Sunday, February 21, 2010

Being A Son In Law.................

I nearly had a row with my mother in law when i was spending my CNY's week down in Johor Bahru, the tipping point for my frustration was about her insinuations about me not being the kind of son in law in accordance to her standard.

Please dont get me wrong, i do not harbour any ill feelings towards both my in laws, it is just that she fails to understand that i was cultured by her standards or simply i did not come from that houshold like herchildren or i fail to pretend to impersonate the kind of son in law that mirrors her expectation which i am darn tired of doing.

I can truly understand her concern and her sometimes unkind comments about me being the husband to her daughter, and how my natural trait of being thrify giving her the impression that her daugther is deprived of some kind of a good life. I believe what she wanted is to make sure that her daughter is well taken care of, i can truly understand that once again.

Sometime i really wish i could be bold enough to stand up, just to tell that i cant be the son in law that she thought i should be but i can only be the husband that i thought i ouught to be, but i never had the gut to do that for i know it might strain the relationship of both, and the saddest part is my lovely wife will be the only VICTIM should that ever happen.

In retrospect, i have been married to my lovely wife for the past 14 years, and i truly am thankfulto my in laws for bringing up my lovley wife with all the good values that are truly evident in her, and for that i am proud to say that my in laws are great in that sense.

P/S : When differences collide, the best thing to do is to do nothing..........


  1. ssshhhh... yes, diam diam is the baik-est. After all, you dont see your in laws often so...
    as long as your wife understands, that is all that counts..
    Enjoy another week of CNY, Eug!

  2. Hello there!!! First of all, good to have you back!

    Mother in laws are very funny sort of breed. I have trouble understanding mine as well, and i've been her daughter in laws for good 8 years now. But I've had my share of being hot under the collar and on the verge of bursting. Having said that, we've never had any rows and I've learnt to walk away from frustration a long time ago, simply because I was brought up to respect my elders.

    It's difficult really because I can definitely see myself as a mother in law in the future and I believe what goes around, comes around. Which is why I bite m tongue a lot. That's why we blog Eugene...we channel it here. And hope to God they'd never find our blogs....hahahahahahah!!!

    Have a good weekend my friend.


  3. yan .. yan.. yan.. yan.. yan..YANN! !!! tolerance is the key to a good relationship with in laws. Moreover, they are so far away, I'm sure you can tolerate.

  4. Agreed bro. Sometimes the best thing to do is remain silent. :)

  5. I suppose I have to chirp in and add, YES.. in-laws are the weirdest breed (it's scary to know we might be in-laws to someone one day too!) and when it comes to them, the lesser u know, the better.

    In most cases that is, I'm sure there are lovely in-laws out there!

  6. You geng with cleffairy problem with out-laws!!! Hahahaha!

  7. @Cikgu... yeah... got gang. LOL... Actually, I am quite ok wif my FIL is my favourite...but I tak ngam wif MIL...cuz each time she opened her mouth, she had nothing good to say, and no matter what we brats do, it will be wrong in her eyes. From eating to wearing clothes, all wrong. So susah, I malas wanna layan, end up, avoid her like nobody's business la... tarik the brat along wif me oso. Good lah liddat...better than see each other's face ma.

    @Eugene...we say it best when we say nothing at all. With outlaws like this, the best is shuddup, zonk out and avoid like fuck!

    @Fely... ur in the same shoes as I am. 8 years oso... she still theer's fucking nonsense on her part. Lazy wanna say...I could write a whole damn novel about it for all I care... and i pray to god if I were to become like my MIL, faster take my life away. I don't want to be a monster!

  8. Hello there.. so long you have a feeling that you were not from her stomach b4, then you will feel better..
    U marry your wife not your MIL, so who cares???...
    Many marriages went sour 'coz of MILs.. hahaha..

  9. Silence is golden! Just be patience!

  10. Sabar, sabar...Thank goodness, she's not from the same town with you.

    Well, at least you see her only once a year, so let her nagging be "sweet" singing to your ears.

  11. Ohh...this is bad. But honor thy mother and father right?

  12. 14 years ... and still having problem with in tought that there wount be anymore expectation after 5-10 years of marriage...guess i was wrong.

  13. i tot the mother in law issue will only involve the daughter in law and mother in law like wat i had at home, didnt think it will be a guy's issue too, well, i agree the best way is to just keep quiet...

  14. whew... tahannnnnn... take deep breaths

  15. old people are just hard to please, just sabar with her ok :) i'm sure you doesn't want to upset your lovely wife. think of the brighter side ==>> you don't see your MIL that often after all, hehe!

  16. Happy new year to you.

    After 27 years, I have less problem but then a new type of problem appears! She is old and fragile and she needs [real] attention!! So we are all bad boy and girls unless .... So we sit down and listen to her "scolding"....hahahaha.
    It is 3-4 hours drive away and have to pass through 4 immigration checkpoints one way.Visiting too often is a challenge.

  17. I guess becos your MIL loves the daughter so much that sometimes they tend to hurt your feelings. I see with my own eyes,how my MIL treats my SIL's bf. :P But when the same things happened to me, she will just say, it's like that laa, just be more tolerance.. :P so, just one ear listens one ear out laa.. no hard feelings.. cheers.. Gong Xi Fai Cai!

  18. agreed with you. Telling you the truth hubby has a heated argument with his brother right after we reached home from airport last night. I nearly couldnt control my frustration and if not because of my parents-in-law, I would have involved and probably get hubby to move out from the house that moment....sigh! I have good and kind PIL, but my BIL? A bit paranoid....tough to stay under one roof.

  19. Haih Eugene, take it easy la, no mother like your own mother I say. Why can't MILs be nice sometimes eh? :)

  20. Hi Brother…

    Every parents always love and do all their best to protect their children… sure you can understand…

    Actually my parents very simple… but you know la… old traditional minded…
    They just hope you love my sis, love the family… also responsible for the family… fortunately you do

    And I understand that you're very “angmo” style… so sometimes, what you do or you NOT do, make them feel uncomfortable…
    Like for example… I can still remember …last CNY in Penang… after swimming… I remember all of us just were finding a table in the food court… asking the old and the young ones what they want to eat…and make arrangement for the foods ordering… But I saw you already buy your own food and seating there and eat… and I know you very hungry… but… it's not exactly the way one should do, right? i mean if we go out with our parents or elderly, we would want to respect them by asking them first out of courtesy? you think so?

    Sorry to make this example here… but i cant forget that impression..

    by saying this, i am not pin-pointing on you or anyone, there's nothing wrong with either you or my mother, just that the expectation and the lifestyle of both of you is very different… maybe this is call “generation gap”

    Anyway, hope you can feel that me & my brother always treat you as our family member…

  21. Hi, I just happened to hop here from one of the many blogger kakis that we have in common :-) I love reading your posts. Very insightful, enlightening and addictive :-) Will be back!

  22. You are the good son in law for them...

    Aleast you never start to quarrel back to them right?

    as Reanaclaine said "diam diam is better."