone to turn to... that is why nowadays the radio always encourage neighbours or whoever knows of domestic violence to call up authorities concerned...

  2. I think she really sacrificed herself for her children while they were still young....may be there were other factors that she still stay on not leaving her husband.
    I agree with reanaclaire, not all women are independant, for those that got no choice, they just have to continue to depend on the right or wrong!

  3. women have higher tolerance and patience coz of child and also the care for their love ones... not just on domestic violence, also on cheating husbands...

  4. Husbands who beat up their wives are not men... Call the police, take legal action and sue his pants off - and take custody of the kids! But of course, she can't do that if he has his valid reasons...??? As the old people say, it takes two hands to clap... We only know one side of the story.

  5. It's never easy being a mom, isn't it? Always hearing woman sacrifice for the children.

  6. That line makes a great tagline in the campaign against domestic violence.

    "Leave him, the first time he lays his hands on you"

    Having said that, why did it take 3 years of marriage before he made his first strike? A violent person wouldn't have been able to hide his true colours for that long. Anyway.. there's just no excuse!

  7. I would agree with this. if there is a first time, there will be a second time. And if my man dares to lay a finger on me and hurt even the root of my hair, I shall not tolerate it, because I know, if there is a first time, there will always be a second time.

  8. i heard abt ppl talking abt this topic in the radio before, leaving a guy behind especially when u have children and stuff.... u realy need a lot of courage to do that... becoz there are a lot to think abt, how ppl see u? how children see their father and what's next in ur life after u step out...
    but most women become stronger after this..