Last week, a lady friend called me up asking me for some help. She knew that I was kind of close with his son,who happened to be same age with Jovial and attending the same of school. There have been many occasions I have talked to that boy but somehow I knew this time was kind of bad.
So the mother lamented,"You know Jovial's papa (she always calls me that) you must help me to talk to Eric, he has been going to internet cafes and coming home as late as 1am or sometimes 3 am even on school days" I said okay then I told her that I would buy them a dinner,(she and the son) together with my family.
So,last night,I was having a dinner cum sharing cum counseling with them together with my family. I began by telling Eric that I really regarded him as my boy and that I cared for him too (cos I've known this boy since small) and I asked him if he could be open to me (in the presence of his mother) and if he was comfortable to talk, I said to him if he did not feel comfortable in such a setting,then I should not continue but just to "makan" he said okay to talk.
I gave him a pat on his shoulder and assuring him that I would attentively listen to him,(in the presence of his mother) and again I told him that I was worried about him, with his unusual nocturnal activities of late, I told him that must be something wrong some where.
After so much of probing and listening, I really found out a few things and sadly it had got something to do with his parents. You see, the mother is a full time housewife, Eric is the only son and of late the mother found out that the father had a extra marital affair, she can't fight back cos she possesses a very soft demeanor,so he swallowed up all her angst,anguish and frustration and vend it all out with her one and only candidate,that's Eric.
Eric really thought that his mom was being very unreasonable,picking on him like a time bomb and he being a 15 years old boy,just hated being around home,he could not tolerate his mom incessant nagging,therefore I chose to escape and resorting internet cafe as his solace.
My lovely wife was good in sharing with Eric's mother about being strong and at the same time, I was emphasizing to Eric truly that his mother loved him very much and he needed to be sensitive to his mother well being as well.
I gave him a hug and I promised his mother that I would continue to spare some time in guiding this boy...
My conclusion, please give our children a space to grow up nicely, I know we parents are sometimes under tremendous pressure as well but our children's future cannot be easily compromised.
I called Eric's mother this afternoon,telling her to spare one evening or two that I would take Eric and Jovial for some running with me.............
P/S : Please give them some good air to breathe...........................Thank you