I have a customer who happens to be a lady, who also happens to be in her mid fourties and who like it or not by her choice is still single albeit a joyful one. A very nice lady, i really like her character of taking things like a pinch of salt. She works in a small company, with 7 or 8 other collegues, all of them are married, and she is the so called odd one out just because she is a spinster.
She is not at all fashionable, very thrifty and her daily working attire could be as boring as one can imagine. We are very close in term of our friendship, but that closeness that we enjoy is beginning to create uneasiness in me not because of her, but from her fellow collegues.
I despise those who make fun of one's gender, race, color, marital status and sexuality, and lately this good friend of mine has been a target of jokes and laughing stock aim at her singlehood, which also happens to involve me as well.
Initially, i thought it was ok when the jokes about us being an item, about how compatible we are, about how nice if she could be my second wife, i really regarded it as just another office joke.
Lately,those jokes have taken the different twist and they had become kind of unsettling for me, now the jokes are told with a lot of sexual innuendos, some have even gone overboard how i could stay forever youthful with having sex with a virgin and many unpleasant ones which the collegues regarded as very mild.
My anger has come to the brim, i told myself if the next trip when i pay my visit there, and if i keep hearing the jokes about me and this spinster (My good friend), i will burn them as if they are in the inferno, but i have ONE big problem though.
One of the biggest joker who happens to be my customer, the person who gives me business.... Please tell me what to do ?
P/S : If i choose to be a gay, single, a spinster, a divorcee, that's my right and you dont have any f**king business in it
Bold Talk Eugene, take them as compliments! Your business customer might be jeles of you ma, so he is making a joke out of your expense.. U look so youthful and can "kap" with anyone.. so naturally, those who envy u will tease like "shit."... so dont let it into u.. dont get yourself overworked.. one day, the jokes will die off naturally..
ReplyDeleteThat is not nice at all. I think a friendly and polite one-on-one talk with the customer is timely. Best wishes, Eugene.
ReplyDeleteif that the case, usually people talk about it in not so serius conversation, such is, aiyaaa boss, dont laaa says things like that boss, make me shy only (whit smiling and laughing) usually its work, but i dont have that attitude to say or do something like that, and that is why i usually stay in the dark, :(.
ReplyDeletemy take will be to "just let it be", bcs the more you "provoke", the more you and especially your good fren are going to "suffer" and you will have an easier time making your point and leave but your fren is stuck in the company and have to endure the aftereffects and perhaps isolation from other colleagues....however, the choice is urs....choose and choose wisely :)
ReplyDeletehurmm..nih sudah lebih if the jokes macam tu..
ReplyDeletetak apa lah, you masuk telinga kanan, keluar teliga kiri...
i'm facing the same dilemma at my workplace :( everyone is calling me lou gu por, pls tell me how should i deal with it? it really hurts :(
ReplyDeleteI agree with Claire, just take them as compliments... some people just don't know the limit when comes to jokes. When they are happy laughing, they tend to forget how others feelings will be hurt.
ReplyDeletewell.. let me say this.. even you both are married, ppl will still make fun of it.. so, 一动不如一静
ReplyDeleteYa...just ignore them, it will die a natural death, but you must confide in your wife (after all, she's the one that matters the most...not the rest!) about this and make sure she knows and understands. Women are very complicated beings and they may get jealous no matter how you try to explain to them the real situation...especially when they get to hear it from others.
ReplyDeleteSometimes people don't realize their so-called "jokes" aren't funny and are overboard. I have had the unpleasant experience of having to tell off a friend in a frank manner. I was glad I did. At least from that day onwards, that friend knows what is a joke and what isn't to others. Good clean jokes are ok but not making jokes at the expense of others.
ReplyDeleteCustomer is alrite right. So, boss, YOUR customer is always rite.. u'll know wat to do..
ReplyDeleteThe best way to avoid from being the joke of the day is actually don’t give any respond to them. They would be happy if you respond to the “joke”. A while later, when u stop giving out any respond, they will shut it themselves.
ReplyDeleteOr, the second one, get real pissed and yell at them to STFU. But everyone might gossips at your back later, so from the joke of the day, u’ll become “gossip of the day”.
Those were what I experienced before.. I’ve tried both ways… =___=”
it will sometimes face trouble in business, be patient
ReplyDeleteI had that sort of experience once in my ex-firm many years ago.
ReplyDeleteIt's another way around. It's the single lady who was feeling insecure and creating jokes of me being with another male colleague.
These people are adults they should know how to behave properly, shouldn't they?
Well, I guess it is best just don't react to the jokes. Don't join in. Perhaps after some time that lame jokes will die off.
PS: Thanks for visiting.
Oh sarcasam Eugene...deal it with sarcasam. Throw in back in their faces and see how they deal with it. Smile and say, 'Really? does it make retain my youthful looks if I were to have sex with a virgin? Did YOU try it? Is THAT your secret? Oh wow...now it's all coming out, and I never knew. THANKS for sharing it with me'. Or something along that line anyway.
ReplyDeleteI know this sounds harsh but they've got to learn what's acceptable and what's not. There's only so much rubbish you can take from some inconsiderate people. Hope this helps.
By the way, I AM SO SORRY to point this out but it's the English teacher in me which I can't help. A stickler for correct spelling. You spell 40s without the 'u' - forties. Again, I am so sorry.
By the way, i'm glad i'm following your blog. As I said before, it makes such a good read. I haven't bought any magazines for absolute ages as I just drown myself in people's blogs.
that's not a pleasant joke. A sense of humour is great as long as it doesn't go beyond the limits.
ReplyDeletebest of all, listen to your heart and have the courage to follow what it tells you. the power is in your hands.
thanks for visiting.
in my opinion i think its good to be frank with them that ure not comfortable with their 'overdose' joke..yalah at first it feels so funny...and even we dont like it at all we can assume it as a joke at 1ST!..tapi kalau sudah tahap macam ni...better be frank instead of one day u cant tahan and spill ur mad like volcano spill its lava..
ReplyDeleteLet them say what they want. If you react, they will be even more suspicious and tell more stories. As long as your wife trust you, then you are ok!
ReplyDeleteOMG! These people are really annoying! If I were you! I am going to see these jokers eye to eye and confront them. :)
ReplyDeleteAnyway just cared for you bro. :)
ReplyDeletenot to worry as long as your friendship with her is clean-cut..
ReplyDeletei think, let it be. it will die out once there is no response or development from any of u. the more u respond to it, the more they have these funny thoughts. Ur life is bigger than that. :-)
ReplyDeleteTake it with a pinch of salt. Tongues are meant to wag !! After a while, it'll stop when ppl see nothing happening n realise both of you are merely close friends BUT no matter how close, make sure you wife knows about it :)
ReplyDeleteHi Eugene, don't get so upset with what other people said, i know is kind of annoying things if people keep making fool around you and your good friend. But just let them say whatever they like...who cares! Because as long as your wife and your good friend understand you then everything will be okay. Don't get too angry okay? Smile~~~ :)
ReplyDeleteSmile will make you even more "Leng Zai" and Man! ;)
first of all, you don't call your goodfriend spinster Eugene !
ReplyDeletesecond, if you are bothered by the joke, just voice out..
Eugene, that's not very nice of them. Next time just teach them the concept of a platonic friendship and how it can exsist between a man and a woman. These people clearly don't know this concept!
ReplyDeleteIt isn't nice of them to say such things.. but laugh it off instead of commenting anything. Eventually they will get the hint one day or it will just die off. You can even add it a tease "what you jealous now?" and laugh :P. That would make them ashame I hope.
ReplyDelete