I have said " i love you" to all of my family members in on way or another, but there is just one person that i never had the chance to do so, and never i would. I have carried this regret for almost 20 years now, and it bugged me again last night, so i decided to put in down in words and take it off my chest.
I was 16 years old then, and i was angry with him the whole day, didnt want to look at him and talk to him, he moved closely to me and laid his hand on my hair and gently he stroked my hair down, wanted to tell me something but the face i gave him prevented him from doing so. May be he was thinking to himself he should say something to me when he still could, but damn it i just lost the chance of saying something to him which i easily could, he was gently letting go of his hand from mine, and with his weakly voice he said this " Leong, (he used to call me this when i was younger) papa is going to Kuala Lumpur for medical checkp up, you take care". he just left it there without saying anything more, and as stubborn as i was, i didnt respond to him, lest i look at him, he feebly walked towards the door, and slowly i lost sight of him, when i made my stubburn head to turn to look at him, it was all too late, and that was the last time i saw my old man.
A friend of mine working in Kuala Lumpur called me up about 9.00 pm the next day, he was delivering a news that i wish i never needed to hear, he said to me " your papa is dying, and he wanted me to tell you that he loved you"
It was all too late for me now, i took a bus down to Kuala Lumpur with my mom and the other sister, and yes it was all too late for me, i had just lost somebody of whom i wanted to hug and say i love you to but i never could.....
sorry guys i cant continue ,,,,,,
P/S.. pap if you could hear me now, i love you