Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Why cant it stay the same..........

I used to make to tell this joke to my friends, "My wife tends to complain that why now when we cross the road,i dont hold her hand to get over to the other side like before, then i responded you said it well, it was then but this is now" Well, this is of course just a joke.

Why cant the Then stays the same with the Now and what comes in between the Then and the Now that makes a relationship loses the sparks ?Take for an example 10 or 15 years ago, you were so madly in love, and with that love you decided to walk down the aisles, but 10 or 15 years or even shorter the relationship loses the steam and everything else seems so different. Why is it so, i really wonder.

Did you know that the statistic shows that, 4 out of 10 marriages will end up in divorce, and the most common ground for divorces is irrconsilable differences. Funny la, i think we didnt see the differences in the Then and we see them in the Now and we cant take it anymore so we call it quit.

I dont want to expound on this issues, i want to hear from you, i want you to share your takes with me on this.

When i told my friend over the cuppa last night that i would always always love my wife untill my dying days, he intercepted and said that i should not conclude so early that my love for her will not waver. Seriously i cant comprehend his reason.

P/S... When i say i love you, i really do.


  1. hey eugene, i haven't found a good answer to "why I should believe in marriage" in the first place! i completed a post on this quite some time ago but i haven't posted it yet. Maybe i will soon.

    divorce rates are super high, so why enter into a messy "arrangement" that might very likely end?

    The THEN and the NOW. Every couple argues about that.

    You used to hold my hand when we shop!
    You used to open the door for me!
    You used to carry heavy things for me!
    You used to like kissing me...

    Now you don't like to hold my hand very much...
    You let the door slam in my face
    You don't help when I carry heavy things
    You only like pecking now, what happened to the "passionate" kissing.?

    Always a difference. I dunno why. If i did, I could help a lot of relationships and marriages.

    Maybe our innate, uncontrollable nature is to take things we've easy access to and/or are accustomed to, for granted.

  2. Things would always change and never be the same. It's not just the human personality but our health,work and everything closes to us. It either changed for the better or worse. So, it's a matter of how to manage the changes and put in efforts to rekindle the sparks.

  3. there's a saying - nothing last forever no matter how bad we want it to. i don't believe the word "forever" especially when it comes to relationship.

    and i find it really funny when my colleagues complain a lot about their spouses. even my mum does that at times. if they find their other halves so annoying, why do they wanna get married in the first place lol.

    sorry, can't help being pessimistic =p

  4. good genes must be spread around...

    u must marry 2nd & 3rd wives!

  5. Especially when the children have come, the wife shifts to 2nd place...or sometimes 3rd, after tha children AND the car! Hahahahahaha!!!!

  6. i think one good reason why relationships start to sour is because of improper communication. what is understandable before may never be the same after so many years. what i'm trying to say is that time flies and attitudes change, we change also, that is but part of our life. and we must have that flexibility to adjust to whatever changes life brings on to us. never lose that ability to relate and communicate as this is the most important. married life is not a bed of roses, there are a lot of trials and tribulations that need to be hurdled along the way and those should be hurdled together by both husband and wife. not by one and certainly not by the other. another is that we, husband and wife, tend to commit mistakes along the way, it would be better if one knows how to acknowledge the mistake, learn from it, make a vow to never repeat it and learn to move on. married life is not a question of whose right or whose wrong, whose intelligent and whose dumb, whose better at earning money or who is a much better parent; to me married life is about the two of you overcoming everything that comes your way and doing things that is right and better for your family. keyword here is "right". because if it is the right thing always, there would be no more problems. its that simple!
    very nice post bro and interactive too ha! i think some blogs should be written like this. more like a forum where we, your readers can freely express our thoughts and opinions. you really are gifted bro in your writing! ciao!

  7. Cikgu is right. And Ju Ann is right too... where the hell is my passionate kiss? Now only a peck ahh? GROWL!