Thursday, April 29, 2010

Infuriated by used and unused condoms.......

I could see anguish and frustration manifested in my friend's reddened face, as soon as he hanged up his mobile after talking to his ex wife, i immediately asked him what happened, he blurted the incessant speech of profanity and vulgarity in Hokkien and suddenly he asked me this question, " Tek Leong,( this is how my old schoolmate address me), how old were you when first had sex ?"

This scene took place yesterday, when i called my friend up for lunch, this old school mate of mine got married at the age of 24, divorced, remarried, two sons from the previous marriage one 16 and one 19 respectively. We are both 44 now, i've always marvelled at my friends marrying young but now i sense their frustration as well.

I didn't answer his first question for i tasted the forbidden fruit so much later than he did, instead i asked him what had his frustration got to do with my first sexual experience. With no sign of him cooling down and with the conversation still punctuated with the Hokkien profanity, so he divulged the reason behind his frustration.

He told me that when he was cleaning up his 16 years old son's room, accidentally he found an used condom heaped among the rubbish in the garbadge bin, not satisfied with what he found, his immediate action spured him to seek out his son's drawer and he found two more unused condoms.

I asked him did he know of his son having any girl friends, he said he knew but he said the girl was only 15 years old, then i asked him again did he confront his son about his discovery. He said he wanted his ex wife to talk to his son first but sadly his ex acted as if nothing happened.

Then he asked me what would i do if i were to be in his shoes, he wanted me to share with me, seriously i told him i really didn't know what to do if i were to be in his shoes but i did tell him to act cool about it, may be talk to hm like an adult and scare him a bit that his son was flouting with a criminal offense, then if he is not careful he can be accused of raping an underaged girl.

I beg him to share with me what he'd done or what action he'd taken when we meet the next time.

P/S : Teach our children respect, love them to love others

24 comments:

  1. gosh. well i don't know what to say here. haha. now am start wondering bout my brotherS. haha. but am pretty sure dey still "V". ROFLMAO!
    cz i noe in their head not those but studies and career and futures. :)

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  2. am not sure how is others, and doesnt mean to offend anyone at here, but as i mentioned in my blog before how conservative my parents are. and therefore we all siblings know what actually we aiming for in life. seriously, there's no such topic that related with sex in our family, i know that sounds silly. haha

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  3. My son is at the age of 5 now....can't imagine if it happen 10 years after...

    Good to build a good relationship with the young one, so that one day we can have nice talk and discuss like friends..

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  4. to be honest again, i only know bout condom this thingy when i study biology in form 4! haha for being in pure science stream student, it is a must to take all biology, chemistry and physic subjects. :/

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  5. obviously parenting failed :(
    sigh! big sigh!

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  6. why must ask the ex-wife to talk to the son? Your friend can also.

    I think your advice for him to talk to his son like an adult is good enough

    The bright side is that the son is smart enough to use condom :)

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  7. Kiahahaha! You friend should be proud of his son... of being able to implement "safer sex"!! Yeah, I reckon your idea is quite applicable... I don't think the boy won't bother the violation of Law.

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  8. Gosh, kids are too open these days, need to educate them. Luckilly my gramdma brought me up in an old fashion way, :p

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  9. Eugene, scary but true.. so many stories heard about that.. but i really do not know how to approach them if they were my kids.. i really need to learn..

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  10. that's scary...the raging hormones in the teenage years can wreak havoc! It's a most challenging period for parents and the kids.

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  11. hmmm .... pls share ur next post when u meet up with ur frens again ... ... but parents responsibility is very mush need in nowsday !!!
    Youngster can really really create havoc and trouble if parents didnt watch carefully .... "O.o"

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  12. Times have changed...things are very different now. Parents should realise that and carry out their responsibility to teach and guide their children properly...and along the right path.

    What's this about sex education in school? So that when things go wrong, they can blame the teachers and schools the same way they blame them for everything else?

    You shit, you clean your arsehole yourself. Don;t expect somebody else to wipe it for you! Tsk! Tsk!

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  13. oh my... there should bea very serious discussion with him and his son..

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  14. that is how curiosity can affects someone's mind.... the fact that there's a condom inside means that his son is either using or thinking of using it,... which both not good and very inappropriate in his age..

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  15. i think he should tell his son the responsibility that is wired in using condoms and the responsibility of having sex,,,,
    i think every teenagers should be aware of it

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  16. oh dear oh dear.. i oso dunno wat to do shud i be in his shoes... but losing his cool is definitely not the way.. his son wont listen if he is angry and cursing..

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  17. oh my... kids these days start so young....hmmm. very tricky situation to deal with. I hope it can be resolved in a nice way.

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  18. No surprised at all with kids these days. Well, comforting to know that at least he is practising safe sex.
    +Ant+

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  19. if this same thing happened to me,i won't panic - REALLY. i'll talk to my son of coz.i tell him clearly about the law,concerning sex with under-aged gal and the penalty from it.i will tell him to imagine what if his galfriend got "fat".if all these advices ain't gonna even tickles him a little bit,...i'll have to talk personally with his galfriend and if that's also don't knock any senses - last resort i have to see the parents.we as parents at times,have very "limited choice".

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  20. wah...headache! headache! Not easy to be a parents indeed. Hope my children will share everything with me and talk to me like a friend instead of secrectly doing things at my back. I started to get worried now. They are only under 5. hahaha....headache!

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  21. The positive side is, the son is using condoms - practising safe sex.

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  22. Kids underage having sex, though consensual, can be charged for statutory rape.

    But for what it's worth, at least the boy have some sense to use condoms.

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  23. why ask a woman to talk to a boy *ahem* a MAN about used condom? Anyway, what to do .already done-ed.

    Oh i like smalkuching comment.. yeah at least he used a condom. means he wanted to prevent "something" to happen. JUst gotto talk to them like an adult and tell them responsibility.

    But then the father allowed the kid to have gf.... cannot expect them to only go yum cha and eat burger only right?

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  24. things kids do nowadays huh... ife was simpler then

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